I am really sick and tired of being lectured on this site...people assuming just because I was fat, that I had an unhealthy relationship with food. Not everyone was like this! Pre op, I never ate to excess because when I was full I would stop eating. (I was on a low calorie lifestyle change and stuck with it for years...I stuck with it so I wouldn't gain weight) Fat people get this stereotype from those on the outside all the time (that we eat a lot)and I finally thought this was a place of non judgement. I am aware many on this site got the way they are because they ate a lot but not everyone. Same goes with exercising: people are lecturing that you have to make sure you exercise daily or else and half of these holier than now lectures haven't seen the inside of a gym until this year. Which isnt a problem because they have chosen to make a change but do not lecture others when you dont know their history. Finally...being lectured about my post op drinks. Everyone is given a list by their drs and are not supposed to stray away from that list. I was told 2oz 3x per day of boost, ensure, atkins, slim fast, etc. I am constantly being told these are not healthy...and being read the nutrition facts..um I have it right in front of me and can read but honestly if my dr says to drink it I will.

I don't doubt you at all. We are all different in body shape, metabolism, and body fat to muscle. I was a size 18/20 at my heaviest and my BFF who weighed about 10 pounds less than me wore a size 22/24. I am athletic and active and when I do concentrate on eating well, I lose weight quickly and then after about 3 weeks I stop all together. (This is when I usually give up all together, binge a bit and gain it all back.)

I have fat genes on both sides, but that said, I can blame no one but myself for where I am in my weight loss journey. My parents are both in good shape and they work hard to stay that way. I work hard most of the time but the times I don't work hard, I gain copious amounts of weight and justify it to my own detriment.

I chose this surgery because I can't quit it. I also chose this surgery because I am extremely obsessive compulsive and when I did WWs, all I thought about was points, measuring, weighing, planning meals, tracking, to the point that I drove myself nuts and I felt unproductive in other aspects of my life. I can't do that any more. Now, with my teeny tiny tummy, my choices are made for me. I still have to worry about getting in the Protein and liquids, but my mindset is completely different because my choices are so limited for now.

I hope this creates new habits for me as my tummy heals and I slowly incorporate new foods into my diet.

Why would that matter? If I lost weight at 1000 calories per day and I maintained at 1200-1400 then why can't I just stay under 1000 per day during weight loss period and go back up to 1200-1400 for the maintenence period? For me the sleeve was about not being hungry which I havent been in this last week and 1/2

Ok, I was just trying to get a feel for your situation since you posted on here and thought you were wanting some honest feedback. But if you've already been sleeved, I suppose it's a moot point. If you lose a good bit of weight from the sleeve, you probably were taking in too many calories. If you don't lose weight, it's probably a metabolic issue. Or if you lose just a little weight, I'm guessing it could be some of both. No judging here or lecturing, just trying to get a grasp on your situation. I wish you the best of luck!

Ok' date=' I was just trying to get a feel for your situation since you posted on here and thought you were wanting some honest feedback. But if you've already been sleeved, I suppose it's a moot point. If you lose a good bit of weight from the sleeve, you probably were taking in too many calories. If you don't lose weight, it's probably a metabolic issue. Or if you lose just a little weight, I'm guessing it could be some of both. No judging here or lecturing, just trying to get a grasp on your situation. I wish you the best of luck![/quote']

I know I was taking in too many calories...ive been working with a nut for the past few years...to lose weight 1200-1400 calories was too much for me...not for the average person but for me...1200 and less is what I need to eat to lose weight 1200-1400 is what I need to maintain and 1400 ( sometimes 1600) and more causes me to gain. I am very aware of what my metabolism needs the sleeve is just a tool for me to not be hungry at 1200 or less

When I first started this journey I thought this would never work for me. After talking with my Dr,, the NUT, my surgeon, and the therapist they all agreed that I was a great candidate. You must understand that although it will not fix your metabolism it does control portions to the extreme. We are eating way less than a normal skinny person is eating. I am eating less than my 2 year old.

I do think from your history of posts that you are a bit sensitive to feedback as are many people. I wan't involved in the thread you are speaking of being lectured in (I don't think!), but I do often feel that I have to tiptoe around or avoid the questions you do ask because I feel as if you don't get the feedback you are specifically looking for, you get a little defensive.

I have little to no filter and I give feedback based on MY experience only. If my experience doesn't apply to you, there is no need to take it personally. I may have the right answer for someone else or for no one else. Bottom line is, it's hard to read tone on a public message board so where you might hear lecturing, the poster might intend love and care.

Just throwing that out there.

When I first started this journey I thought this would never work for me. After talking with my Dr' date=', the NUT, my surgeon, and the therapist they all agreed that I was a great candidate. You must understand that although it will not fix your metabolism it does control portions to the extreme. We are eating way less than a normal skinny person is eating. I am eating less than my 2 year old. [/quote']

I know it will not fix my metabolism but why should it have to...I was only gaining weight at 1400/1600 and more and I will never be eating that much again.

I do think from your history of posts that you are a bit sensitive to feedback as are many people. I wan't involved in the thread you are speaking of being lectured in (I don't think!)' date=' but I do often feel that I have to tiptoe around or avoid the questions you do ask because I feel as if you don't get the feedback you are specifically looking for, you get a little defensive.

