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What would the boy/girl you were at 18... think of the MAN/WOMAN you are today?



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Yet another thought provoking question from Telly!

I think she would be shocked and happy. Shocked that I ever let myself get as big as I did and that I basically had to start over from scratch earlier this year with selling my house and moving into an apartment to get stabilized financially and pay off debt. Also shocked at my career. She would be happy to see I have been happily married for 6 1/2 years with a precious 19 month old son. I think all in all she would be proud that I am generally happy!

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I really like this question! Well, I am only five years older than my 18 years old self, but a lot has happened since then! My eighteen year old self would be surpised that a long term relationship of seven years did not last and actually turned into an abusive relationship. She would NOT be surprised that I am a middle school teacher and that I now live in DeKalb, IL instead of Roselle, IL. She would not be happy about how heavy that I have gotten, even though I was about a 16/18 back then, but she would be shocked that I had WLS! I wonder what my 23 year old self will think of lets say my 30 year old self!

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How about you, Telly?

Kat.

The 18 year old me would think that the 30 year old me (today) is and has become a true "survivor" and a much better mother.

The 18 year old me would be surprised that we went and graduated from college despite the lack of support.

My 18 yr old self would be in shock b/c she thought that we'd be a single mother forever and loving it, to marrying again and creating a new family and loving it.

The 18 year old me would be disappointed that the 30 year old me moved around the country, too far from her family. She'd be upset that I didn't live closer to dad..where I could have taken better care of him before he passed.

The 20 year old me would be surprised at we were still alive and not in some ditch with our face to the ground and still, at the rate we were going.

The 26 year old me would think that the 30 year old me has finally grown up and become wiser in the past 4 years.

She'd be proud and very shocked that the 30 year old me was business savvy and an entrepeneur just like dad, from never being able to hold down a job for more than a year (out of boredom).

She'd be very disappointed that I gained over 100lbs but proud that I did something about it.

All in all....the 18, 20, 26 year old me would be ashamed at alot of the decisions she made through the years, but happy at how those decisions molded me into the woman I am today.

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I don't think the 18 y/o girl I was then is much different then the 44 y/o woman I am today. That is besides the weight gain. But even that may not be such a suprise to her. I remember one summer at camp the preacher was doing a teaching on marriage. He said guys look at your girls mom - thats what your wife will look like when she is her age. Bingo! I've become my mother! Seriously tho - at 18 I weighed 103 today I weigh 220 - at 22 when I was pg with my first child I remember be SO embarrassed because I weighed 160! I don't think that 18 y/o girl would ever believe she would gain over 100 lbs. I remember after my 2nd child weighing 125 and talking to my doctor about it - my goal is 150 - yeah she'd be a bit suprised by the weight gain. As far as all the other stuff - life has gone as planned. I married my love at the ripe young age of 17, we've been married 27 years - have 3 beautiful healthy happy drugfree children - and a job I love. I gave my life to the Lord at 22 and I believe He has kept me and I have no regrets - I was married 5 years before the first baby - stay at home mom for 12 years - worked part-time until just 5 years ago and love my job. I am happy & content.

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Wow, what a "thinking" question.....

My 18yr old self 1st would be totally shocked and embarrassed that I have gained so much weight.

The 18yr old would be shocked that the 40 yr old enjoys staying home on Friday nights instead of hitting the town dancing. The 18yr old would be shocked with who I married, he is not the jock/athletic type I always dated at 18, but the outdoors mans man type. The 18yr old would be shocked I have two kids and really enjoy being a mom.

But all in all the 18 yr old would realize that I am a good person, but am quite a bit different than I was at 18.

I love everything about my 40 yr old life (except my body) and I loved everything about my 18 yr old life, they are both totally different, but enjoyed/enjoying them both!

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Well, hi everyone, this is my 1st post...I must say, what a thought provoking question.

Well, my 18 yr. old self really isn't too far from my 38 yr old self, just in years, but not in spirit. I think though if the 18 yr old me would have known that her mom would be in the middle of Alzheimer's disease with no memories of their family, and her dad being gone shortly after, she might have taken a bit more time to remember & cherish the time together they had.

Also, the 18yr old would be shocked about not having kids & not marrying until in her mid 30s. Otherwise...the planner the 18yr old was has achieved many of the goals she set out to do and loves every minute of it. :)

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Welcome Slikchik10

Sorry to hear about your family tragedies...thankyou for sharing.

:*(

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If I had a snapshot of me now, at 35, obese and unmarried, sitting on my couch in my pajamas with my dogs... I think initially I would think this was A TERRIBLE and PATHETIC FATE. I would see that picture as all of the things I am NOT.

When I was 18 I thought that my worth was measured only by my accomplishments. If I didn't acheive a goal, I felt like an unworthy failure.

I have definitely learned since the age of 18 that my worth depends on a whole lot of other factors other than accomplishments. I have also learned that a glimpse rarely tells the whole story. At 35, I am a complex, hopeful, accomplished woman with faith in God, myself and the people in my life. And certainly worthy. If I could communicate that to my 18 year old self, I think that would give my 18 year old self an overwhelming sense of RELIEF.

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The 18 year old me would be surprised that I am still alive at 54 (with my family history and self destructive things I did). She would be surprised that I'm an account manager for an insurance agency instead of in the medical field. She would be sad that I could never have my own biological children, but happy that I found a wonderful husband with 2 daughters that he and his first wife share with me, and that the girls consider me a parent as much as the two of them.

And I think she would think of me like my youngest daughter does, fun, young and really cool...her words!!!!

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She would be absolutely shocked that I got my shit together. And shocked at how happy I am. And that I have a family. Amazed that I am in a healthy relationship and know how to have healthy relationships. And that I'm not suicidal anymore.

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The 18 yr old would be surprised that I am still here, alive and thriving. Young Anita would also be proud of many things:

  • that I found some self-esteem and confidence
  • that a plain-looking, 4-eyed cheerleader would become a beautiful spirit of a woman. Plain-looking is okay!
  • surprised that I still have acne, at 47
  • that I would lose my brother, husband, father, and grandma and still keep wanting to live
  • the Master's degree earned after the death of my husband, with goal of Phd
  • that I have run a training and consulting business for umpteen years
  • that I am a quirky, goofy, silly lady with a really high IQ
  • that I would overcome rejection, sexual and domestic abuse, and I refuse to tolerate it
  • that I would find my own identity (eventually), no matter how controlling and critical my Mother is
  • that I learned to live well with Bipolar illness
  • most of all, that I would have this beautiful, precious daughter, who would grow up to be a beautiful, brilliant woman. She gave me a reason to live when I ran out of reasons!:clap2:

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I would be really upset, embarrassed and sick. I was always at 5'8" around 130 pounds until about 5 years ago. I was given a basketball scholarship, played softball, and all kind of sports. I was in great shape, then I just let myself gain, gain, and did I say gain. I know I will never even get close to that again but with my band I can try to get as close as possible.

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My 18-yr-old self would be surprised that I really DO care about all the damage I did getting those great tans of my youth!

When cautioned about those deep-rose, baby oil burns I specifically remember thinking, "What'll I care if I have wrinkles when I'm 50?"

DOH!

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DevilMayKare.... I laughed out loud on that one!

I remember my iodine and baby oil self made suntan oil... and I certainly care now too.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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