I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

Thanks Leona, I have been alternating between Beef and Chicken Broth. The cheese thing sounds great I am going to try that for lunch I love Cheese.

I also am trying to get as much water in my system as possible, I actually dehydrated yesterday when I was jogging. It felt close to heat exhaustion, not sure, but I did think about calling someone for assistance. I find it funny that I don't seem to have that problem when I can eat solids.

JC

a 1100 mile bike ride.

JC

You know, they have these things called "airplanes" now :confused:

Airplanes do not tend to burn as many calories...... unless of course I drag it behind me! LOL

JC

What happened to this thread. I just noticed it, and was excited. Being a single woman (53 yo and 14 years single) puts a different focus on things. No one to be supportive day in and day out at home (I've tried, but the dog just won't comment). lol Would love to see this one take off again.

I think we do very well keeping up with each other, Donna. This is my favorite thread.

 

And it's nice to see someone here more my age. I find it really hard to think about dating at 54. All the men my age are either looking for someone a lot younger than themselves or they look like little old men.

 

I am going to look for those books at the library while I am in Arizona.

 

JC, How much longer do you have to be on liquids?

Denise, if all goes well I will be able to eat Friday. It really all depends on the Doctor if he decides to operate there is no telling.

BTW our local paper ( Tampa Tribune) Ran an article about Kayaking the Salmon River Canyon. They referenced Zigzag Oregon. They showed some people in the middle of a 40 foot drop, it looked like great fun. Are you familiar with this area?

JC

Welcome donnaj! Glad you found us! This thread is great, I agree, and it's not just because I started it. lol. But I think a lot of the people who are posting aren't really dating right now or don't really have a lot of topics to discuss about being single and dating. If you have a topic you'd like to throw out, please do!

JC, one thing I used to do on liquids was to get Cambell's Broccoli & Cheese soup, and to melt some cheddar cheese in the soup. It added flavor and consistency, and it was yummy.

So let's see...update on Mike. I haven't seen him much since last week because he's a contractor and owns his own business, and so often times he has to work off hours. We talk a lot on the phone and we're looking forward to seeing each other tomorrow (rain - yeah rain! lol). I'll be honest - I really like him and I'm struggling with allowing myself to trust him and fall for him. But I keep telling myself that I have to just let go and trust him until he gives me reason not too. It's hard though, but I know it's just my baggage really. Whoever said this dating thing was easy didn't know what they were talking about!

Hey Guys! This is going to be real short!! lol Gas=a little Pain=a little

I am hoping for a good day tomorrow,however, luck usually doesn't play on my side!

Hope you are all doing OK!

Denise-I think this thread is great!

Welcome WElcome Donna!

JC hang in there just a few more days!! Is the shake thing or the inactive thing bothering you most?? You are such an active guy!

Everyone! As soon as I get to feeling better to stay on this thing for a couple of hours I will start checking on Singles Cruises for next year. I know they book fast and early. So, I will start looking here in the next week.

Congrats Pigsr! Welcome to bandland!!!!!! The gas pains were definitely the WORST part by far. You're on your way now. Wahoo!!!

Chrispy, This all sounds so promising. I am really enjoying all the updates.

You're right about trust. I usually trust people until they show me

they can't be trusted.

 

JC, I haven't heard of that area. Even though I live here, I

am not very familiar with the rest of Oregon. I hardly

ever leave the coast. Did it say which town this was near?

 

PigR, I hope you're feeling better!

Chrispy, thanks for the recipe I will try anything right now!

I'm hope things continue to work out for you.

PigsR, way to go! The more you can walk the faster that darn gas pain will go away.

I would say both the food and inactivity are wearing on me, also the anxiety of not knowing if I will require more sugery and/or lose my band. I have in the last two days jogged 4 miles and walked 4. I have in the last two days, lost 4 of the 11 pounds gained since leaving the hospital.

Denise I will read the article tomorrow when I get to work and see if it gives a nearby town.

Hey DerbyGirl, I was just giving you a hard time the other day. My son has been keeping me busy with his Eagle Scout Project. I am still staying away from Chuckie Cheese though! :-)

JC

I will have to slow down and read the article

Well I haven't even been logged onto this site for a couple of months, and look at all the new faces! It's great to see everyone on here, lots of support. I have been soooo busy with my new life after banding, I haven't had much time for the computer. Thought I would stop in and say hellooooooooo to anyone who actually remembers me, I see Chrispy and Denise are still here!