I have little to now filter and I give feedback based on MY experience only. If my experience doesn't apply to you, there is no need to take it personally. I may have the right answer for someone else or for no one else. Bottom line is, it's hard to read tone on a public message board so where you might hear lecturing, the poster might intend love and care.

Just throwing that out there.[/quote']

Well this thread wasnt asking for advice it was a rant...and I actually asked if anyone else was lectured about things and no one answered that. The thread about the Protein drinks, I asked about flavors. If I asked if these were good for me id understand you feeling this way. . I am the opposite of sensitive.

Janice, I'm on your side! haha. I agree. Most people on here are completely different. I always read about people who state that they are 3 months out and up to 1200 calories and still losing. While the next person is 3 months out and is at 800 calories and is at a stall. It all depends on the person.

We would all love to have the same experience, but the truth is everyone's experience in completely unique.

I try to limit myself to a couple of posts a week. I think this is a sign for me to shut up. I'm barely making sense as it is.

I'm looking back on my threads that I posted now and the only time I get defensive is when someone gets completely off topic. For instance the other day i was over heated and asked if anyone knew if gulping actually harmed my sleeve or if it just hurt. I was at the point of passing out so I didn't care about pain just about getting Water in. But then I get answers like "sip sip sip"...like seriously I'm not a dumba I know you are SUPPOSED to sip sip sip but that wasnt my question.

Edit: ive looked through them all now and dont see where I was defensive

Too late

I hope that the sleeve is the sollution to your battle, and that it works, but it might be a good idea to get some metabolic testing done as well. No lecture, just a suggestion.

If I ever feel as if I'm being lectured, I try to think of the person's intentions, and I would say the vast majority of the time here, people mean well and are trying to help. Even if an OP isn't open to feedback, sometimes people weigh in because they want to provide helpful information for others reading a thread (even people who don't post on the thread).

I'm looking back on my threads that I posted now and the only time I get defensive is when someone gets completely off topic. For instance the other day i was over heated and asked if anyone knew if gulping actually harmed my sleeve or if it just hurt. I was at the point of passing out so I didn't care about pain just about getting Water in. But then I get answers like "sip sip sip"...like seriously I'm not a dumba I know you are SUPPOSED to sip sip sip but that wasnt my question.

Edit: ive looked through them all now and dont see where I was defensive

That was one of them that I backed off on. You do need to expect threads to go off topic. It happens and you can't control it.

Personally, I was surprised to read that you hadn't already tried to gulp (or had done so in error out of habit) when you came back and said your nurse said to go for it. I know that I am a HUGE gulper because I do work out daily and I can't tell you how many times I've put down a few huge swallows before realizing what I had done and had to sprint to the bathroom. It was my assumption (and you know what they say about those) that you had already done that.

Glad to hear that you got some liquids in. I know that's my biggest aggravation in this process. I love water. I love ice cold water and I love being able to chug a bottle in seconds. I get very claustrophobic and irritated when I am thirsty and am limited to sips so I felt your pain.

As for your original question? I couldn't care less about "lecturers". I am 41 years old and while I love the advice and support from most people, those who chose to post in a condescending manner make me giggle because bottom line is, they are nothing but a name on a computer screen in my world.

If I ever feel as if I'm being lectured, I try to think of the person's intentions, and I would say the vast majority of the time here, people mean well and are trying to help. Even if an OP isn't open to feedback, sometimes people weigh in because they want to provide helpful information for others reading a thread (even people who don't post on the thread).

EXACTLY. There is one particular poster that makes me nuts. If she isn't given the exact answer she wants to hear, she reacts as if you just put a hot poker to her vajayjay. I don't post in her threads for her benefit, but for those who have similar issues and might benefit from my experience.

EXACTLY. There is one particular poster that makes me nuts. If she isn't given the exact answer she wants to hear' date=' she reacts as if you just put a hot poker to her vajayjay. I don't post in her threads for her benefit, but for those who have similar issues and might benefit from my experience. [/quote']

Sorry off topic but LMAO!!!!! "Hot poker to her vajayjay" oh my I almost sucked Water down my throat and choked!!!! LOL ouch!!!

That was one of them that I backed off on. You do need to expect threads to go off topic. It happens and you can't control it.

Personally' date=' I was surprised to read that you hadn't already tried to gulp (or had done so in error out of habit) when you came back and said your nurse said to go for it. I know that I am a HUGE gulper because I do work out daily and I can't tell you how many times I've put down a few huge swallows before realizing what I had done and had to sprint to the bathroom. It was my assumption (and you know what they say about those) that you had already done that.

Glad to hear that you got some liquids in. I know that's my biggest aggravation in this process. I love Water. I love ice cold water and I love being able to chug a bottle in seconds. I get very claustrophobic and irritated when I am thirsty and am limited to sips so I felt your pain.

As for your original question? I couldn't care less about "lecturers". I am 41 years old and while I love the advice and support from most people, those who chose to post in a condescending manner make me giggle because bottom line is, they are nothing but a name on a computer screen in my world.[/quote']

I did gulp after that and I actually have no pain.. I must have a sleeve of steel as they say. I should start to look at it like you and not care about the condescending remarks