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To Tell Or Not To Tell



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Just out of curiosity, did you tell most everyone that you were having gastric bypass surgery or keep it under wraps? I've told my family members and a few close friends, but that's it for the most part. Most FB friends, church friends, etc. don't know I'm having it next week. I'm not unashamed of having it, but I guess I'm afraid there will be people who will criticize me for choosing to have it, even though my cardiologist says if I don't get my blood pressure lowered soon I'm going to have a stroke.

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I told anybody that would listen, lol. I had to get the criticism out of the way.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using RNYTalk

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I am going back and forth on the issue as well. for now, I only told my wife and my mom. I think i will keep it at that for now. I feel like I dont owe anybody an explanation. I have a feeling, however, that once i start to lose weight, i will probably tell more people. and especially, others that i know could benefit from it.

also, i think of it like this: they are risks associated with the surgery, but the what are the risks for NOT getting the surgery? the risks of continuing the way i am outweigh those of surgery. good luck for whatever you decide.

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This surgery is a most for me my Blood Pressure is out of control and I don't want to have another stroke. I only told my mom and my kids they are 22 and 18 I didn't tell my dad because he worries and he does not need the stress of worring because he's sick. For the others I feel its non of there business.

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I just told my hubby and BF since she had GBP last year and one other friend. Not telling anyone else for now. Probably my mom afterwards. Don't want her to worry until its over.

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I started to be the same way, I didn't want a lot of people to know. But through this journey I have learned that I am proud of my decision to change my lifestyle. I don't care what people think but as of tight now I haven found any one who has criticized me to my face. I knew people would be suspicious so if they ask I tell them. Don't be afraid of what people think, most of us have spent our lives worrying what people think of us being over weight, so why should we worry if we are working hard to change it.

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I didn't tell anyone. Not sure if I will. My husband is the only one who knows.

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You owe no one explanation in what you do to your body. It's like going around saying I just had sex.

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I have only told a few closest to me people.. Have received enough comments from them. Hard to get others to understand where you are coming from and why you made the decision.

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My husband and MIL know, I told one BFF and she was super supportive (has actually been my cheerleader!) then went to tell another BFF and did not get a welcome response, That made me gun shy. So I stopped telling anyone. Built up my courage again, told a GF whom I babysit for and found out that she had it done herself 3 years ago, however did not stick to it and has managed to put back on all her weight. Now I hear all the negatives from her and her husband every day I go over to watch their children. So back to being gun shy. I have evaluated my circle and realize, I have told the important people, so when I start loosing the weight, the folks who ask, will get the "portion control and low carbs" story, if they press, then I will go further, but am not offering it up first thing.

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To me I follow Dr. Seuss:

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

I have been a people pleaser most of my life and it took me a long time to get to this place. I hope this helps you all.

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Heres the deal u have come this far for your health, its time to be open with yourself. I told everyone just because it announced my new upcoming life journey and real talk you will find out which people are on your team. The ones who judge you are the ones you can do wothout, support is key. I unfortunately had no one that stuck by me however I have always been able to rely on me. Figure out now who your weakest links are and cut em loose!

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I hear you...I also do t want to hear negativity ATM. Told my husband and mum....maybe after everything I may tell people who really do care...

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I have talked to my family and close friends. I wanted the people I am close to to know. I need that support. I have not told anyone at work yet, including the boss. Not sure what I am going to say once I get my date. I'm guessing ill probably tell my boss, but not really wanting to...

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Snow... I know how you feel. If I get a date I'm not sure what to tell my boss. She's awesome but the whole team are like sticks. I'm twice their size. I know I shouldn't be do vain but I'm embarrassed right now. I hope I get strong like the other folks here. Good luck

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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