I am a future Mexico self pay sleever.

I was originally scheduled for March 9th but had to reschedule. I got extremely sick and the doctor's could not find anything wrong. I did not want to go through surgery not knowing why I was hurting and sick. I rescheduled my surgery for July 27th.

In the meantime I started thinking and worrying more and more about my daughter's weight. She is 14 and been overweight for 2 years. She is 5`3 and weighs 248. She has tried to diet and exercise but has a very hard time losing weight. The doctors can't find anything to stop her from losing medically.

She is starting a new school, in a new city this year after going to the same school her whole life. She is terrified of being made fun of. I also don't want her to deal with all the side effects of being overweight. I know I don't have to list the side effects on here, just think of your own personal experiences.

About a month ago I contacted my doctor, Dr. Garcia, and sent him her medical info. He accepted her for surgery even though she is very young. I changed our dates to August 10th, paid her deposit, and booked the flights for us.

Now, I am having second thoughts. I am terrified of taking my young daughter to another country for surgery. I don't know if I am being pro-active and stopping this before it gets out of hand or letting her give up on losing weight on her own. Then I start thinking that her life has barely started and I am forever altering her. My mind is just racing with thoughts.

She is very excited about the surgery though.

I need some advice from people who have had surgery, from parents, or anyone else who wants to respond.

I think it would be worth it to have a psych eval even if not required. My dr will do adolescents but usually they are 16 and up. I was like your daughter, about the same size. Not sure I would have been mature enough to handle it then.

I have not made up my mind at all. I was just answering questions.

My daughter has not been to a psychologist for this but she does see one regularly becauae she suffers from severe shyness.

I did talk to her psychologist about this a little and she thinks she will be okay for surgery and she thinks it will help alot for her shyness.

She is of course a child psychologist and does not do WLS evals.

I have a daughter and somehow, she did not end up with the same issues with food that her mother did.

That said, if she did and was in the same situation as your daughter, I would want to provide her the best possible life. Maybe, you should talk to her pediatrician and find a therapist to help you make this decision. At least then you know you made the most informed choice with the help of professionals and not strangers on a forum.

Obesity is a disease. We all know that. Saying that she should try other options first, it is so hard when each of us has ridden that rollercoaster so many times to end up here.

I do not envy this decision but think your daughter is very lucky to have you as her mom.

I have not made up my mind at all. I was just answering questions.

My daughter has not been to a psychologist for this but she does see one regularly becauae she suffers from severe shyness.

I did talk to her psychologist about this a little and she thinks she will be okay for surgery and she thinks it will help alot for her shyness.

She is of course a child psychologist and does not do WLS evals.

Please know that this surgery takes a lot of commitment and sacrifices I would ask you to put more thought into it.

I have a teenage daughter... I know how she is when she wants or "needs" something.

Bring her to a therapist that specializes in disordered eating... Talk to her PCP and perhaps do the surgery first so you can prepare her for what's to come. Because believe me there is a lot to come!

About her being "approved" by Garcia?

I'm sorry but at the end of the day she's just money to him..

This is definitely the hardest decision.

Her doctor has really not given an opinion on wls. She has done dier pills, diet programs, weight watchers, all the stuff we have all done but she has no results. The doctors cant find a reason why but she doesn't lose weight.

I am just torn. Idw her to have to go through high school suffering and have to do this at 18 anyway and all that could have been prevented.

On the other hand I dont want to do the surgery and she cant handle it and winds up worse than she is.

Its just horrible.

I feel for you, and her. I know what it's like to be an overweight teen... I'm so glad that your really thinking about all the possibilities...

I really think a therapist that specializes in eating disorders would be a great FIRST step.

I say that because the sleeve in itself is not a cure either and she will need to work out her issues around food regardless. There are plenty of people here that are sleeved and are still struggling with overeating and eating the wrong foods for the wrong reasons..

So the therapy that I'm suggesting is only to help her make those steps then perhaps down the road just a bit longer she can choose the sleeve.

I don't think we r being incentive hve u thought about when she comes home what if something happens and there r no peds with wls expertise? No wls doc might not want to touch to her. Which one is the mom? Or is this just a plant I think so

What do you mean which one is the mom and is this a plant?

I dont understand what you mean, sorry.

Good luck to u both

If u are suggesting I am not real, I assure you I am.

I have been posting on here since February.

I understand the pain your daughter is feeling. I was the same way. Missed 43 days my freshman year of high school because I hated the way I looked. I didn't make the best choices and even didn't reach my potential in school all because I didn't want anyone seeing me. If she has a genetic link to being overweight than all the diet and exercise in the world won't likely be successful long term. The sleeve can help her NOW and alleviate years of private humilaition of being obese. She may just blossom after that. I would do it for my daughter in a heart beat. There's no point in waiting until she's older and even more introverted. 14 year olds have babies. That is way harder than a sleeve. I will stand my ground on this one. You are her mother nobody else and I for one support you.

And who ever called you a plant is not being helpful. Why are so people getting all uppity on these forums? Now who is being judgemental? Shouldn't we understand intimately how it feels to be looked at as less than human because we are obese? It seems some of us are way too quick to judge and end up putting their big size 11wide foot in their mouths!

If u are suggesting I am not real' date=' I assure you I am.

I have been posting on here since February.[/quote']

Some here have gone off the deep end. Some are not sleeved yet and some are newly sleeved and haven't lived this life long enough to give a full picture... (Sorry that is MY opinion)

As a mother talking to another mother, wait just a bit do yours first. Really you will not be able to care for her like you should if you do it together.

Get some perspective let her get counseled on these issues then make the decision.

I understand the pain your daughter is feeling. I was the same way. Missed 43 days my freshman year of high school because I hated the way I looked. I didn't make the best choices and even didn't reach my potential in school all because I didn't want anyone seeing me. If she has a genetic link to being overweight than all the diet and exercise in the world won't likely be successful long term. The sleeve can help her NOW and alleviate years of private humilaition of being obese. She may just blossom after that. I would do it for my daughter in a heart beat. There's no point in waiting until she's older and even more introverted. 14 year olds have babies. That is way harder than a sleeve. I will stand my ground on this one. You are her mother nobody else and I for one support you.

I'm a therapist and have worked with kids for 20 yrs. I'm not saying I'm a know it all bc I certainly don't. But more of my patients were very damaged from being obese in early childhood development which spilled into adulthood and progressed into addiction and many other issues. I say break the cycle early...the earlier the better. Mom, you know mainly bc of genetics and experience that she doesn't have a shot in hell. As an addiction therapist I see so many addicts who would've done anything to have stopped the progression of the disease. And as an addict, bc of the genetic factor on both sides, I didn't stand a chance. If only I had known this at an early age maybe I would have never taken that first drink or hit. It's not about will power...if it was none of us would be here. It's about management and I have learned to use the sleeve to manage my addiction. Now, if I could only find a "sleeve" for drugs and alcohol...I wouldn't think twice! And by the way, I think 14 is a good age developmentally bc it may save her from a lifetime of trauma...which means therapy for life. Just my two cents. I have a daughter....a pretty hefty daughter big surprise. I think I would do everything I could to manage her disease. Good luck!