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This is my life..... Just get over it.. right?!?!



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Sip, Sip, sip.....

What can I eat?

will it hurt my tummy?

yes it hurts my tummy? Everything hurts!

9 out of 10 days are bad food days!

Invited to eat lunch with a friend... Oh what can I eat.. oh yeah, I can't eat anything in a social setting!

Invited to dinner with friends... I'll order food just move it around my plate... get a to go box.... order Water just so I don't look silly! Remember I can't eat in a social setting!

Must eat alone so I can concentrate on how big of a bite, how I must chew, chew, chew!

Constant bloating and gas! Gas X goes every where with me!

Waking up every single night since surgery at 3 am ish so nauseous.... must keep water by my bed... helps the nausea

Invited for drinks with friends... Oh what can I drink? No beer.... nothing too sweet! Oh crap! What I did drink hurts my stomach... Sorry friends to break up the party I must go home.... I am sick... AGAIN!

Sex? What is that? Non exsistant is what it is! Weak, tired, eating, drinking, bloating, gas is what I think about not sex!

My hair is falling out by the handfulls!

My life as I knew it gone.... I am becoming a recluse! It's just too stresful putting myself out there!

But ya know what.... I am getting skinny!!!!! And isn't that the only thing that matters?!?!

Happiness, contentment, a social life, a marriage...... who needs all that when you have skinny!! Right?!?! :wacko:

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It sounds like you are still putting to much emphasis on food. I say that because you can still enjoy social activities that don't revolve around food! Try asking your friends to do something that's not going out to dinner!

I don't know.. I've gone out to dinner and social events a lot. And I make it about conversation and being out in the world with a far improved comfort level in myself..

Oh and yes my hair is thinning my stomach has a mind of its own sometimes.. But I am getting healthy (skinny I don't know) and happy in my ability to move with ease through life now

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Oh my!! I'm sorry you are going through that all. I have not had any of theses problems and I'm getting skinnier. Matter of fact on the contrary. Sex is so much better now that I'm skinnier. food is appreciated more. I can eat just about anything and not have any problems. As far as drinks.... Sure no beer but I bring my Chrystal light and ask for a tall glass of vodka, Water and line and add my CL to that and I'm good for the night!! I get chicken wings (non breaded of course) and nibble on those although I haven't been able to eat more than three but I take the rest home. I haven't lost hair but I use Bosley products and take my Biotin to prevent that. It's about being proactive and staying super positive. That's the key to success!!!! Best wishes to you!! Keep your head held high and smile!!! You will get through this!!!!

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Wow, you sound like a big ball of anxiety right now......

Try to relax more and concentrate on what you can eat, chewing many many times and taking bites after brief conversation with friends and family. You can do this. If you must, order something from the side menu that is something your tummy can handle.....You can do this and must actually.....hang in there, it gets much better. Try and not think about all the little stuff.... :)

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Sip, Sip, sip.....

What can I eat?

will it hurt my tummy?

yes it hurts my tummy? Everything hurts!

9 out of 10 days are bad food days!

Invited to eat lunch with a friend... Oh what can I eat.. oh yeah, I can't eat anything in a social setting!

Invited to dinner with friends... I'll order food just move it around my plate... get a to go box.... order Water just so I don't look silly! Remember I can't eat in a social setting!

Must eat alone so I can concentrate on how big of a bite, how I must chew, chew, chew!

Constant bloating and gas! Gas X goes every where with me!

Waking up every single night since surgery at 3 am ish so nauseous.... must keep Water by my bed... helps the nausea

Invited for drinks with friends... Oh what can I drink? No beer.... nothing too sweet! Oh crap! What I did drink hurts my stomach... Sorry friends to break up the party I must go home.... I am sick... AGAIN!

Sex? What is that? Non exsistant is what it is! Weak, tired, eating, drinking, bloating, gas is what I think about not sex!

My hair is falling out by the handfulls!

My life as I knew it gone.... I am becoming a recluse! It's just too stresful putting myself out there!

But ya know what.... I am getting skinny!!!!! And isn't that the only thing that matters?!?!

Happiness, contentment, a social life, a marriage...... who needs all that when you have skinny!! Right?!?! :wacko:

I'm so sorry you are struggling. How far out are you?

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Djsacco, sorry you're going through this, when was your surgery? I haven't had surgery yet & I'm a ball of nerves! :wacko:

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Your hair is falling out because you are not getting enough Protein. 60-80% of your daily intake should be in protein. Go to GNC and buy a 12 pack of their Protein Shake and drink that all day long. If you drink 2 bottles a day you will still lose weight plus your hair will stop falling out. It will also relieve some of your tummy problems. When you're ready, I'll show you how to mix powder protein with all your nasty Vitamins and protonics and still win. GNC has a protein shake that was made for us bariatric pts. It's very high in protein and only 4 sugars. That's outstanding, you can't get better, and it tastes really good. Especially the chocolate. Lost weight all the while I was on it. As soon as I tried eating food, everything stopped. For some reason some of us are not doing well with food. It's been 3.5 mo. for me and I still can't tolerate food. I've got a call in to my dietician, I'm hop

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Why is that your life? I go out with friends, I eat and drink with friends, maybe not as much as I used to, but I don't miss anything in life because of the restriction. I mean if you're in week one...that's a different story, but even then I could order Soup in a restaurant (french onion was a fav).

Honey I have life long complications from this stupid surgery and I don't have the mind set you're wandering in. You HAVE to shake that off and if that means counseling then go and find some so that you can enjoy your life and your weight loss. There's no reason to be where you are mentally!

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Whoa.. Someone needs to shake like a wet dog and get rid of the pessimism!

