gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[Georgia 2,911]

Me in my cocktail dress. Not enough time to do hair up do.

You look AWESOME and TINY!!

[coops 1,790]

lovely dress Sheryl

Florinda... your living quarters sound really harsh. I have to be honest, it has made me grateful for my home! It has to be difficult living like that?

[sarsar 824]

I love the dress! You look so good! Glad you are having fun.

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

Coops my dress was just right. Some ladies had more low cut ones etc. so this hit the mark.

I did get lots of compliments but here is a funny.... 4 of us were complimenting each others cocktail look and B says to me "I tried on that same dress and it gave me a huge butt" without thinking I said "oh no, does my ass look big?". They assured me I just looked curvy. I have fairly narrow hips so the shape of this dress works for me.

[UK Cathy 977]

Ladies, I hope you all have a lovely weekend, the news indicates that some of you have a lot of snow to contend with - hope you are all safe and well. We have rain and storms, some poor people have been flooded since Christmas and there are no signs of the Water going down in that area. I'm lucky just dome fallen trees and flooded roads to get through or around. I have just started a weeks holiday from work and I'm off to the seaside with hubby and the dog. I hope we get there as I have just realised some of the route is flooded. The forecast for this week is rubbish too but I thought I might as well sit in and read a book by the seaside as at home. Nice long and different walks for the dog too.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Sheryl - we need a close up pic of the shoes, STAT!!!!

Maybe I am just used to harsh conditions but my little cubby was really not bad, so long as I have a comfy bed I'm good to go

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

Drum roll please... came back from the big meeting - a week of dinners out, lots of Snacks and adult beverages at 148.9

What is more astounding is that Friday included eating at Epcot center, flight delays stuck on the tarmac for 2 hours in Houston, buying a boxed dinner of salty chips cheese and pepperoni. I expected to be up 5 just due the salt but instead well within my bounce range.

Before going on the trip I visualized maintaining....now I need to visualize detoxing from the carbs.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Cathy, the beach! That sounds like heaven! I like any kind of weather on the beach (or looking out a window at it for that mater!) Have fun walking the dog.

Sheryl, funny story- I still get tickled when i have a "normal" conversation with "normal" sized people and I fit in.... and congrats on the maintenance... what a relief when that can happen!

Globe, When i lived in India, I had a room "sweet 16" that was a cement box with windows and a balcony with a view... but very austere... toilet (make that a room with a hole in the floor) down the hall... and I had a bucket and emersion heating coil to heat Water to wash with and wash cloths... sometimes in the snow. I loved it so much! A little austerity can bring people together, and I tended to focus on what was rich about the place. The view, the culture the people. Im with you Florinda, cubbies can be wonderful (If the bed is adequate)

[feedyoureye 3,087]

OK if anyone here is interested in doing Sheryl's challange, I have started a post here: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/297832-cowgirls-90-day-morning-challenge/

Sheryl, please chime in if my take on it is off base... I really simplified it, maybe too much...

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

You did a great job summarizing it!

Here is the key thing to the exercise; never write the "critical or harsh private voice/coach". Always write just the positive. We are actually trying to retrain the brain neuropathways here! And, if you don't have a negative statement to turn around, that's okay, STILL write a positive one. You may already have a good positive neuropathway established, turn it into a beautiful paved interstate!

It must also always be specific, relevant and acknowledges your reality. so no "you're okay, I'm okay" stuff. It is very specific like a real coach would encourage you with out denying the truth of the situation. Imagine how that positve statement would look later if someone read it, would they think "what an effective, compassionate coach" or would you be embarrased?

He also mentioned that this method has worked with huge ego people... they practice humility while patting themselves on the back. The speaker said people they interact with start noticing a difference within months - they are still high ego, but get better at showing appreciation to others because they did this daily practice.

I am not sure, I may want to write mine by hand. I will try both, but often hand written things just stick to me better. I often use dry erase markers on my bathroom mirror. Words mattter.

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

okay, isn't life funny. I just QUIT looking for someone to date, do stuff with etc. and I seem to have finally met someone that might, just might fit the bill. He actually excites and attracts me AND appears to meet my "criteria" too.

I have been seeing Steven more regularly again and he seems more comfortable with "us" right now but we both know it still doesn't meet what I want for 2014. I want someone who is free to travel and do fun stuff... but that doesn't want to necessarily sign up for the lifetime plan.

Okay, don't judge me too hard but I am picky. Looks and fitness are important. Interest and ability to travel (ie availability and financial means), high intelligence and verbal skills, being a vibrant and outgoing and energizing kind of person - a really appealing personality type. I have come to find that not many meet that criteria and when they do, I suspect they have their pick of 30 year olds - know what I mean?

So, I met someone who fits and I think I have passed his criteria. He is socially very adept, but I did kinda felt like I was being tested/evaluated... haha. Like, I have this feeling I am old enough to look respectable among his social group, young enough looking to still be reasonably appealing and what he really emphasized is that I am conversant and can talk business etc. I have eaten at fine restaurants yada yada. Yeah, I had a feeling I was being screened for how I would fit in with his financial services industry peers. He is really well off, is 61 but really active and fit. Owns a vacation home in Hawaii, is passionate about boating (sold his but charters them regularly), is not retired yet, but basically financially independant. He is a financial advisor/retirement planner and has done really well... slowly transitioning his business so he can retire but bottom line he has financial and time means to do the stuff I want to do. I am not looking for someone to buy stuff for me, so I am not money focused like that, I just want someone that is secure for himself, as it just removes a whole layer of problems in finding a playmate/travelmate.

He busted me already on the plastic surgery as he noticed my arm scar on our second meeting. He guessed the weight loss surgery based on the way I was eating combined with the plastics. He is good with all that and told me he admired that I changed my life. We'll see if that translates to a 3rd meeting... one never knows.. but he did reveal that he had cosmetic surgery on his chin/neck wattle which is of course one reason he looks more like 50 or so not 61.

