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Why be negative

Kat78

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Kat78    24

Kat78
Posted

Why post negative posts that say that if you can't do this or can't do that you don't deserve to have the sleeve or you will fail??? Can it be proven?? Can it be proven that if you 'cheat' on your preop diet you will fail after surgery? I thought this was a support forum not a knock a person down even farther than what they are already are! Am I perfect? Heck no! But I am trying to change my lifestyle and know what I need to do. I'm sure things might tempt me after surgery, but I know I have to limit myself on things once I hit my goal weight. I come here to get advice for what I will be facing in a few months. Not for someone to tell me if I can't change now I will never change!

Thank you, have a nice day! :)

Kelsan, southernsoul, babybearsmum and 3 others reacted to this

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Arts137    1,811

Arts137
Posted

Gosh, if I've said anything please forgive me. I am no expert and tring to prepare as are we all...

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delta_girl    931

delta_girl
Posted

It's a public forum.

People are people, not robots.

People have a variety of emotions and experiences.

Past failure influences current perspectives for many.

Some ask silly questions that could already be answered by using a search feature.

Depression is real. So is anger. So is joy. So is fear.

When the exact same question or comment is posted for the 100,000th time in one month, it becomes tedious.

Everyone is not an optimist.

Some people are motivated by straight up tough love.

And thousands of other reasons.

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Kat78    24

Kat78
Posted

Gosh, if I've said anything please forgive me. I am no expert and tring to prepare as are we all...

Not you, 2 other posts I read earlier.

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Kat78    24

Kat78
Posted

It's a public forum.

People are people, not robots.

People have a variety of emotions and experiences.

Past failure influences current perspectives for many.

Some ask silly questions that could already be answered by using a search feature.

Depression is real. So is anger. So is joy. So is fear.

When the exact same question or comment is posted for the 100,000th time in one month, it becomes tedious.

Everyone is not an optimist.

Some people are motivated by straight up tough love.

And thousands of other reasons.

I understand all of that, but when I read 2 posts in a row by the same person saying all will fail, it kinda is upsetting.

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college_chick    20

college_chick
Posted

I think there is something to be said though about repetitive cheating. If you've cheated the majority of your pre-op diet then I think that says a lot about the challenges you are going to have after the sleeve. Those of us one the pre-op side think we know what we are getting ourselves into but until we are on "the other side" we have no idea.

The way I see it is this, I not only WANT this surgery but I NEED this surgery and at this point I am willing to do what ever it takes to get this surgery done. I just received a denial on April 30th. I had already started my pre-op diet. Guess who is still sticking with it until approval? I don't have time to wait 2 weeks after approval to get this surgery done because of school. Again this is just my opinion, and I think that if people who have had this sleeve done have something to say I'm willing to listen.

Will I take it as 100% gospel? No. But I will take it under consideration and try to remember WHY I'm willing to take such drastic measures. This isn't reversible and this is definitely not something I can just try out for a while to see if I like it. I am fat because I've made horrible decisions. I need to start making better decisions to not become fat again.

The hunger part of the pre-op SUCKS! I felt like dying the first like week, but every time I wanted to eat something I'd drink 8 oz. Did it cure it? No, but it sure as hell helped. I'm still doing the pre-op diet and it is hard and sucks but this is a change for THE REST OF MY LIFE. 2 weeks isn't even a blip on the radar in comparison.

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delta_girl    931

delta_girl
Posted

I understand all of that' date=' but when I read 2 posts in a row by the same person saying all will fail, it kinda is upsetting.[/quote']

Just block that person's comments. Don't let anything said here make you upset. It's a great big arena of input. Sometimes you just have to have a sense of humor about some of it.

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browniejan    20

browniejan
Posted

I think if doing or not doing something would prevent a person from having the surgery theywould make

sure it was understood before hand. I was suggested a diet a month ago but it wasn't in stone that I had to follow. I was told to do the best I can to try to shrink liver some. I have a for sure 1 day liquid diet before that I know I have to follow or I won't be able to have the surgery at the scheduled time. That I will definetly do.