I'm sorry you are feeling so depressed and hope you can obtain the help you need.. Either from a support group or here. Your mind set is all wrong

We all went into this journey with the goal of weight loss for a healthier self. Not knowing how far post-op you are it's tough. I really hope things get better for you.

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Hmmm ... just over 2 months out from surgery ... obviously your expectations where FAR larger than your reality. Perhaps some more research prior to surgery may have helped to right-size your expectations, but alas, here we are. Let's take a look at your "complaints":

Sip, Sip, sip....

  • This is true. You are not going to be able to chug liquids like you may have been accustomed to, but as time progresses, you will move out of the sip stage

What can I eat?

will it hurt my tummy?

yes it hurts my tummy? Everything hurts!

9 out of 10 days are bad food days!

  • 2 months out, you should be out of puree stage and eating real foods. If it hurts, this is your body's way of letting you know that you are doing something wrong. Either: taking too big of bites, not chewing well enough, eating too quickly, or a combination of all three. Yes, you are going to have to change that. We can no longer shovel food down our throat. Take a small bite, put your utensil down, chew well and evaluate how your stomach feels before taking another bite. Just because there is food on your plate in front of you doesn't mean you have to eat it. When you put your portion on your plate, start putting half of the amount on it. You can always go back and get another bit.

Invited to eat lunch with a friend... Oh what can I eat.. oh yeah, I can't eat anything in a social setting!

Invited to dinner with friends... I'll order food just move it around my plate... get a to go box.... order Water just so I don't look silly! Remember I can't eat in a social setting!

  • It is amazing to read so many threads with this similar theme. Trust me, people really aren't watching what and how much you eat. You and your eating habits really aren't the focus of everyone else's life. I know it feels that way now since food and its consumption is the focus of our lives, but everybody else really doesn't care. If someone does mention something, just say you just really aren't that hungry right now. I always ordered Soup early on when out with friends and co-workers. Went out several times and people never really mentioned anything about my eating.

Must eat alone so I can concentrate on how big of a bite, how I must chew, chew, chew!

  • Uh ... it does take practice to learn new habits, but this isn't as difficult as riding a bike, so, yes, you can practice this in public.

Constant bloating and gas! Gas X goes every where with me!

Waking up every single night since surgery at 3 am ish so nauseous.... must keep Water by my bed... helps the nausea

  • What are you eating? Are you eating late night? Do you eat prior to laying down? Seeing that you say eating is painful, try eating less more often. Talk to your Dr about getting a PPI.

Invited for drinks with friends... Oh what can I drink? No beer.... nothing too sweet! Oh crap! What I did drink hurts my stomach... Sorry friends to break up the party I must go home.... I am sick... AGAIN!

  • There are far more non-fizzy drinks out there than not. You can figure this out. If you really can't, let me know. I bar-tended for years through college.

Sex? What is that? Non exsistant is what it is! Weak, tired, eating, drinking, bloating, gas is what I think about not sex!

  • What do they say ... 75% of sex happens between the ears? Looking at your current state of mind, this is not surprising. Once you right-size your expectations, put on your big-girl pants and start embracing your new life, this will change.

My hair is falling out by the handfulls!

  • Yup. Good to know you are normal in this area. It will continue for the next couple months and then it will start growing back. A year from now you will never know it happened. And no, your co-workers are not gathering at the water cooler discussing your hair. I know we would all like to think we are the center of everyone else's life, but I have bad news for you ... you're not.

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Thanks so much for all the words of encouragement! I am 10 weeks out! I always get down like this after I have several days in a row of what I call "food hates me days" It's Water, it's anything i put in my mouth! I get frustrated and exhausted!

No I do not eat late at night! I try to stay on the eat a little bit every 3 hours rule. I try to follow the rules. when it doesn't work that's when I get whiny and frustrated! I knew you guys here would have words to get me out of this funk! You are all correct!

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Sometimes a little venting is good for the mind, especially if there are purple around to remind you how it is and that it will get better. :)

Hopefully sometime will be around to pick me up when I'm whiny in a few months!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-T989 using VST

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That sucks that you can't eat out with friends. I have been able to. I just look for healthy options and eat some small amount of it. No one thinks twice about it. Then again every single on of my friends knows what I'm doing, shoot I put in on Facebook. So no one really even questions what I'm doing. That would suck. But like some have said find other things to do other than going out for food. I hope you find some balance I feel like a million bucks.

As for the skinny thing I didn't do this to get skinny, sure that is a nice side affect but I did it not to die of a heart attack in a few years.

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I can remember those days! I DID go out to eat - and was trying to "hide" the fact that I had had the surgery! lol I did do a lot of pushing food around but refried Beans became my best friend at Mexican Restaurants. Soup at others. THIS TOO SHALL PASS! Many a time, I excused myself and went to the BR to "slime" or even throw up. But, I admit, because I was losing so quickly and enjoying the loss, I was able to deal with it okay. I did not have nausea at night, but I did get extremely light headed and one night got up from bed, passed out, cut my lip open and woke up to my husband shouting over me! (smile) Again, THIS TOO SHALL PASS. It's like other things in life - we learn to "deal" or it takes care of itself at some point. You will NEVER be able to "eat out" and enjoy food (and that's really the problem, isn't it?) like you did and that's why we all wound up fat and sick. But, boy, you CAN feel great is those smaller size clothes, and the compliments you will receive along with the much improved health.

Hang in there, Girlfriend! THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

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I have to say, everyone says Sex is better being thinner but Ive has thin sex, fat sex and thinner 43 lbs less sex and its the same. Maybe its my partner lol. Ive been married 19 years to the same man but wouldnt trade him in for a gazillion years unless Nikki Sixx comes a knockin lol. Its all the same to me, still good.

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      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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