Coping...

[ShouldBlittler 89]

ShouldBlittler' date=' so sorry to hear about your moms illness, and sending best thoughts to her and the family.[/quote']

Thank you. My mom died on April 14. I am heartbroken. I am afraid that I'm going to gain my weight back, because she was a real inspiration for me losing weight in the first place. She always worried about my weight. Since she died, my life has not been as scheduled. That is to say, I've been off schedule. Workouts are getting missed, and meals are all over the place. I need some coping skills.

[ShouldBlittler 89]

I lost my mom from cancer in 1993. I was only 21 yrs old. To me it was the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life. Go and be with her every minute of everyday if you can. The hardest thing I learned at that time is they never come back.

Funny how perspective changes everything. This part of your post jumps out at me now. For some reason I didn't fully grasp "never coming back." Now I do.

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

So sorry

When my brother passed away from cancer I realized when it hurts it means he lived a good life.. A life where he was so loved and gave that love in return. I wouldn't hurt if he wasn't an important part of my happy life. My hurt and heartache is a small price to pay for having the opportunity to have him in my life. I hope you understand this comment as being as remarkable as I did a couple years ago

[ShouldBlittler 89]

So sorry

When my brother passed away from cancer I realized when it hurts it means he lived a good life.. A life where he was so loved and gave that love in return. I wouldn't hurt if he wasn't an important part of my happy life. My hurt and heartache is a small price to pay for having the opportunity to have him in my life. I hope you understand this comment as being as remarkable as I did a couple years ago

Thanks. That IS TRUE. Tonight I was eating and eating.... I am afraid of this slippery slope!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Did she do any volunteer work? or have any special causes she supported? Perhaps you could pick up her good work in some way, instead of using food to drown your sorrow... that would have made her very happy. I know how hard it is to put down the fork when it is temporarily numbing the pain... perhaps planning lots of not too dangerous treats for your days for a while... stack them up in the fridge for easy access... and write down everything you eat, even if you really would rather not. It does help and when you can pull in the reigns, you will.

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

I lost my younger sis/BFF to breast cancer 6 years ago. It was devastating and cam just a few years after losing our beloved mother.

I don't have any wisdom to share as it still hurts me deeply except to suggest that you can best honor her memory by remembering how supportive she was of your weight loss and how much she wants you to care for yourself. Honor her by caring for yourself now.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I am so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself as grieve the loss of your beloved mother - treat yourself like you know she would want. hugs.

[Ballermom 803]

Praying for you

[ShouldBlittler 89]

Thank you... I am having a hard time with will power, I must admit...

[feedyoureye 3,087]

It is very hard to rely solely on will power... take the time to prepare, or ask someone to do it for you...... healthy single serving Snacks, single serving frozen meals, bottles of Water in the fridge, Whatever it is that makes your life a little easier. Best of luck, these times are so hard.

[Escape_Pod 358]

I'm so sorry for your loss, our moms leave such a huge gap in our lives when they're gone, especially if you were blessed enough to have been really close to her.

Be as patient and kind to yourself as you can. Maybe you can think of some little things you'll find comforting - music you enjoy, a hot bath, a cup of tea, a walk if the weather's nice. food has been a coping mechanism for me as well, and at two years post-op I'm struggling with bad habits again, so I do understand. I think it's easier to replace rather than resist an unproductive coping mechanism if you can.

Hugs,

Beth