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Three months pre-op and new to this site! :)

Hi, everyone! My name is Lisa. I'm 43 years old, live in Michigan, and am married, with a 7 year old daughter and a 22 year old stepson. I'm scheduled to have a VSG through St John Providence in August. I'm 5'3" and weighed 225 when I started the process a few months ago.

A little about me: I've been overweight my whole life - "chubby" as a child/teen and just plain fat as an adult. You know how some people can carry excess weight and still look good? Well, I'm not one of those people. Although I'm not much of a snacker and don't get into sweets, I have a terrible time with portion control. I've had bad reflux for about ten years. When I was pregnant in 2005/2006, I started having terrible back and knee pain and developed sleep apnea, too. I ended up with preeclampsia and delivered early. I had been sick most of the pregnancy and the majority of the weight gain was from Water retention, which I lost fairly quickly, but the sleep apnea, back and knee pain never resolved. I ended up with an apron of fat that hangs at my waist (yuck) and a fat deposit at the top of my back that pushes my neck and head forward like a hunchback (I can't tip my head back and look at the ceiling). I'm tired and uncomfortable all the time, and sick of not being able to bend over to tie my shoes. I'm really lucky that my husband loves me enough to give me pretty manicures, but I hate that I can't do it myself. I buy Skecher shoes that don't have laces (gah! I used to laugh at people who wore those!), elastic waist skirts (think: grandma's), and the pictures of me in a bathing suit when my daughter was an infant were the stuff of nightmares. If you look at the scrapbooks I've lovingly created for her, there's not a single photo of me. How sad is that?

I'm excited about the surgery, but worried about being able to change my portion control problem. I swing between being ready to do it RIGHT NOW and thinking maybe I shouldn't do it at all. My husband is very supportive and says that he loves me just the way I am, but wants me to feel better physically and emotionally and he will do whatever I need to help me in that endeavor. However, my parents aren't as supportive and my friends keep saying, "Oh, you don't need to have weight loss surgery." I feel like I'm being pulled in all different directions. And it doesn't help that I'm a little (well, okay - a LOT) resistant to change. You know, that fear of "out of the frying pan, into the fire"?

So, that's me. Anyone out there with thoughts? Similar concerns?

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Welcome!!! I hope to be having surgery sometime in August or Sept as well!!! I started my process in Feb and meet with my surgeon next month.

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Are you excited? Nervous? Both?

More excited than anything

I have not had the surgery yet but boy am I excited and nervous all at the same time!! I'm hoping to have my surgery in early July ( fingers crossed)!

Maybe this can give your mind a little ease- I've been researching WLS for a year now and I finally took the big leap and called my insurance company and attended my first seminar and what an eye opener. My surgeon told us from the time we left that day to the day I have my first consultation to make a list of pros and cons and to write a short paper describing my quality of life that I currently have now. I honestly have to say that I do have some things list on the cons side but there are so many pros I have!! As for my quality of life- i have an amazing and supportive husband and 3 beautiful kids that I love but im not active with them im a side line mom and i hate that. For once I can pictures myself as a healthy, active and maybe even a sexy person!

As for people not being supportive I understand! It sucks but ultimately you have to do what makes you happy and a better wife and mom. There will always be unsupportive people but for everyone that's not supportive there are a handful that will be!! Good luck and hopefully you will find peace about whatever choice you make. :)

  • Author

Thanks, ccbarrick - that's really a good idea to list the pros and cons and to take a good look at what my life is like compared to what I'd like it to be. You put it just right - I don't like being a sldeline mom either. And I do like to daydream about going for a bike ride someday!

I just can't decide whether it's better to not talk about it and then I don't have to deal with the naysayers (but then there is also less support and encouragement),or whether I should be open about it and try to just ignore the pessimists.

I'm in the pre-approval stage, and I know how you feel about the see-saw of emotions...........I was driving my husband nuts last month.......so I've stopped sharing them with him LOL

I haven't shared what I'm doing with people....not sure if I will......My husband wasn't particularly thrilled when we discussed WLS, but after meeeting with the surgeon at the initial meeting, he's been supportive.

I have shared with a few people what I'm doing and what shocked me was one of the people who I thought would be the most supportive was the most negative. She kept telling me to just "try harder" and not to do this to myself, that it would just make me more unhealthy. Luckily I was able to point out to her that it was funny she would talk to me about health while holding her cigarette! But there has also been the other side, people I was reluctant to tell who have been my biggest cheerleaders throughout my pre-op journey. They have never failed to be there to help me when I started doubting myself. Now, I'm 3 days from surgery (May13th) and I can't wait. You have to decide for you whether this is the right journey but we (fellows travelers) are here on the site to try to share our stories to help out. :)

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a Sept date as well. I have 3mths left in my insurance requirements. I meet the surgeon on Aug. 15th. I hope the authorization process is fast and I get a surgery date in September. I am so excited and nervous at the same time.

I was almost having an anxiety attack thinking about living life at a health weight and all the changes that will occur with that. It will definitely be a HUGE change for me. I have been near 160 since I was 13-14yrs old. I'm 35 now.

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