Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

To Tell Or Not To Tell



Recommended Posts

Just out of curiosity, did you tell most everyone that you were having gastric bypass surgery or keep it under wraps? I've told my family members and a few close friends, but that's it for the most part. Most FB friends, church friends, etc. don't know I'm having it next week. I'm not unashamed of having it, but I guess I'm afraid there will be people who will criticize me for choosing to have it, even though my cardiologist says if I don't get my blood pressure lowered soon I'm going to have a stroke.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told anybody that would listen, lol. I had to get the criticism out of the way.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using RNYTalk

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am going back and forth on the issue as well. for now, I only told my wife and my mom. I think i will keep it at that for now. I feel like I dont owe anybody an explanation. I have a feeling, however, that once i start to lose weight, i will probably tell more people. and especially, others that i know could benefit from it.

also, i think of it like this: they are risks associated with the surgery, but the what are the risks for NOT getting the surgery? the risks of continuing the way i am outweigh those of surgery. good luck for whatever you decide.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This surgery is a most for me my Blood Pressure is out of control and I don't want to have another stroke. I only told my mom and my kids they are 22 and 18 I didn't tell my dad because he worries and he does not need the stress of worring because he's sick. For the others I feel its non of there business.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just told my hubby and BF since she had GBP last year and one other friend. Not telling anyone else for now. Probably my mom afterwards. Don't want her to worry until its over.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I started to be the same way, I didn't want a lot of people to know. But through this journey I have learned that I am proud of my decision to change my lifestyle. I don't care what people think but as of tight now I haven found any one who has criticized me to my face. I knew people would be suspicious so if they ask I tell them. Don't be afraid of what people think, most of us have spent our lives worrying what people think of us being over weight, so why should we worry if we are working hard to change it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't tell anyone. Not sure if I will. My husband is the only one who knows.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You owe no one explanation in what you do to your body. It's like going around saying I just had sex.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have only told a few closest to me people.. Have received enough comments from them. Hard to get others to understand where you are coming from and why you made the decision.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband and MIL know, I told one BFF and she was super supportive (has actually been my cheerleader!) then went to tell another BFF and did not get a welcome response, That made me gun shy. So I stopped telling anyone. Built up my courage again, told a GF whom I babysit for and found out that she had it done herself 3 years ago, however did not stick to it and has managed to put back on all her weight. Now I hear all the negatives from her and her husband every day I go over to watch their children. So back to being gun shy. I have evaluated my circle and realize, I have told the important people, so when I start loosing the weight, the folks who ask, will get the "portion control and low carbs" story, if they press, then I will go further, but am not offering it up first thing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To me I follow Dr. Seuss:

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

I have been a people pleaser most of my life and it took me a long time to get to this place. I hope this helps you all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Heres the deal u have come this far for your health, its time to be open with yourself. I told everyone just because it announced my new upcoming life journey and real talk you will find out which people are on your team. The ones who judge you are the ones you can do wothout, support is key. I unfortunately had no one that stuck by me however I have always been able to rely on me. Figure out now who your weakest links are and cut em loose!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hear you...I also do t want to hear negativity ATM. Told my husband and mum....maybe after everything I may tell people who really do care...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have talked to my family and close friends. I wanted the people I am close to to know. I need that support. I have not told anyone at work yet, including the boss. Not sure what I am going to say once I get my date. I'm guessing ill probably tell my boss, but not really wanting to...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Snow... I know how you feel. If I get a date I'm not sure what to tell my boss. She's awesome but the whole team are like sticks. I'm twice their size. I know I shouldn't be do vain but I'm embarrassed right now. I hope I get strong like the other folks here. Good luck

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×