After so many years of living with someone who treated me like I am invisible, it is so nice to find someone who actually SEES me (he has this in common with Steven).

I think there is potential here and even though the timing isn't ideal, I feel like I need to give it a chance given that he seems to be a somewhat rare find for a middle aged woman like me.

anyway, the only thing I don't like about this guy is he is a radical right wing republican which isn't my cup of tea, but since I haven't found perfection and he is the closest I have encountered - I may have to overlook the rants about Al Gore (global warming isn't real) and Obama (who's goal of reforming healthcare is a communist plot kinda thing). I am used to this nonsense in the senior levels of corporate America so it kinda rolls off me even if I don't agree. I btw, am fairly middle of the road but will probably vote for Hilary Clinton if she is on the ticket next time kind of voter.

I realize my primary resistance is that I don't want to peel away from my comfortable space with Steven - I feel like I can talk to him about anything and of course have strong feelings for him even though our relationship is very limited. I know that is holding me back so I have decided to tell Steven this is happening and to at least give this a chance - even though it is too early to know if anything will come of it. I really want to spend 2014 having fun, going places and I am so sick of the process of finding someone it feels good to meet someone that sparks a little fire in me AND meets some of these other criteria. I know Steven will be supportive of me because it is what he wants me to find for myself too.

It might still be a long shot, but I want a chance, even just for a little while, where I actually have places to wear a LBD and where a $30 bottle of wine is considered a budget choice. Through work, I have had many glimpses of that world but have never really lived it. I don't know why this is something I care about but it is more like enjoying the freedom that MY hard work and career have brought me. I have just never had a mate or even DATE that is in a position to enjoy those things with me.

Well, that was a long winded wander through my current thought process. I hate that I sound so superficial because i really am not - but I am practicing raising my standards though since it has not worked so far in life to just accept a guy without "judging" his financial/career situation. I will not make that mistake again.

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

Oh and the really important thing - I am STILL under 150 in spite of dinner out, and post travel swelling in my lower belly.

It is so WEIRD, but I think a week of eating a bit more told my body to lose weight. So now, I need to eat less again and keep all those little fat cells guessing..haha.

My next mini goal is to get to 145 and kind of stabilize there. I don't care too much about the weight, but i want to get to that lower body fat % of 25% and I think I need to drop a few pounds to make that happen.

I was so impressed by Sarsars pix - maybe you have some advice for us? I still cannot figure out why my bodyfat % is in the 28-29% range given that when people see me they always notice that I am quite muscular for a woman. The surgeons tell me I don't have much fat, but clearly I have more that I should to get to 25% which is my goal for 2014.

[coops 1,790]

God I am glad that I ain't single... that sounds like a real nightmare... I wouldn't even know where to start with my ideal criteria other than my husband! lol!

I can relate to the frustration of body fat - I am also 29 or there abouts, might be a in the 30s - will be getting this checked in the gym next week! I am a lot heavier and shorter than you though Sheryl.... I am a year with my TT and BL next month and I still get swelling around the tummy scar... it can also get uncomfortable, especially when I am bloated from not having a poo for days on end. I have booked to see my surgeon at the end of this month and will check with him that this is normal. I have read that swelling can last from12 - 18mths. It is a pain though! The feeling just add to the 'I feel fat' thing.

My scale is being cruel and not budging at all - in fact it is bouncing up and I hate it! I have been really 'good' for a few weeks and really thought I was on the cusp of getting below this set point of 155 and then bamb - I bounce up again. Nightmare.

To top it off I have had a horrible weekend of eating sh*te - food that is quick - sandwiches, biscuits and just crap! My MIL is here til weds (I love her dearly but she causes stress), I have a lot going on in work (stress) and it is Gary's funeral Friday (mega stress), so I really don't know when I can get a good fast in? Did I mention I feel stressed - in the true meaning of the word!!

I'm still in a funk - it has been longer than usual and it is not like me to get out of it. There is a part of me that wants to run away for a few days and stay in a dark room and sleep. But I know it will all be here when I get back so that isn't an option.

I saw my doc who said all my bloods are normal except my FSH - which indicate full menopause; really! Like I didn't bloody know that... the hot flashes are awful and wake me 3,4,5,6 times each night ... draining isn't the word. She wouldn't prescribe me progesterone cream... not without oestrogen too and I don't want oestrogen again... it didn't work last time and I felt as bad. I am looking on line for some progesterone cream, if anyone has a good make please let me know cos it is an expensive minefield and I don't want to waste money. I am still plodding my way through the book Kim recommended...

Oh and Sarah, yes! Any advise on looking like you would be amazing...

I still haven't figured out how to upload my pics from my phone to here - I downloaded the app but can't find this thread... *sighs*

I am sure things will get better soon *crosses fingers, legs and toes*

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

Well have a date for Monday with the Republican. .haha...so guess my plastics didn't scare him off yet.

My son broke up with his long time girlfriend. I know it's for the best but sad. Taking him to dinner tonight.

Sorry you are blue. Damn menopause. Know what I hate the most? Unreliable and sometimes zero production of vaginal fluids. ..makes everything -- horse and bike riding included uncomfortable. I just hate it.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

S_{heryl, where did you find this guy? Online or out at a social gathering?} He sounds really nice, but quite a bit older than you. I hope you aren't going to dealing with ED issues because it's a real pain. I 'd rather not have sex at all than have it with someone who thinks they can have it but can't keep an erection.

I'm doing well, other than Bill seems to want more attention than I am used to giving a man. I have been on my own since I was 35. I don't want to spend24/7 with a man.

We will get it figured out.