Hello to you all! I wasn't sure if I posted this is the right place, so forgive my duplicate entries. This is my first time here. I am so glad I have found this site and have been sitting here for the past 3 hours just reading all of your posts. I'll try and keep it short. The "big fat girl" mentioned in the title is how my 12 year old daughter describes herself on a daily basis. She is in the 6th grade and currently weighs approximately 170lbs. She has been a "big girl" since birth, always in the 95th percentile or more for her age/height. She has two brothers one older and one younger who can and do eat for 5 people and not show any of it! She has always been very active in sports and has many friends. Softball during the summer, volleyball and Basketball during the Fall and Winter. During her 4th grade year all hell broke loose and I began to realize how much her weight was affecting her in all aspects of her life. Physically, emotionally, mentally, etc. She would sneak food in her room and binge probably more then I was aware of, shopping for school clothes was a nightmare that ended almost as soon as it began, her in tears and me feeling helpless. None of the "in clothes" come in a size 18+, consequently we began to see a counselor and nutritionist.Her 5th grade year I made a decision to enroll her and her younger brother in a private school for 2 reasons.The biggest of the 2 was Everyone wears the same thing. Uniforms!! Up until the other day I thought things were going alright. Meaning she didn't bring up how "fat" she was as often or come home from school crying as much.We still had "those days" but they didn't seem to happen as often.

That all changed the other night when she totally lost control and threatened to kill herself, holding a knife to her throat in front of her younger brother who is 10. She said she didn't want to live anymore and was tired of being fat. That none of the diets "they said would work" do any good and she just wants to die!!! That made two of us. My heart broke that night and I haven't been the same since. I immediately took her to the ER and we talked with a Social worker until she calmed down. I didn't know what else to do. I have since been reading up on the lap band procedure and have been trying to find a physician that will help me and my daughter. So far all I get, is to do what we've been doing for two !*(^&!! years!!! Diet, exercise, therapy....blah,blah,blah.... H E L L O ? Are you hearing me..My 12 year old wants to DIE !!!!! When I discussed the suicidal gestures and asked about prescribing a diet aid, and antidepressants with her regular pediatrician, she had the balls to tell me that my daughter just needed to continue therapy and that she was "healthy really". HEALTHY? I'm sorry, was I describing her brother? HEALTHY? ...Ahem....Besides being overweight, asthmatic, depressed, suicidal, self esteem and body image of negative zero and increasing her risks for other problems such as heart diesease and diabetes (which runs in the family) Yeah, she's as healthy as she can possibly &!@#! be! GEEZ US! That was our last visit with her needless to say. So here I am. I can't begin to tell you all, the total despair and helplessness I feel daily. I have even thought about putting her on diet pills, but know deep down that isn't a real option and a temporary fix, but I am desperate. The temporary fix would at least be "a start" .. something she could see. Are those risks any greater then all the ones she is currently facing? I mean seriously! So here it is in a nutshell. Wondering if we'd have better luck going out of the States? Can any one out there relate to what I am going through? What my 12 year old baby is going through? Any and all replies, comments or suggestions are greatly appreciated. Physican referrals would be great! Thanks for listening. <!-- / message -->

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In was that child/teenager too. And I tried suicide. It is so hard to be different at that age. I felt like a freak and that I didn't fit in anywhere.

The day I had my surgery Dr. Ortiz was banding a teenager. Both parents were there with her, and they all seemed very happy with the decision.

Maybe by having something positive to look forward to, and starting to lose weight and feeling better about herself physically, it will give her the strength, courage, and self confidence to deal with the mental issues she is going through. My heart goes out to you. I am glad she has a mom who is so willing to be part of the solution, and that you are not focussing on the negative or ignoring that there is an issue. God Bless.