Divorce rate..post op

[buplee 556]

As a guy and a good husband and father, I take exception to how easy it is for some women to generalize and lump most guys into one bucket, of emotionally bankrupt whiny little babies. I'm sure that just as some guys are not great partners, the same can be said for some women. I have had several serious surgeries in the last 6 years and have yet another to face, but I am not whining about it. My wife, family and I are dealing with it head on. If a significant other is not cutting work on getting things resolved or move on. That should be the case no matter what the sex of the person. Just as I hate men being portrayed as buffoons on tv, I hate that some us get bashed by our mates as well.

[JessicaAnn 564]

As a guy and a good husband and father' date=' I take exception to how easy it is for some women to generalize and lump most guys into one bucket, of emotionally bankrupt whiny little babies. I'm sure that just as some guys are not great partners, the same can be said for some women. I have had several serious surgeries in the last 6 years and have yet another to face, but I am not whining about it. My wife, family and I are dealing with it head on. If a significant other is not cutting work on getting things resolved or move on. That should be the case no matter what the sex of the person. Just as I hate men being portrayed as buffoons on tv, I hate that some us get bashed by our mates as well.[/quote']

Not sure if this was directed to me for saying my husband is a baby when he's sick..

But I never said he wasn't an awesome husband or father, because he is. I just stated the truth, that he doesn't handle being sick well AT ALL. It doesn't make me love him less or think of him any less.

[Fat Pat no more 89]

WARNING-- since I had the sleeve (2 months ago) my emotions have been so out-of-wack and have been so up and down in my relationship of 17 years. If you aren't happy now' date=' good luck!! This emotional rollercoaster is no joke, and I wish you the best of luck. Hope your husband jumps on the band wagon with you, cause you will need the emotional support... I love my man... but he was supposed to try to loose weight with me, now I know I've got 1 up on him, as I cant eat ****, but he eats so much n seems to never stop... I look at his stomach and it seems to get bigger by the day. I don't love him any less for that, but I need him healthy so we can be happy together!! I agree with another post-- men are like children.... hard headed... babies!! Good Luck!![/quote']

I relate to this. My husband and I have been married for 34 yrs I love him now more than ever. He's a lot more over wt than I. It seems like now that I trying to have this surgery he is eating more than ever and he's a big eater. He supports my surgery and I love him even more for it. But I do wish he would try to improve his health too. But no matter what we r in this together. 34 years a go we said I do and if I ran every time it got hard I wouldn't have lasted 1 year. It was for better or worse we've had a enough of the worse so I'm working on the rest being better. I'm not asking for or wanting reasons to or not to myself I love this man and I have my faults too. Which he by the way has put up with for over 30 years too. I'm just gonna try and set a better example for him and pray for him even more than I already do.

[Fat Pat no more 89]

And he can be a baby when he's sick. But then I knew that BEFOR I married him.

[Richard Foor 655]

I believe divorce post op may be because when someone decides to have the surgery and lose weight they greatly improve their self image, as such they may realize the things they had been willing to put up with in the past and as such see the problems that have always been there in their marriage. This was the case for me, before surgery I was willing to let my ex walk all over me, even forgiving her for having cheated on me, but now I realize I deserve to be treated better then a door mat, and as such it was time to move on and hope for better tomorrows. I would never encourage anyone to rush into a decision as important as divorce but everyone needs to make sure they are being treated the way they deserve to be. Good Luck.

[Kennedy 100]

I am a big girl. Was a big girl when I married my husband. He loves me for me. I love him for him. He is short, chunky and hairy. Over the course of our marriage he has had 2 kidney transplants and open heart surgery. He is 49. He has raised my daughter better than her biological dad could ever have. Some days I don't like him. I do, however, love him. He is always there for me. If I cry, he cries too. It breaks his heart to think something hurt me. There us nothing he wouldn't do for me. And there's nothing I wouldn't do for him. I would never leave him, no matter what I look like. None of us look the saw as we did when we married. Aging stinks. But it happens. Before you give up, look inside this man. He is still the man you married, the one you loved. The one who loved you. Try to reconnect to this. Maybe he's feeling a little scared that you are looking good. Maybe he is worried he isn't good enough for you.

[Heather Meyer 103]

Insecurities my friends...insecurity in a relationship is a killer...somtimes as a spouse we do not know just how insecure we are or how insecure are spouse is...pre surgery we may have built a relationship with someone on top of some buried insecurities...we go through marriage feeling secure...thinking life is great and there is nothing that could shake a marriage up...then suegery or major change or transition and all of the sudden we see a transparency in are spouse and in ourselves regarding our own personal beliefs of who we think we are and who we love..love truly is blind my friends..it makes it harder to see true colors until its shaken..

[newcocoame 54]

Insecurities my friends...insecurity in a relationship is a killer...somtimes as a spouse we do not know just how insecure we are or how insecure are spouse is...pre surgery we may have built a relationship with someone on top of some buried insecurities...we go through marriage feeling secure...thinking life is great and there is nothing that could shake a marriage up...then suegery or major change or transition and all of the sudden we see a transparency in are spouse and in ourselves regarding our own personal beliefs of who we think we are and who we love..love truly is blind my friends..it makes it harder to see true colors until its shaken..

Heather, beautiful post. Thanks for sharing. Tragedies can change people.

[buplee 556]

No

[buplee 556]

Not sure if this was directed to me for saying my husband is a baby when he's sick..

But I never said he wasn't an awesome husband or father' date=' because he is. I just stated the truth, that he doesn't handle being sick well AT ALL. It doesn't make me love him less or think of him any less.[/quote']

No, it was not directed at you. I was read the thread and saw a number of women bashing men, which is a trigger for me. There is bad behavior in both sexes, but it seems that some women take great pleasure in bashing the male species because of the misdeeds of their particular man.

[buplee 556]

Not sure if this was directed to me for saying my husband is a baby when he's sick..

But I never said he wasn't an awesome husband or father' date=' because he is. I just stated the truth, that he doesn't handle being sick well AT ALL. It doesn't make me love him less or think of him any less.[/quote']

No, it was not directed at you. I was read the thread and saw a number of women bashing men, which is a trigger for me. There is bad behavior in both sexes, but it seems that some women take great pleasure in bashing the male species because of the misdeeds of their particular man.

[Snow 86]

Good GAWD I'm crawling back underneath my bed! Just WOW!

[newcocoame 54]

The entire premise of this thread was about divorce rates increasing after bariatric surgery. People shared their individual situations and no one referred to ALL men as being bad. Each person has different experiences,tragedies,marriages, and opinions. Have a wonderful weekend! It's Friday!

[Alyjourneys 117]

Is it just me or does the divorce rate of post extreme weight loss people seem high? I find myself thinking about divorce as I go through this process because I am constantly on the grind to better myself for my family...psychically' date=' mentally, educationally...this man is not. He's perfectly happy with his high school diploma and man tits...blah[/quote']

I'm sorry, I wasnt trying to hurt anyone's feelings. But this post clearly contradicts what you just posted to me. You state he isn't happy on your last post but here is. When you write a post, you open the doors to comments. It's how it goes. With that said, I was just stating my opinion to which I'm entitled too. I'm not hurt when someone doesn't see eye to eye with me.

[Alyjourneys 117]

My complaint was not my husband's size and we don't have kids. He is fit. I think you meant this post for the other lady who started the thread. Quote works...good night!!' date='[/quote']

It wasn't for you and I was specific about what she wrote so I'm not sure why you assumed this was for you. Good night!!!!!