Here is a really neat article talking about how our Mothers' actions and words shape our body images even when we are young.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/wellbeing/8760102/When-your-mother-says-shes-fat

I have REALLY conciously tried to stop the negative talk when it comes to anything about bodies, shape, fat, etc. when it comes to my girls. I have an almost 11-year old daughter and a 12 year old daughter and the last thing they need to hear is "oh you'll just take after me and be fat." They were 9 and 10 when I was sleeved and I told them that I needed to have surgery to regain my health. It is my great hope that obesity does NOT find them and do harm to them.

My daughter is almost 7, and has already asked if she looks fat in things...and the only juiciness the child has is her tiny bubble butt. She knows that I have been seeing a dr to lose weight, and that I will have this surgery. We talk about eating healthier, and she asks about carbs and protein in foods. Our food talks started before I started this journey...she wound up in the hospital with and obstructed/impacted bowel, so we always look for high fiber snacks for her. Like you, I hope that she fares better than I have...and that the PCOS doesn't hit her like it did me. She's discovered that she likes sports, so hopefully keeping her more active than I was will work in her favor.

Thank you for sharing that. It made me cry because I could see myself in the little girl that learned from the messages at home how "unattractive" and "shame worthy" being fat was and how "easy" it was to lose weight if you just focused on it (therefore bringing about a feeling of failure when this was not he case for me).

I still struggle to talk with my parents about this and promise myself that if I have girls (or boys) I will instill in them that they are so much more than a number on a scale

This brings tears to me because the damage was done. I want to wrap my arms around my daughter and tell her how beautiful she is.

I am very open and honest with my 8 year old daughter.. I tell her everything that is going on with my life. She has been to a couple of my doctors appointments with me where we were discussing the procedure or my weight.. Since then she has started to say oh my fat hips or my fat thighs.. She is tiny..a small fry.. I tried to explain to her that she is a healthy weight and that she isn't fat and mommy is doing this to get healthy I just don't know if what she has heard from me being to open and honest has harmed her.. :'(

When I used to complain to my mom about being fat as a teen (I wasn't fat...at all!) she'd say things like "Well cut the feedbag then!" Her lack of support only encouraged my unhealthy dieting and food obsession that got me where I

Am today. If I ever have kids, I vow never to do that to them.