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Afraid to tell people I've been sleeved



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I am afraid on how people will judge me. I am only 6 days in from having been sleeved and this is surely no easy way out.

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If you don't want to tell anyone ... don't. I didn't :D

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If you tell or you don't tell you are OK. There are about an equal number of people here on both sides I think. Some change their mind and switch to telling. Some tell just close friends and relatives.

Then there are characters like me who tell folks for fun just to watch them struggle. It's the mean little boy in me. :)

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I don't plan to tell people either--only my mom and one of my dearest friends.

There are so many misconceptions about the surgery...ie. it's a lazy choice, an easy way out. I'm a school teacher in a small community and it would be big news for the gossip mills, believe me. I don't ever remember hearing about anyone in my community having the surgery, that's for sure.

But as to keeping it private, I predict I will have enough on my plate without having to deal with the expectations and judgements of acquaintances and co-workers.

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I didn't tell anyone, either. People can be mean, intentionally and unintentionally. Do what is best for you. Good luck!

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I felt the same at first. Now, I'm 6 months out, and I don't give an f... People can think what they want, the sleeve worked for me and I am proud of my results. The majority of people say hateful crap because their jealous and threatened by you. I've lost a few close friends over my sleeve, but obviously they weren't that great if I lost them so easily.

You may hesitate now, but give yourself time to get use to it

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I've lost a few close friends over my sleeve, but obviously they weren't that great if I lost them so easily.

I should be shocked by this, but sadly, I'm not. I have a friend who would never be able to accept the idea of the surgery. She views all medical problems as spiritual ones--even cancer!-- so because I really care about her, I'll just do my level best to keep it private from her.

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I didn't hide it from anyone. I took the approach that I'm doing this for me. Most were supportive some are not. The ones that aren't. Screw them. Most are loving the transformation. Was much easier to not have to remember what I told and who I told. I just don't give a rats ass about those who look down on it. Never been happier and people say I glow.

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I also didn't give a rat's ass.

If you have stock in the rat's ass industry I suggest you divest.

People are giving them a lot less these days.

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I know I definitely need to cut down on my contributions of rats asses! :D

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If you want to tell then tell.. if you DON'T want to tell, then don't.. Just remember that once you tell one person.. you can't "untell" so choose wisely!

Personally I've told my sisters and my boyfriend and that's it. I'll let the cat out of the bag to the rest of my family in August when I see them at a wedding I'm invited to. By then I'll be around 240 pounds (hopefully) and it will be pretty hard for people not to notice a 120 pound weight loss! I'm proud of the fact that I'm sleeved...I just didn't want to tell people in advance because I don't want them to have unrealistic expectations.

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I am afraid on how people will judge me. I am only 6 days in from having been sleeved and this is surely no easy way out.

If ur afraid to tell folks about ur sleeve then you probably shouldn't. Go with your first instinct and limit who u share your personal experience. We live in a extremely judgmental society and only those who love us will accept you and your decision.

I agree with the person on this thread that said " once you tell you can' t un- tell". Also depending who you tell a secret ain't a secret once you tell the wrong person.

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I'm telling people who ask and then some that don't. To me, I am taking advantage of a medical procedure to help me live longer. Just like the c-sections I've had that brought me my three beautiful children. If I hadn't taken advantage of that procedure, I would be dead. Do I wish I could lose weight "naturally" just like I wished I would have been able to have natural childbirth? You bet! Will it ultimately make a difference? No. Find your worth in yourself, not in what other people think.

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I told no one other than my wife and immediate family and they won't tell him anyone. It is your choice and no ones business. Good luck to you.

Sent from my iPad using VST

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I told my closest friends and they came and visited me in the hospital! They were very happy for me because they knew how much of a struggle I had been having. Tell the people you trust. I'm going back to school with people I've known a year and I'm afraid they will judge me, but I figured, this surgery saved my life, why not share it with the world!? So, if someone asks, I tell them :).

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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