I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

Okay, so have any of you tried to edit a post, and you get all of these smiley faces? And, I cant edit, and it messed up my post and ran it all together. LOL oh well. That last post was for SmilingApple too. I am going to go watch the meteor shower now, ttyl.

Kris

New toy alert! Ok this is the last big toy of the summer. I couldn't stop myself I had to try them!

Kangoo Jumps NIB Size 10 mens, ladies 11 (Black & GRAY) - (item 320144719704 end time Aug-12-07 18:58:24 PDT)

JC

You know what.........You deserve your Kangoojumps! Splurge some more if you feel the need. You are entitled!

KristiB, are you an RT? I can't think of anyone having such knowledge of fluoroscopy and barium who isn't!

I've been an RT for 14 years, but the last 12 have been in interventional radiology.

BTW, I just found this thread and cannot read all those pages, but am a happily divorced 34 year old white female from Knoxville, TN with one 11-year-old daughter, 2 cats and a puppy!

JC, you are buying all sorts of new toys lately. I'm jealous!! :girl_hug:

Hi everyone,

I am still in Arizona with my dad. I have managed to not gain any

weight while I have been here. I have been really careful. My dad likes

to eat dinner out every evening but I have done well with choosing band

friendly foods so I don't get something stuck in front of him.

JC, I am so sorry to hear you are still having trouble. Is your band slipped? I tried to read back through all the pages to find out what's going on, but I only found where you said you had to go in Sept. and might have to have it removed.

I am glad to hear some of you sound really happy with your new boyfriends. The band really changes our lives!!

I am really hating the library computers. There must be too many computers networked together because it takes forever to get the page to come up. I will check back Thurs. All of tomorrow will be spent hanging out in the Portland airport with a huge layover. I am hoping to get on an earilier flight by flying standby.

Talk to everyone thurs!

I know DerbyGirl my toy chest is getting full! Most of what I was buying was for that 1100 mile bike I have been planning. It looks like next year before I do that. I talked to my nephew Sunday and it looks like the 100 mile Everglades trek is on for October! That will have to do, I guess.

Denise, it is good to hear from you, sorry you are having to endure library p.c.s. I had a slip this is the second time.

The doctor I am seeing is pretty commited to saving the band if it is possible. I threw a little fit when I realized there is a real threat of losing the band. I have decided that negativity is counterproductive, so I am focussing on excercise as well as smart/wise food choices. It would be very easy for me to say I now have no help and start going back down the path of huge weight gain. I prefer not to, so I am going to get as much exercise whenever and wherever I can. I am also restarting my food journal and tightening up on the types of foods I surround myself with.

JC

ShannonRT, I have been an RT for 5 ish years. Mostly doing CT, outpt. surgeries, Mammo, etc. Its nice to meet someone else on here with the same background. I almost envy the RT who runs the fluoroscope who does my fills, I think that would be a cush job!!LOL I would get so bored doing that all day. I figured I have a bit of knowledge about xrays, so I should see if I still know what I am talking about.

Kristi

:girl_hug:

Hi All... I am new to this thread. I have been married for 18 years and have been with my husband for 25 years. Our marriage has basically been over for the past 12 years but because we have 2 kids, we have tried to work it out to no avail. We decided this past Sunday to separate and he will be moving out... when I have no idea since I don't think he has looked for an apartment. I have been with him since I am 19, so I didn't have much dating experience except for one long term boyfriend before him. The prospect of me having to date at some point in the future is VERY SCARY, given the fact that I was banded a little over a year ago, have lost 90 lbs so far with about 50 to go. I don't think after he leaves I will be able to have the tummy tuck, my arms and legs done, so I am having this fear of being alone for the rest of my life because no one will want me with all this excess loose skin. Even though I have lost 90 lbs, I still don't think I look good... how do I get past this and are there guys out there (I'm 43) willing to look past the body image, or am I destined to be alone....???

