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Some of you may have run across one or more of my posts where I refer to “life style changes” as the Prime Directive. We’ve all heard it – “Bariatric surgery is just a tool. Long term success depends on life style changes.” But I wonder how many of us have given serious thought to what “life style changes” really means. What are the implications? How do we incorporate the Prime Directive into the myriad of decisions that we will make as we travel the path toward achieving our goal? What criteria must be met that will ensure that the decisions we make are consistent with the Prime Directive?

· Sustainability – “life style changes” are, by definition, long term. I cringe every time I read a post where someone says “I’m three months out and eating about 500 to 600 calories a day.” That is not healthy. It’s not a life style change. And it’s not sustainable.

· Compatibility - Success is not synonymous with suffering. I recently commented in a post “Five years of moderate exercise is much more valuable than five weeks of trying to be a hero.” Most of us have the ability (and the temptation) to take diet or exercise to the extreme – bad idea. If we hate doing that five mile walk, or following that 600 calorie a day diet, or failing to participate in that holiday meal – we simply will not continue that in the long run. Life is supposed to be fun. You deserve to be happy. Successful life style changes means giving ourselves permission to Celebrate a moderate exercise routine, to eat a healthy number of calories every day, and to enjoy a special occasion with family and friends. Thoughtful restraint is always a success – mindless denial or pursuing an exercise goal that is beyond your personal limits will fail every time.

· Realistic expectations - At the heart of every life style change is a realistic expectation. Again and again and again I see folks agonizing over their failure to lose “X” pounds a week, or going a whole week without losing any weight, or frustrated because they don’t see an immediate response to a change they have made in their diet or exercise. Unrealistic expectations are unquestionably a major source of stress for many and may well be the single biggest contributing factor that causes some to fail. We’re all individuals and we’re all different. There are no absolutes. Do your part in following the protocol your doctor gave you and then allow your body to find its own way, in its own time. Expect there to be bumps in the road and above all else remember that patience is not only a virtue, it’s a necessity.

There is no “one size fits all” answer to the question of how we go about identifying and then incorporating life style changes. But if we remember that they must be sustainable, compatible with our strengths and capabilities, and based on realistic expectations, we have a solid foundation for the Prime Directive.

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Well said!!

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Wow, beautifully said. It amazes me how we forget that we did not become obese overnight and we will definetly not loose it that way either. How easy it is to say I will never with conviction when there is no bigger truth than never say never. If we would only concentrate on the Journey and be grateful we are here for the ride and everything we learn on a daily basis it would be a much more pleasant ride!

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Well said as always! I am striving for this. I have chosen to walk on some nature trails in my town. We have turned it to a family thing and tonight my daughter brought a friend. I want to be daily motion to be easy and a part of our family fabric. I'm looking forward to incorporating more healthy choices as food is reintroduced again do I can be a better role model for my kids.

Thanks for the motivation!

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While I agree with what you said completely DL, it can't stop the nagging feeling that I should be doing more. I am trying but I can't run on the treadmill (walk at a quick pace for 30 minutes)and I can't do the elliptical for more than 15 min. I have tried. I feel sick and dizzy. But if I could maybe I would lose weight faster. Who knows....I didn't become over 400 lbs overnight. And I have lost 68 lbs since pre surgery lifestyle change in May. I want to succeed.

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Bekki, it sounds to me like you're doing absolutely fantastic! Remember - realistic, sustainable expectations. I started walking on a treadmill for 20 minutes at a time. Slowly worked my way up. Eventually I got bored with the treadmill so I started walking in the neighborhood. Eventually got bored with that and decided to walk in a park close to my home. The park turned out to be the ticket for me. I've slowly increased my walking from 20 minutes to about an hour and three miles - four to five times a week.

Every time I've increased my exercise goal, I set it to something that I knew I could do. Every time. If I do more, great. But I believe that it is so important to set realistic goals that you are confident you can accomplish AND Celebrate accomplishing them every time! It is so much more realistic, sustainable, and just plain fun when you choose to live your life celebrating your successes than it is to live your life always choosing "the nagging feeling that I should be doing more". Notice that I said "choose" because that's exactly what it is, a choice. I know exactly how you feel. I am a perfectionist by nature and I have to fight it every day. But with practice you can make the choice to feel good about yourself and to enjoy every delicious moment of all of the great things you are accomplishing. Make the choice! You're gonna love the new you!!

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

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      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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