So tonight I ate one of those big costco bagels. It went down fine. And it was a weak moment. But I'm nervous at how much it takes to 'stretch' the sleeve? Would it typically happen from eating more than what makes you full just one time? Or would it require chronic 'eating more than your sleeve should hold' to stretch it out? Hoping I haven't done any damage. In my occasional weak moments, I will indulge until I'm overly full - which is something I am working on with a therapist and trying to get a grip on. It's not like I eat a foot long subway...but at my worst, I will maybe eat a half cup of chili, and then an hour later eat a full bagel with butter. I did that once (tonight) and wonder if I'm stretching my sleeve. Clearly this is not something I want to repeat. I have a child with a terminal illness and the stress just piles up sometimes - and I fold. It's tough to partner grief with self-discipline. But I'm trying and am being real and honest in an effort to get rid of this behavior.

Overall I'm doing pretty well, all things considered. I've lost 37 lbs in 2 months (inc. 1 week of the pre-op diet.) And I feel good about that. In general, I feel so much better and have more energy, and such a better attitude about life. It's just these tough moments that are hard to get through without food. I'm trying to keep trigger foods out of the house, but who knew a bagel would be a trigger food! My kids were eating them today and my mind just started turning in that direction. 'Oh man, that bagel looks good!' It's the night time when everyone's in bed and I'm alone that get to me. Those were my old 'pack the food in' times.

Thanks for the ear.

On a side note, I really like the "Thin" bagels by Sara Lee. Super thin, virtually no guts and 100 (110?) calories. I like this with a little of the Greek whipped cream cheese. Granted, I'm a year out and only just tried these a couple of weeks ago.

food is comfort' date=' food is always there, food makes us feel good, food helps us hide from our emotions - food is more than sustenance for most of the people here. Not everyone admits it to themselves, of course, but most of us have disordered eating.

I know the poster that OP is responding to here had good intentions. The people that have said the most hurtful things to me said them with good intentions (or so they tell themselves) but that doesn't make it any less insensitive.

Why are we all here? We are here because we wanted to extend our lives. We had a drastic surgery to lose weight and in most cases comorbids that were shortening our life spans. We do it to because facing our mortality and knowing that we're shortening our lives is scary and we want to change things.

Before anyone else who has not faced a similar situation says anything else unintentionally offensive or insensitive, I ask that people consider how they would cope if faced with not only their own, but their child's mortality on a daily basis. A terminal illness is difficult enough to endure when it is a grandparent, parent or a spouse, but YOUR CHILD? Every parent's worst fear is burying their child and for most people this is a remote, fringe thought - that thing you see in a movie that makes you tear up and gives you an opportunity to hug your kids before you FORGET and MOVE ON.

That is not the case for the OP. That is not the case for me, either. Until you have survived something like this and made it over to the other side, please do not pretend it's the same as eating because you got dumped, had a bad day at work, or your pet died. Losing a child, facing the impending loss of a child - that's one of the most terrible and painful things a person can endure in this life.

I can tell you, being fat is the least of this woman's worries. I applaud her efforts to stay on top of things and lose weight using the sleeve. I applaud her coming here to "confess" and get reassurance that this isn't a huge deal. It's not. She is not eating to help her son. She is probably eating because it makes her feel better, because it is an ingrained habit and because what else are you going to do? There is no escape from the pressures and stresses here.

OP, I'm thankful you have family, other children and a counselor to help you through.

This is not the end of the world. Not any of it. This is a minor hiccup and it's one that almost everyone faces - we all eat "badly" at one point or another; we all need to learn our sleeves limits and I've personally read hundreds of posts by people scared they'd stretch their sleeves with one poor choice.

You're fine. This is fine. This is small potatoes. Focus on more positive and soothing activities and don't let it become a habit and it will be perfectly fine.

Be well,

~Cheri[/quote']

^^^^ This. I have not experienced the loss of a child personally; however I have, as a nurse, been a part of the journey for many. Jograves, be kind to yourself, tomorrow is another day. Much love, prayers, and hugs for you and your precious family.