Yvonne

Yvonne, I am so sorry about your marriage. I, too, was married at a young age and divorced 5 years ago. I have the same feelings as you about dating. It's very scary.

But don't worry, 90 pounds is a wonderful achievement and I'm sure you look a whole lot better than you think you do! There are men out there who will love you for you. Besides, if they were only interested in body image, would you really want to be with them anyway?

Even if you don't find someone else, we are STRONG, INDEPENDENT women and we don't need a man to make us feel happy or complete, right? Right now is the time to concentrate on yourself and your children and making sure they adjust to the separation as well as possible.

Good luck and please keep us updated.

Hey Yvonne, you are not destined to be alone. The fact that you are actively trying to improve yourself says a lot about you. One thing I would say is this, patience will be your friend even if it does not feel that way right now.

I would suggested focussing your energy on yourself your whole self. Weight loss will improve your mood and self confidence, but I can tell you from experiance that excercise with set goals will improve your feeling of self worth and you will start to believe in yourself more and more. Remember this, it is difficult for someone to like you if you do not like yourself.

I have said this before and I believe it and do not mind saying it again, there are some great people on this thread who will help you, support you and be your friend without ever having met you! Take comfort in that and welcome.

JC

Hi Yvonne, welcome to the group. I think dating is something you should put on the back burner for at least a few months. You aren't going to be 100% in a relationship while you're going through a divorce. Just a while to get to know yourself again. Find a new hobbie...change your hair...and quit worrying. I'm sure your self-doubt is unfounded.

JC, who goes on these journies with you? Are these friends you've always had or new friends? Did they get you into biking or did you already have an interest?

Denise, it sounds like you're doing well at your dad's but I hate that you feel like you have to hide the band issue. It must be difficult for you, emotionally.

I do some extreme stuff that challenges me to not just complete the task, but also to survive, so most of the time I go solo. I don't know many people I could take that I would not be concerned about their saftey or ability. On the more tame outings I will take my son,as long as his mother cooperates. Thankfully that issue is soon to be over, he turns 18 in September! I have met some people on the exercise thread we are trying to get a biking get together going. Do you want to go?

I sometimes have trouble doing things with my son because I have no parental rights, he is technically my stepson however, I will never ever treat him as anything other than my own flesh and blood! I am the only father he has ever known. I always make sure to let him know that I love him and believe in him.

He never even had a chance to develop a relationship with his paternal grandparents. They seem to be very self absorbed. He lost both of his maternal grandparents when he was young. So he is stuck with me, the poor kid. :-)

JC

That's very sad about your son, JC. But I'm sure he's well adjusted since you care so deeply for him.

As far as the biking trip--I don't think I'm at a level where I could keep up with you. (I'm not sure anyone is...hehe.) And, heck, I don't even own a bike. But hopefully someday I'll be in a position to take you up on that offer though. I was just curious how you picked biking as your main activity and thought maybe you had a friend who was an avid biker or something.

OK, but I have several bikes if you change your mind. :-)

I have two very good friends that when we all get together it is like a three stooges reunion! Separately we are fine but the combination causes danger. We used to bike ride, mudsling 4 wheel drives, boat, jet ski, camp, fish, if there was an outdoor activity that had the potential to hurt you we did it. Now they are no longer into that kind of stuff. They would rather get together at one of our houses in the air conditioner and talk about what we used to do. I don't mind doing that, but I would like to add a few new stories to the book every now and then.

I chose to focus on biking to get in shape because of the lesser impact on joints while losing weight, I have some recumbent bikes that are very easy on the butt, which allows for longer rides without the massive pain. I then added walking. Once I built up to walking 4 miles I stayed at that distance and started adding speed. Now I jog, I still do 4 miles but I jog most of the distance.

I bought a kayak because my sister and I rented a couple to checkout Calladesi Island. After that trip my arms as well as my abs felt tighter.

JC