To tell or not to tell

[luckysmomma 407]

How's that working out for you?

Not telling anyone was the best decision I made in this terrible choice I made of having wls! If my friends & family knew - on top of how I am already feeling - I'd be full of more regret than I already am! "thanks" for asking!

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

LOL.. This subject comes up every couple weeks. Fact is.. Everyone is different... PERIOD!

Like Laura stated... You should not do this journey without support of someone close to you (and us, of course). Obviously, I told my husband and my adult kids, my family I tutor and oddly their relatives, but only because I spend so much time with them.

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,145]

Not telling anyone was the best decision I made in this terrible choice I made of having wls! If my friends & family knew - on top of how I am already feeling - I'd be full of more regret than I already am! "thanks" for asking!

But don't they wonder and worry about why you're isolating yourself from them like you previously mentioned? They cannot be there for you 100%. They don't know how. Just my thoughts...

[skintowin 21]

I have told everyone! It was the best decision I've made. Not one person has made a negative comment to me. For me, I was extremely confident in my choice for the surgery and I think it showed when I made my announcement to my family. Now, yes my family was worried but they knew I did my homework and I gave them all the info they needed.

I also could not imagine going back to work after being off for 3 weeks and being 30 lbs lighter and no one being curious. I'd rather them ask me what I did then them discuss it behind my back.

I would have never made it with out the support from my family and friends and work. I'm not embarrassed, I pretty sure they knew I was fat. Lol

I have been out to dinner, out to bars and my social life has not changed one bit. Since everyone knows they are no questions when I order Water at the bar or Soup for dinner.< /p>

With all that said, I do respect those that choose to be private, it's just not in me to keep such a great thing in my life private.

[nume2013 10]

My surgery is April 16. So far, I have told my husband, adult daughter and my immediate family (parents and siblings). My sister had the sleeve in January so she and my husband will be my primary support group. My parents reacted negatively to her when she told them about her upcoming surgery but now that they have seen how well she is doing, they are supportive for me. At work, I just told them I was having hiatal hernia surgery and needed time off. I didn't want any negative reactions. After the surgery p, I don't think I will mind telling those who ask how I am losing the weight, but only time will tell.

[Mary6013 6]

Before my surgery I only told family and close friends because i too didnt want to deal with negative reponses. I slowly have been telling people since I was two months out. It has surprised me how many respond that they know someone who has had WLS or have had it themselves r are thinking about it.

[Itsme! 98]

Only my husband and two close coworkers/pseudo-mothers know. Oh, and I told my second sister yesterday. (God only knows who my husband has told). All are supportive and excited for me, more so now that I have a date. I told my boss I need a day off for an endoscopy to check for hiatal hernia. I got to thinking today and feel bad I didn't tell her the truth. She'll think I'm crazy but she'll also be supportive.

[Mary6013 6]

Only my husband and two close coworkers/pseudo-mothers know. Oh, and I told my second sister yesterday. (God only knows who my husband has told). All are supportive and excited for me, more so now that I have a date. I told my boss I need a day off for an endoscopy to check for hiatal hernia. I got to thinking today and feel bad I didn't tell her the truth. She'll think I'm crazy but she'll also be supportive.

I felt bad lying to people too......I think that's why I am ok now with telling people if they ask. Everyone has been very supportive so they helps too.

[skintowin 21]

I felt bad lying to people too......I think that's why I am ok now with telling people if they ask. Everyone has been very supportive so they helps too.

I'm such a big mouth I would never be able to keep up the lie. Lol. So I had to tell people ha

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,145]

Whether you tell or not is up to the individual, but i don't think you should lie.

[cal222 4]

Thanks to all of you who replied. I agree it is a very personal issue. I am thinking as I get closer to setting a date things will fall into place and I will be able to make the best decision for me. The whole idea and process of wls is kind of frightening on one hand and exciting on the other. I guess I need to process all of the information that I have been reading and try and relax about it!

[muneca1029 117]

I have chosen to tell my mother and my husband that's it! @ work I'm telling them I'm having a hiatal hernia surgery. Lately they have seen I'm going to doctor a lot and also I received a call where they told me i have sleep apnea and of course one of my coworkers was lisening and asked me why I was going to docs so much and what was wrong I just said it was general check ups and that my sleep apnea study was recommended by my PCP, as u can see they question me a lot and I'm trying to keep it as simple as possible. Also my family are very judgmental and feel that if I say something they are going to start talking BS... Sometimes people are very jealous of good things coming for someone, not everyone is like that but mostly every1 is, I've learned that the hard way and things come out the way we want them when no one knows @ least until after its done

[Pammers Johnson 20]

I've only been telling a few close friends one by one. I havnt told my mom or mother in law. And havnt told one of my daughters until it gets closer as she's a worry wart and in nursing school. Only one of my siblings knows, he had the sleeve in Nov. it's easy for me as all my family lives in different states. I'm a nurse and embarrassed, angry, ashamed that I've gained so much wt. I feel like a hypocrite talking to patients about their high cholesterol and high B/P when I myself suffer from the same problems.

So I will answer questions honestly when asked. "How have you been losing wt?" I'll simply tell them; "the old fashioned way, I'm eating less!"

In all sincerity, it's getting easier to share as my surgery date is getting closer and I'm getting more excited...it seems I'm becoming less ashamed and more empowered. This certainly isn't an "easy way out" it's pretty darn drastic and I'm worth it!

[taylokat 180]

I've only been telling a few close friends one by one. I havnt told my mom or mother in law. And havnt told one of my daughters until it gets closer as she's a worry wart and in nursing school. Only one of my siblings knows' date=' he had the sleeve in Nov. it's easy for me as all my family lives in different states. I'm a nurse and embarrassed, angry, ashamed that I've gained so much wt. I feel like a hypocrite talking to patients about their high cholesterol and high B/P when I myself suffer from the same problems.

So I will answer questions honestly when asked. "How have you been losing wt?" I'll simply tell them; "the old fashioned way, I'm eating less!"

In all sincerity, it's getting easier to share as my surgery date is getting closer and I'm getting more excited...it seems I'm becoming less ashamed and more empowered. This certainly isn't an "easy way out" it's pretty darn drastic and I'm worth it![/quote']

I'm a nurse too, and chose to tell just my husband and three children. I decided at the last minute to tell one of my brothers and gave him permission to tell his wife, also a nurse. I'm so glad I did because I almost bled to death on the table. My spleen was enlarged and boggy and it tore. He was able to stop the bleeding without removing my spleen but I lost 1300mls of blood. They drew a CBC from my foot since that was the only area not in the sterile field. Hb dropped to 8.3 intra-op. The gave me a unit of blood, plasma expander and 4 liters of L/R. I can't imagine if I had died and my husband and children would have to bear the brunt of telling everyone. I had taken just one week off from work ( I told them I had the time so I was taking a random week off). Now I don't know when I can go back to work but its gonna be hard to continue to keep this private.

[Slimchic2013 3]

This is a decision that's based on the people in ur life. If u have supportive folks who know your struggles then tell who ur comfy with. Only my hubby & 2 cleanest female friends know. I have a co-worker I would love to share with as we used to workout together, but she's very against any WLS. Granted, she's 100+ lbs overweight.

I can't lose all my weight thru just diet n excercise so I chose WLS as a permanent tool to help me achieve my goal.