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Scared Shitless-8 years out banded rapidly gaining weight
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Ready for some RAW confessions-I have spent the last 8 years living (or dying to be thin) with my band. For the most part I have lived a life of chronic vomiting, severe restriction, with a trade off of loosing 190 lbs at one point. About two years ago, my weight has been creeping up, at 6ft tall I can hide pounds pretty easily...but after 20 lbs the battle was on. At 205 I started to panic and got a trainer, and really watched my food. For the most part, because I could not eat alot without vomiting...I was always eating. And because I was always vomiting, I thought I could eat whatever I wanted...because I would throw it up after all. On June 15th of this year, I managed to gain 10 lbs over a weekend. I thought this is crazy, what is happening with my body? I found a trainer, and began working out every day...still doing my daily gig of eating and vomiting. Well, I went to see a new PCP, and admitted to my band problems and concern with weight gain at very high rates. All labs have come out normal...and I thought this is it, I am going to eat well and get my life in control...so off I went for my first upper GI since banded...and guess what, total restriction, nothing getting through & my esophagous was 3 times the size it should be. The radiologist was wonderful, and being a Clinical Nurse Specialist I am pretty wise in medical stuff, and can talk my way (or manipulate) through most things. So I told him I would go get it assessed and unfilled. I did, I was following the rules to be healthy. I weighed in at 207 (working out, eating well) and was actually really excited to eat normal for the first time in 8 years. I felt like I was freed from survivor and off the island and could eat! I guzzled water, I ate...and did not binge but enjoyed every meal. On Monday getting ready for work, my pants were TIGHT...got on the scale and in FIVE days gained 23 lbs. I freaked, called my PCP, ran blood work, all normal. I had a theory my fat cells were trying to blow up again. Yesterday I met with a new surgeon and he confirmed that exactly that....that my body was trying like hell to reset to 360lbs. SO my question for you all, can you relate to anything I am saying? I am scared to death, crying, sobbing and grieving this weight nightmare. He has recommended a conversion to the sleeve...Please help me understand the good & the bad? He went ahead and filled me with 2.5 cc to stop the rapid weight gain...and so now my puking has resumed. I have never been so open about my experience, but I am ready to live again...and cannot believe I have destroyed my metabolism...I thank you in advance for your help.