So this last month or so I've really been through with most of my appointments except the pre op and as the date gets closer and closer I am having boughts of nervous energy about it. Thoughts of "am I sure I cannot do this on my own" and "I know I am surrounded by people (online and at work) that have had amazing experiences but there was that one story where she died and that other story where that guy wasnt able to drink anything for days"... I've never had surgery before and I've always wondered what being put under was like but what if I turn out like that lady on Oprah who had surgery and was asleep but was really awake during the whole thing but couldnt say anything? Its all very noisy in my head about this sometimes.

Also has anyone else noticed that people sometimes SHUT DOWN when you try to talk to them about this? It's the weirdest thing to me... people I am close with, when I tell them I get such a lukewarm reaction. I am not expecting a parade or anything but I do tend to think that if you care about me you would at least look up from the game you're playing to get some specifics and not just pretend I am going in for a simple checkup when in actuality I am having major abdominal surgery. And also the most unexpected people have been the most open and supportive.

Do you think I am totally within my right mind to use this experience to gauge who in my life is important and who needs reevaluation?

Alan

I had that same problem with my family and friends. They did NOT want to hear my "negative" thoughts about the surgery. When really, how is it negative? In any major surgery there is a risk of death. It may be extremely rare but it's still a risk. And yes, the most unlikely people do tend to be the ones that care the most. I think that's because the people who love you the most may be in denial. Or I could just be rambling.

I had all of those thoughts about my surgery too. I was scared of waking up in the middle of it, or with a breathing tube in, or a leak but funny enough I just couldn't stop smiling the day of surgery. I wanted to get it over with because I waited too long and I was excited. Everyone came to speak with me before sending me to the OR and I got a lot of reassurance and support from my team. Also, they gave me a "alcoholic drink" before surgery. I was sooo relaxed in that OR I am pretty sure I was slurring and was like, "Lets do this!!!"

They don't want you to panic or be afraid, though it's expected. I believe all hospitals give you that relaxer but I could be wrong.

Also, think of the future. Be aware of the risks but imagine how much healthier you will be. Imagine how much happier you will be. Imagine you running marathons and looking good in jeans and not being tired all day.

And yes, it is very understanding that you are using this to re-evaluate who is in your life. I did the same thing.

^{Everything you are feeling is normal! I promise because I felt all those emotions. My doctor calmed me down and said you are more likely to get in a major wreck in I-35 coming to the hospital (aka as the worst highway ever!) then to die from this surgery. Is there risks, ofcourse. With any surgery even wisdom teeth removal. They are low and the risk of being overweight and dying of co-morbility is higher. These emotional will go up and down as surgery gets closer and closer! Think of what lead you to this and focus on that. As far as being put under it went like this I was wheeled into the OR and was freezing! Everyone introduced themselves got me on the table and Dr. Feel Good said I am going to put a little something in your IV to relax you. I blinked and woke up in PACU. I felt and remembered nothing! Recovery was not fun but I was not expecting to be and after a week I was ok still a little sore. After 3 weeks I was fine, tired mainly, not sore. Six weeks out I physcially feel I never had surgery. As for family it may be their way of coping. My husband was kinda like that with me. He was just scared and didn't want to let on so he acted like it was no big deal. I found this out after surgery. When I was in PACU the nurse there said that man of yours must love you he called back here atleast 6 times to make sure you were ok! So cut them some slack and don't let their feeling or lack of take away from your choice to have or not have surgery. Good luck!}

I changed the font and it still came out little! Hope you can read it I barely could see what I was typing!

I decided to go to Mexico on my own 9 days before my surgery date and everything was done superfast, no one I knew really supported me either.People I met online and called often supported me and told me it was the best decision of my life and it'll go well...etc.

I don't know if this will make you feel better but awareness (consciousness) during general anesthesia is so rare these days in modern OR's it's practically impossible. The anesthetic cocktail they give you has drugs that put you to sleep and drugs that keep you asleep and wipe out short term memory. The anesthesiologist monitors your vitals and brain activity throughout the operation and adjust the IV's accordingly. The odds are astronomical that you'd wake up while in surgery, but even if you did, you wouldn't form a memory of it anyway. Given all of this, I have my doubts about people who claim they remember being conscious during surgery. Especially those who seek fame on TV shows.

As for friends and family shutting down as your date approaches, maybe it's worry - maybe it's compassion fatigue, hard to say. But once they see how well you will do they will sing it's praises. One of my close work friends who lost weight on her own and mostly kept it off was very unsupportive of my decision pre-op, but now I am down 52 lbs in less than 3 months and every time she sees me she's in awe. At the end of the day, you are doing this for yourself and undoubtedly once you start to really recover you will feel it's the best choice you could have made. You'll be confident and others will take notice.

I was really worred before surgery, too. It's normal to be anxious about major surgery. My experience: the anesthesiologist gave put me on an IV and then gave me some morphine in the IV which really relaxed me. The nurses put a patch behind my ear and a band on my wrist for nausea. In the OR they had me get on the table and they put warm blankets on me. The OR table was at a slight angle with my head higher than my feet. They said they were giving me something in my IV to make me relax some more and I was out. I woke up in recovery, groggy and in pain. But once I was in my room and on the morphine pump I was better. I didn't get nauseous at all after.