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Kat78    24

Kat78
Posted

I think there is something to be said though about repetitive cheating. If you've cheated the majority of your pre-op diet then I think that says a lot about the challenges you are going to have after the sleeve. Those of us one the pre-op side think we know what we are getting ourselves into but until we are on "the other side" we have no idea.

The way I see it is this, I not only WANT this surgery but I NEED this surgery and at this point I am willing to do what ever it takes to get this surgery done. I just received a denial on April 30th. I had already started my pre-op diet. Guess who is still sticking with it until approval? I don't have time to wait 2 weeks after approval to get this surgery done because of school. Again this is just my opinion, and I think that if people who have had this sleeve done have something to say I'm willing to listen.

Will I take it as 100% gospel? No. But I will take it under consideration and try to remember WHY I'm willing to take such drastic measures. This isn't reversible and this is definitely not something I can just try out for a while to see if I like it. I am fat because I've made horrible decisions. I need to start making better decisions to not become fat again.

The hunger part of the pre-op SUCKS! I felt like dying the first like week, but every time I wanted to eat something I'd drink 8 oz. Did it cure it? No, but it sure as hell helped. I'm still doing the pre-op diet and it is hard and sucks but this is a change for THE REST OF MY LIFE. 2 weeks isn't even a blip on the radar in comparison.

I'm sure it does suck. And I am trying to transition myself into having 2-3 Protein drinks a day and a nice meal for dinner. And that's what I am learning. Drink more Water and I'm not as hungry. Yes, I am learning how hard it is but I don't want to make someone feel bad because there was a tiny slip for one day. I had to much negativity when I was married and no support. Why would I want to make someone feel like that? I can't and won't I guess.

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college_chick    20

college_chick
Posted

I'm also not saying you are doomed to fail if you cheat but I look at it as something to reflect on because this surgery isn't going to magically take away my relationship with food. I've messed up, hell I got horrible news last night and went out and sought comfort in food. Am I mad at myself? Yea. Is it something I need to change? Yes. Do I think I'm going to fail with the sleeve? Not if I learn from my mistakes. I think previous comments were meant more for those who are scared about cheating the majority of their pre-op. That might say a lot about the challenges they may face later.

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Kelsan    117

Kelsan
Posted

i know the particlular situation(s) the Op is talking about, and I agree. we can all have an opinion without being indignant or rude. Tough love is one thing, nasty, is another.

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Kat78    24

Kat78
Posted

i know the particlular situation(s) the Op is talking about, and I agree. we can all have an opinion without being indignant or rude. Tough love is one thing, nasty, is another.

Thank you :) !

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luckysmomma    407

luckysmomma
Posted

I hear you on the negative...I just skip such posts & go on to more supportive and helpful posts. I didn't notice how long how you have been on this site...I joined in February before my surgery. I pretty much recognize the continually rude, disrespectful, nonsupportive, and very negative people's screen names now....I don't even read their posts or private messages...I just skip on to the next. This site is to help people not hurt people, in my opinion.

I wish you the best of luck. Do what is best for you. Take care!

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Ms skinniness    3,003

Ms skinniness
Posted

Gosh, everyone cheats in one way or another. When we cheat, we get up and brush ourselves off and get back on track. We all have bad days, some days are worst than others. But we get back on track and move on. We learn from it. Some people put things bluntly and some like to butter it up. I sometimes say things bluntly and I don't mean to be rude either. :)

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Jessiegurl2686    104

Jessiegurl2686
Posted

Yea.... I posted earlier about cheating twice and now in getting hounded saying why am I even getting the sleeve if Incant even do pre op diet .... Sorta upsetting I'm using this sorta as a diary.... Not for rude comments

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    • Alisa_S

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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