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I finally got my laptop virus killed so i can use it. Typing from the kindle was a bit tedious...

i have withheld comment on the addiction/suicide discussions because i guess like many, i have been touched by this as well. It is such a painful and difficult subject and I sometimes feel like many of us could be "addicts" so easily. Like, my reliance on overeating seems to be in check, and so far i have squelched any transfer addictions, but it is like i sometimes feel they are lurking. I can't even say why I feel that way, but like there is something in the brain that wants something.. wants a stimulation. Even my exercise, I do it regularly, but watch to be sure it doesn't become my life. My hope is that year after year of successfully not using food or other substances in an abusive way will change that neuropathway.... that part of my brain that is always seeking something.

I am so happy for all the successes, but sad that some of us are so down. I think that this group is universally just too hard on ourselves. Really. Really. the feeling of failure over being 15 pounds (or whatever) over some goal weight is just such a weight to carry in and of itself.

I had an hour long phone call with my part-time non boyfriend the other day. I remember it, like i remember all the parts of it, but was on pain meds due to a little issue I had with a drain (body rejected it - not infected but hurt like freaking hell - it is out now). Anyway, I do recall him bringing up these huge important topics 1. wanting to really know more about how it felt to go from being obese most of my life to being "hot" (his words, not mine). He is a motivational speaker among other things, and is a student of human behavior, the way we think and is really interested in the subject. I do recall we decided to table that big huge subject for an in person talk. Then, item #2 we talked extensively about our non relationship and the running joke about that. So, while I remember pretty much the words that were said, but I can't make sense of any of it now. I do recall that he seemed quite concerned that I plan to move on now that I have had plastic surgery. And i do recall telling him that when ski season starts and he begins his part time ski instructor job on top of everything else he does that I just didn't really see how there would be time for me and I think he took out of that that we need to schedule things out but it isn't quite that simple. Reality of it is that he is super fun, super intelligent, super verbal, super physical and quite attractive - all the things I like in a guy, but he is basically into his own life and doesn't want a real fulltime girlfriend even though he sometimes kids himself into thinking he might. I am not sure what will come of it, but although that talk was quite lovely, I really wish we hadn't had it right now.... when I can't make sense of things...LOL

I don't really want to leap into a long term/permanent type thing either but I admit I like having someone who is fun to play with - but they need to have time and focus for me. He imagines we will meet in the middle, but reality of it is that I don't believe people really change and he is who is - he has always been honest about it and I really can't begrudge any aspect of that. He is peter pan, he wants to play and enjoy life and simply finds small compartments to fit me into. More power too him, it has been great for me, but at some point, just not enough. I am not sure exactly when that point is, but I think this week I would like to meet him face to face - assuming that last drain comes out of course - and just kinda lay it all out. I hadn't planned on really getting into this until I am fully healed but I have this feeling that i agreed to some things that i don't really agree to - damn - should not have serious conversations when not fully ourselves!

Step away from the morphine first.... its a mood changer.(if you are still using it....)

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Just thought I'd update here -

23rd Nov no change from 159 (I've seen 158 but it didn't stick so I'm not calling it). So in 6 weeks I've not lost a pound. Doing my fast days twice a week ranging from 500 - 600 and I'm happy with that. Generally my feast days are good - some treats here and there but nothing too deadly and any slight gain comes straight off - probably Water. Still going to Curves.

Any ideas how to mix this up again and get losing?

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Just thought I'd update here -

23rd Nov no change from 159 (I've seen 158 but it didn't stick so I'm not calling it). So in 6 weeks I've not lost a pound. Doing my fast days twice a week ranging from 500 - 600 and I'm happy with that. Generally my feast days are good - some treats here and there but nothing too deadly and any slight gain comes straight off - probably Water. Still going to Curves.

Any ideas how to mix this up again and get losing?

You have lost 12 inches in that time, you are replacing fat with muscle tone... I think you are WAY a winner coops... Dont let that scale number bum you out, that measurement number is more important to the way you really look! Big Congrats!! Keep up what you are doing! I want some of that, I need to 1. measure again, and 2. go to the gym more!

I got to "goal"...( high end of my bounce range goal) two and a half weeks ago, it lasted one day and I was bouncing above it for the last 2 1/2 wks... today I finally got back to the 60's.... so I am now one pound below my highest bounce weight. My goal is to keep my bounce, high and low end, in the 160's. So very happy about this....at least for today!

Surgery date: 1-18-2011

High weight- 259

two days before surgery- 247

one year after surgery- 174

two years after surgery (3-12-2013)- 196.3- back on the wagon, trying TDEE then Southbeach phase1.

start the 5:2 plan (6-11-2013)- 190.9

almost 3 years after surgery First Goal, get to the 160's (11-7-13) 168.7 still on the 5:2!

22.2 down on the 5:2 in 5+ months

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Updated stats -

6/4/13 start date 177

12/4/13 141.4

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Updated stats -

6/4/13 start date 177

12/4/13 141.4

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GEorgia. That is awesome!! You should be so proud of yourself. Was it all 5:2? what was different then what u had been doing before June?

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original stats:
Start date: 11 June 13
Start weight: 168

Started Dec at 156 - that is 12lbs gone and 2 left to Surgeon's goal.

I am guessing that I will do the bounce thing now for several weeks; especially over Christmas, and then in the NY those last pesky two pounds will go.

Once I am sitting at 154 it will be a test of the 5:2 to get to into the 14*s and then on to my personal goal,,,hmmm, this will be an interesting test!

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Coops, Im going to work on the personal goal- 5 in the New Years too, Im there for you! We can do it together!

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I haven't checked in on this thread forever!

The holidays I wanted to actually lose and not "just" maintain...

Yeah... At this point I will hang on for dear flipping life to try and maintain!!

If 5:2 can help me maintain through this period of celebrations I'll take it. :)

Started June 11th.

Start weight 171

Current weight 149

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I'm claiming it cos the scales have been the same for 2 days (weigh in day officially tomorrow) 171lb, the first time the scale has moved in many weeks.

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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