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My Life, Hopes, and Dreams OVER!!!



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Hi all,

Thanks so much for all your replies and support from all my posts in the past weeks. This is my last post because I was not able to get a loan or be financed w/a co-signer to have surgery in Mexico. My credit is so bad that I wouldn't be able to get a loan for 10 bucks, much less $8500. I do not have credit cards or rich family members, etc. I will not ever be able to save up for this since I want it this year or better... NOW!

I can't sell my car, cuz it has a low resale value. It is almost paid off too. Nothing is out there for me financially.

I wanted so badly to eventually get off my CPAP machine for my sleep apnea and get off some of my medications etc. I REFUSE to jump through the hoops to go through trying to get surgery with my insurance(which has an exclusion). All of the freakin' appts. with this and that doctor...FORGET IT! Started that once and stopped because of another health issue that I needed surgery for.

Anyways, I will never forget any of you. Keep up the good work and maybe all those thoughts of dying in the last year is haunting me already. :phanvan :think

Peace,

Judy

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Wow. I wish I had something more supportive to say. Remember, Einstein failed over 100 times trying to develop his Theory of Relativity. If it truly is your life's hopes and dreams, I would think you would be willing to do whatever it takes and not give up. You have at least 35 years left to go to this dr. and that dr. Would you rather look back in 35 years and wish you had or be glad you didn't? I am a cancer survivor. I had to fight for my right to stay here on this earth. I view every day as special and would not let anything stand in the way of something I wanted. I wish you strength and patience.

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Please do not measure your life by this pending band by saying your life, hopes and dreams are over. That can not be true.

Just look at this as a side step for right now. Right NOW you can not get a loan; but you can do alot of things to work toward a healthier you, while waiting maybe a year for your credit to improve. OR...during that time, while making healthy choices alone - you can get back on the journey of doctor visits; and fight the insurance company. I know it's a huge undertaking...but do not despair. You ended the journey b/c of other health issues. Can you now continue the journey at this point?

I'm sorry I can't say more to help. I just feel horrible and feel the pain in your post. Hopes and dreams don't end with a rejected loan application. You can't let that happen to yourself!

Remember, when one doors closes, an another one opens - ALWAYS.

Good luck.

Sheri Lynn:)

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Judy, wish there was something I could do to help you. I hope in the future your circumstances change so you can get banded. Best of luck.

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don't be so down..... yes it is a huge disappoitment, but there is no reason why you can't still work towards it........

as someone mentioned already, there are other things you can do to help yourself...... the band is just a tool, not a miracle......

i had found the band many years ago online..... at that time it was only done overseas..... as a student there was no way i could afford to fly to europe to have a surgery....... over time i saved up and it came to canada.......

there is a reason for everything......i dont know you or your condition, but if your on a cpap.... u must have health issues..... perhaps you were saved from surgical complications that could have arised at this time......

there is no reason to give up... keep fighting..... life is sweet.

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Judy, I can't begin to say I know how you feel because I don't. I can only share that abyss of disappointment from being rejected three times. I can only tell you that I have it in my mind that I will get this done. Come hell or high Water I am going to have this done. I simply will not stop until I have this done. A friend told me to check for university departments doing research looking for candidates for gastric surgery. That's one of the things I am looking into, meanwhile, I am going to my insurance committee for my employer and educating them. The policy they bought has an exclusion, so many exclusions that it reads like a "fat people need not apply" application. It is very frustrating and hurtful to feel like there isn't an answer. There is one, you keep going. Don't quit.

**I think of years ago when obese people had no other options. Then along came scientists and doctors who didn't quit and they came up with a remedy, another option. Over time it has progressed into one of the successful options for us. Unfotunately, like the internet, it's going to take the rest of the world some time to catch up.

Sending you peaceful vibes, love and harmony. Know that you are not alone.

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asthe band is just a tool, not a miracle......

there is a reason for everything......i dont know you or your condition, but if your on a cpap.... u must have health issues..... perhaps you were saved from surgical complications that could have arised at this time......

there is no reason to give up... keep fighting..... life is sweet.

This is perfect. I believe that everything happens for a reason as well. I now believe that I was not meant to go to the surgeon I initially consulted with. He has done gastric bypass, is very pro GB, and has not done many Lap Bands. I think my wait has been to find the others who have done the procedure. I have.

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i would start working on repairing your credit asap. there are so many things you can do yourself! google credit repair or go to the bookstore. it isn't an easy process - i have been working on my credit repair for over a year now and still have to get my student loans off. if you can't afford it now, that doesn't mean you won't be able to next year! getting it done is what matters... i'm in a similar boat - i want it done NOW, but keep hitting road blocks. *HUG*

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do you have a tax refund coming up that you could use as a 'down payment'? sometimes a loan will get approved for a lesser amount or if you have a percentage to put down on the expense.

i have been in horrible financial straits before and i did a few things that helped:

I sold things like crazy on ebay. clothes especially (fat girl clothes sell well!)

I clipped and sold coupons (believe it or not people out there will buy multiples)

I worked at night (didn't have a little one at the time)

I cut grass for people (damn near killed me, but I made some money)

I saved change and cashed it for savings.

don't give up; set a small goal first: $500. then more and more. don't give up!

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I am so sorry you are feeling like you have to give up . I do understand your frustration. I was very frustrtated at first when i came on the boards when I was asking about self pay , everyone's answer( No offense to anyone everyone was trying to help ) was " Get it financed" . But we are a yr out of chapter 7 bankcrupcy so financing on our own was out of the question.

Cosigners are not always helpful in that sitution as well.

it seemed like every option someone gave me was something I couldnt do .

Im getting the money now from a job my husband is doing ( we own our own company ) .

this might be an idea for you though.

I at first was cleaning houses to save up for the money , I live in Austin TX , an area where its in demand. I placed in ad in the local small town paper and in 3 days had 6 houses to clean. I was making about a$1500 a month. Had i taken on a few more i could have made about $3000 . So that might be something to look into even for weekends. Its rough work but I was willing to do it .

HTH

Mindy

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I am so sorry that you have hit what you feel is a dead end! I completely understand where you are coming from. I just found out last week that the surgery is now an exclusion in my coverage, only after being told 5 times that it WAS a covered benefit.

I haven't tried to get it financed yet. I am having a hard time trying to find extra money in our monthly budget to cover a loan payment.

I am really considering looking for a new job, maybe somewhere the surgery would be covered. Is that an option for you?

Good luck to you! Hang in there and try to take it one day at a time!

niki

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Thank you all for all the support and kind words...they made me teary eyed when reading each and every one. I know I shouldn't give up, but I want this sooo bad I dream about being in Mexico with Dr. Ortiz and staff. My credit is severly awful. I owe mega taxes every year for the past few years because I have had no federal taxes taken out because of claiming more just to keep up with garnishments and car payments. I am almost done paying off my car, but don't dare sell it since I would never get another one. It's a KIA, so it wouldn't be worth much anyways...LOL

I love it though.

You all are so wonderful here and I so thank you very much for your love and support! What really put me over the edge is the lapbandforum.com(Dr. Ortiz) forum that had pics from a member that showed her arriving there with her friend, and going through the tests and right into the operating room and showed a beautiful view from her hotel room. It is wonderful and I WANT TO EXPERIENCE IT!!! I would go alone if I had to. Someday!

Thanks again everyone...I will never forget you or this board!

HUGS!

Judy

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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