Divorce rate..post op

[debmd 5]

Just for the record my husband of 24 years has been saying that he thinks I am going to lose weight and leave him. He is insecure because he has had me a certain way for many years. I think the surgery is only going to make both of our lives better.

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,145]

If you're done then you're done. But don't blame him for not being in the same place you are.

Own it.

[newcocoame 54]

Thanks for the feedback! I can't type everything I've been thru, but I made this choice. Surgery does not equal divorce!!! It has to be some issues beforehand. Just my opinion!

[newcocoame 54]

Finger twists...

[Alyjourneys 117]

You've already checked out of this relationship and it appears you are trying to blame him to justify your already decided mind. Btw 170 on a 5'10 man is not fat. Do him the favor and leave him so he can be with someone that will love him for him. Also, take your time in your next relationship before having another kid. They are the ones who suffer.

[newcocoame 54]

You've already checked out of this relationship and it appears you are trying to blame him to justify your already decided mind. Btw 170 on a 5'10 man is not fat. Do him the favor and leave him so he can be with someone that will love him for him. Also' date=' take your time in your next relationship before having another kid. They are the ones who suffer.[/quote']

My complaint was not my husband's size and we don't have kids. He is fit. I think you meant this post for the other lady who started the thread. Quote works...good night!!,

[Mrs.FullerRN 189]

You've already checked out of this relationship and it appears you are trying to blame him to justify your already decided mind. Btw 170 on a 5'10 man is not fat. Do him the favor and leave him so he can be with someone that will love him for him. Also' date=' take your time in your next relationship before having another kid. They are the ones who suffer.[/quote']

Meh you must have misread. I was saying

he is unhappy with his appearance yet will not make a single change to better it. I'm actually very physically attracted to him, we have three children together, I'm not checked out or else I would just divorce him, and your attempt to be hurtful was moot. I posted this because I wanted to know if these feelings are normal as you go through the process. I think someone having a stagnant personality would be a problem for many. I'm not some horrible, superficial b****. I just know that the post wls divorce rate is higher than the general population and I wanted to know if this is why.

[newcocoame 54]

Meh you must have misread. I was saying

he is unhappy with his appearance yet will not make a single change to better it. I'm actually very physically attracted to him' date=' we have three children together, I'm not checked out or else I would just divorce him, and your attempt to be hurtful was moot. I posted this because I wanted to know if these feelings are normal as you go through the process. I think someone having a stagnant personality would be a problem for many. I'm not some horrible, superficial b****. I just know that the post wls divorce rate is higher than the general population and I wanted to know if this is why.[/quote']

I fully understand your posts. However, my divorce was before surgery. My surgery is Sept. 10th. Marriage is hard work and it is way more than we can type on here. You can vent and PM me. It's on our minds so much bc we are holding on and trying to do best. No judgements from me...it is hard! Have a fabulous day!

[JessicaAnn 564]

Ok, I only have a Hs diploma so I'm going to try and not take that as an insult..

But anyway, when my husband and I got together I was a cheerleader with an awesome body. Over the past 4 years, between 2 kids and depression, I've put on 120ish lbs! He's still 6' 180lbs with a chiseled body. He loves me no matter what. He's never once tried to change me.

Have you communicated to him how you feel? Have you tried counseling? Especially with kids in the picture, don't be so quick to quit.

[ms.k 20]

WARNING-- since I had the sleeve (2 months ago) my emotions have been so out-of-wack and have been so up and down in my relationship of 17 years. If you aren't happy now, good luck!! This emotional rollercoaster is no joke, and I wish you the best of luck. Hope your husband jumps on the band wagon with you, cause you will need the emotional support... I love my man... but he was supposed to try to loose weight with me, now I know I've got 1 up on him, as I cant eat ****, but he eats so much n seems to never stop... I look at his stomach and it seems to get bigger by the day. I don't love him any less for that, but I need him healthy so we can be happy together!! I agree with another post-- men are like children.... hard headed... babies!! Good Luck!!

[newcocoame 54]

Thanks for the insight,everyone.

[Patti K 98]

Men can be babies. And they don't like change. My man is so unsure of where he will fit in to my thinner life (we got together 18 months ago and I was fat then too) and he is giving me a lot of push back and no support...but it is HIS fear of losing me that is closing him off. Your man may joke about his MAN TITS as a way to make you feel better about your weight. He may not necessarily feel that he needs to change but wants you to know he isn't perfect either. Let him know his conplaining isn't helping but stressing you instead. Have a good long talk with him. I had to. And so far (we actually broke up overnight a few nights ago) he has been more supportive.

[nyorker 67]

These man tits?? Lol i get release in one hour.

[gamergirl 4,609]

Men can be babies? Men are like children? If someone said this about women we'd be outraged and call them sexist. Just sayin'.

[JessicaAnn 564]

Men can be babies? Men are like children? If someone said this about women we'd be outraged and call them sexist. Just sayin'.

I can only speak for my man but he can definitely be a baby lol. I had a csection, was taking care of a newborn, caught bronchitis and still did what I had to.. when my husband has the sniffles, it's crippling and he has to be catered to lol.