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Is this a normal thought presurgery? I can't stop thinking..what if I die and my kids don't have a mom all because I wanted to be skinny? I'm a nurse so I know the risks of surgery and I actually had a patient once who stroked while having gastric bypass and now she's thin but she poops and drools on herself in a nursing home all day. Does anyone else worry about dying or am I the only nut?

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I did too. I think it is normal. I told my husband after surgery that I thought I was going to die. He asked me why and I said I did not know...cant explain why!

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I thought the same thing when I was gonna have my gallbladder surgery and when I had this one as well. I also thought what if I wake up? I guess it is hard not to think about it because it is there, but everything turned out okay! You'll be fine!

Sent from my iPhone using VST

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It has crossed my mind lol. I know the chances are slim and I'm banking on being one of the lucky ones. But yeah it's definitely scary. I think the rewards outweigh the risks, in my case at least.

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Thought about that too, even up to the moment i entered the OR. But prayed about it constantly. No regrets now. All is well.

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Oh bless your heart. I was in tears worrying i'd die too. But, i didn't and have no regrets about doing it. It's something you have to decide for yourself! But yes i do think most people have fears before surgery, and most of the time it turns out just fine.

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Any procedure is going to have risk, and it's something that should be considered prior to surgery. I still see the surgery as something that was saving my health. I have diabetes & my blood pressure was high. It was a very slim chance that something was going to happen during surgery. It was a reality that my life was going to be impacted by the diabetes & blood pressure. I tried to lose weight on my own in the past & it came back. This was something that I needed help with & I got it.

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I think about it all the time. Like, what if I'm that unlucky % that dies and leaves my babies without a mom?

Then on the other hand I'm like, what kind of mom will I become if everything goes well with surgery? Ill be more active and fun and I'll be able to get down and play with them. I won't be self conscious and wondering if people are stating at me because my my size.

It's a toss up. I've been struggling with my weight forever so it would be nice to not constantly think about it and to feel normal.

Good luck to you! You aren't alone!

Sheena :)

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All of us die.... Most of us don't choose when. My Brother reminded me that my Surgery date is the first Anniversary of my Mother's Death. I choose to look at it as the first day of the rest of my life. The risk is higher getting in the car and driving to your Dr's office. Relax..... we're going to be fine. By the way..... I'm a RN too.

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I felt that way too. I've felt that way any time I go in for surgery. What helps me to move past it is to write letters to my loved ones, especially each of my kids. I know it's morbid, but at least I'm not leaving things unsaid and they'll know I loved them.

The truth is any of us can die any day. We could be hit by a car or have a freak fall. That doesn't keep us from living our lives. Most of us do this to improve our quality of life.

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Hopefully, you're not doing this only to become skinny. If that's the only reaon then maybe it's not worth the risk of dying. Being skinny is not worth dying for. If you're doing this for more reasons than what you stated then I'm assuming they outweigh the risk. They did for me and I'm sure most others here. Good luck :D

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I wrote letters to my kids and husband. It's perfectly normal. I am six weeks post now and so happy. It helped new to think that even with complications people almost never ever die and the risk is similar to gallbladder removal and other surgeries.

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I worry about this a lot. My closest friend is a doctor and he said for my age (37) that I would be extremely low risk. He spent a lot of time looking up the numbers and he said a large percentage of the 1% (or whatever it is) that die are older people with a lot of other prevalent health issues.

But even with that knowledge, I'm still going to be terrified until I wake up from the procedure, God willing that my insurance approves it.

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let me share my experience with you.. I was schedule for surgery on April 8 of this yr went to the hospital and got prepare for surgery and could not go through with it I was at the or door and told them no way.. my nerves got the best of me I could not stop crying the thought of leaving my kids behind was unbearable..so I left and went home only to be disappoint with myself I knew I could not do this by myself so I waited 1 week later and reschedule my surgery for the very next month may 13 I was sleeved im so happy I did this time around I was fine not a nervous bone in my body.. nothing in life is promise if this something you want to do, do it you will be fine hope this helps..

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Get a surgeon with a zero mortality rate .

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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