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I finally got my laptop virus killed so i can use it. Typing from the kindle was a bit tedious...

i have withheld comment on the addiction/suicide discussions because i guess like many, i have been touched by this as well. It is such a painful and difficult subject and I sometimes feel like many of us could be "addicts" so easily. Like, my reliance on overeating seems to be in check, and so far i have squelched any transfer addictions, but it is like i sometimes feel they are lurking. I can't even say why I feel that way, but like there is something in the brain that wants something.. wants a stimulation. Even my exercise, I do it regularly, but watch to be sure it doesn't become my life. My hope is that year after year of successfully not using food or other substances in an abusive way will change that neuropathway.... that part of my brain that is always seeking something.

I am so happy for all the successes, but sad that some of us are so down. I think that this group is universally just too hard on ourselves. Really. Really. the feeling of failure over being 15 pounds (or whatever) over some goal weight is just such a weight to carry in and of itself.

I had an hour long phone call with my part-time non boyfriend the other day. I remember it, like i remember all the parts of it, but was on pain meds due to a little issue I had with a drain (body rejected it - not infected but hurt like freaking hell - it is out now). Anyway, I do recall him bringing up these huge important topics 1. wanting to really know more about how it felt to go from being obese most of my life to being "hot" (his words, not mine). He is a motivational speaker among other things, and is a student of human behavior, the way we think and is really interested in the subject. I do recall we decided to table that big huge subject for an in person talk. Then, item #2 we talked extensively about our non relationship and the running joke about that. So, while I remember pretty much the words that were said, but I can't make sense of any of it now. I do recall that he seemed quite concerned that I plan to move on now that I have had plastic surgery. And i do recall telling him that when ski season starts and he begins his part time ski instructor job on top of everything else he does that I just didn't really see how there would be time for me and I think he took out of that that we need to schedule things out but it isn't quite that simple. Reality of it is that he is super fun, super intelligent, super verbal, super physical and quite attractive - all the things I like in a guy, but he is basically into his own life and doesn't want a real fulltime girlfriend even though he sometimes kids himself into thinking he might. I am not sure what will come of it, but although that talk was quite lovely, I really wish we hadn't had it right now.... when I can't make sense of things...LOL

I don't really want to leap into a long term/permanent type thing either but I admit I like having someone who is fun to play with - but they need to have time and focus for me. He imagines we will meet in the middle, but reality of it is that I don't believe people really change and he is who is - he has always been honest about it and I really can't begrudge any aspect of that. He is peter pan, he wants to play and enjoy life and simply finds small compartments to fit me into. More power too him, it has been great for me, but at some point, just not enough. I am not sure exactly when that point is, but I think this week I would like to meet him face to face - assuming that last drain comes out of course - and just kinda lay it all out. I hadn't planned on really getting into this until I am fully healed but I have this feeling that i agreed to some things that i don't really agree to - damn - should not have serious conversations when not fully ourselves!

Step away from the morphine first.... its a mood changer.(if you are still using it....)

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Just thought I'd update here -

23rd Nov no change from 159 (I've seen 158 but it didn't stick so I'm not calling it). So in 6 weeks I've not lost a pound. Doing my fast days twice a week ranging from 500 - 600 and I'm happy with that. Generally my feast days are good - some treats here and there but nothing too deadly and any slight gain comes straight off - probably Water. Still going to Curves.

Any ideas how to mix this up again and get losing?

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Just thought I'd update here -

23rd Nov no change from 159 (I've seen 158 but it didn't stick so I'm not calling it). So in 6 weeks I've not lost a pound. Doing my fast days twice a week ranging from 500 - 600 and I'm happy with that. Generally my feast days are good - some treats here and there but nothing too deadly and any slight gain comes straight off - probably Water. Still going to Curves.

Any ideas how to mix this up again and get losing?

You have lost 12 inches in that time, you are replacing fat with muscle tone... I think you are WAY a winner coops... Dont let that scale number bum you out, that measurement number is more important to the way you really look! Big Congrats!! Keep up what you are doing! I want some of that, I need to 1. measure again, and 2. go to the gym more!

I got to "goal"...( high end of my bounce range goal) two and a half weeks ago, it lasted one day and I was bouncing above it for the last 2 1/2 wks... today I finally got back to the 60's.... so I am now one pound below my highest bounce weight. My goal is to keep my bounce, high and low end, in the 160's. So very happy about this....at least for today!

Surgery date: 1-18-2011

High weight- 259

two days before surgery- 247

one year after surgery- 174

two years after surgery (3-12-2013)- 196.3- back on the wagon, trying TDEE then Southbeach phase1.

start the 5:2 plan (6-11-2013)- 190.9

almost 3 years after surgery First Goal, get to the 160's (11-7-13) 168.7 still on the 5:2!

22.2 down on the 5:2 in 5+ months

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Updated stats -

6/4/13 start date 177

12/4/13 141.4

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Updated stats -

6/4/13 start date 177

12/4/13 141.4

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GEorgia. That is awesome!! You should be so proud of yourself. Was it all 5:2? what was different then what u had been doing before June?

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original stats:
Start date: 11 June 13
Start weight: 168

Started Dec at 156 - that is 12lbs gone and 2 left to Surgeon's goal.

I am guessing that I will do the bounce thing now for several weeks; especially over Christmas, and then in the NY those last pesky two pounds will go.

Once I am sitting at 154 it will be a test of the 5:2 to get to into the 14*s and then on to my personal goal,,,hmmm, this will be an interesting test!

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Coops, Im going to work on the personal goal- 5 in the New Years too, Im there for you! We can do it together!

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I haven't checked in on this thread forever!

The holidays I wanted to actually lose and not "just" maintain...

Yeah... At this point I will hang on for dear flipping life to try and maintain!!

If 5:2 can help me maintain through this period of celebrations I'll take it. :)

Started June 11th.

Start weight 171

Current weight 149

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I'm claiming it cos the scales have been the same for 2 days (weigh in day officially tomorrow) 171lb, the first time the scale has moved in many weeks.

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
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    • ChunkCat

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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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