 

I have done well, got another fill, though, and now i feel like a bulimic again. Can you guys actually eat the 4-6 oz after a fill? I think they always tighten me too much!! I can't even eat 1/3 of one of those snickers protein bars in one sitting! I feel like I am not getting enough nutrition, but I am losing, so I guess thats all that matters at the moment. I am almost to my original goal, but I think I will change it to 135ish, I like that better, and as its going now, I think it may actually be attainable!!Woo hoo.!

 

Congratulations to everyone on their weight loss successes. And hope to be back on soon, have narrowed my dating down to one man, hes the one, I think, but I still make him call me, lol. It sure works better when you ignore them.

 

I read that book Hes just not into you too, and its great. There is another one thats helpful, downloadable book, by Christian Carter, How to Catch a Man and Keep Him.......I think is the title, bery bery insightful into how men process things differently than women, and it has helped me tremendously in the dating scene.

 

Anyway, gotta run. hopefully back on for a while anyway!!!

Kristi

Hey Guys! My journey begins somewhat tomorrow! My surg is on Tues. but check in and spend the night tomorrow!! I hope that the thought of being thin helps me get through the next few weeks!

When were you guys able to start exercising? How long did you just kind of take "strolls?"

JC--Are you getting better? You sound like you are....?

Apple-If you are strong enough to keep dating while doing this thing, then by all means, go for it. I know I am not. My self esteem/confidence gets kicked in so quickly that I am waiting until I feel better about ME.

I don't think I can do this right now (The dating thing that is). Even though I am so anxious to finally meet someone I know I am going to have to wait. I just can't wait until I get banded and start the next phase of my new life. I finally broke down and started really concentrating and accepting these new steps that I have decided to take. I am so grateful to have found such great support like this site/thread. I have really felt alone for a while but now I am starting to feel like I am not. Hope you all are having a great day and I look forward to getting to know you all a aquiring some good suggestions and advice.

PigsRFlying...... I see you're doing better! A friend of mine had surgery on Monday and he is doing really well too! Like JC said, just keep walking!

 

 

ok so update>>> Matt is now officially my boyfriend!!! We had a talk last night and we decided that we want to be exclusive and really work on it... It's going to be hard because I leave for NYC in 2 and half weeks, but we are going to try to make it work! I can't believe that when I finally started to believe in myself, I found someone else that also believes in me. He really is a great guy, someone I could see myself with for a long time because I feel so safe and comfortable with him. I just can't believe how shy he is about relationship stuff...

So here's the lowdown on how it went last night... I broke 2 rules- I was slightly tipsy and it was post... but I told him:

"I really like you, Matt..."

and he said, "I really like you, too" and then silence for a few minutes... until he said, "Is that the start to a conversation..." and I said, "Maybe but I'm not sure if we should have one being kinda drunk and after that..." and he said, "Well, we can have it, if you want..." So again, silence..., and then I said, "Well we both know what we're gonna say... I became attached to you over the past few weeks..."(he nods and smiles in agreement), and then I said, "so do you wanna be exclusive?" and he said, "yes!" and then of course a bit of making out, and then he broke the serious vibe (good thing) and said, "Well, I guess I should change my facebook and myspace!" It was HILARIOUS!

 

So that's that... my first actual boyfriend EVER, and it feels good. But I have so many mixed emotions, and am even nostalgic a bit for single life in the Big Apple. I do like being hit on by guys- its a HUGE confidence booster, so now I'll lead them on a bit, and then not act on it.

 

Please don't kick me off this thread.... I have soooo much more to learn about dating/ single life, and who knows how long this will last... only time will tell!

 

Chrispy, it sounds like you are also getting attached... just believe in yourself, and trust that you are a beautiful person inside and out (because you are!)... and it will happen... Trust is a big issue though. It's amazing how much time you can spend really getting to know someone before you finally know them, and not all people are as trustworthy as you are!

 

JC- try that brocoli and cheese soup... it really works! Panera has some great soups too, even if you have to puree them. And congrats on the 4 pounds in 2 days!!!

 

Kristi- congrats on almost reaching goal!!! You are doing great! Love the pic- you look smokin!

 

apple-- it will happen when you are ready for it! Just keep smiling, and do whats best for you. take care of yourself and relax! Life has its' way of throwing good things at you when you least expect it. Good luck with your surgery- it really is the start of something new and exciting!

 

I am actually thinking of getting a tattoo with my surgery date on it on the inside of my wrist to remind me of the day (figuretively) I slit my wrist on the past and healed them into the future. But I have no tattoos and I'm scared!!! haha

 

Hugs everyone... its mid-week again! ahh!

Chrispy, I didn't know you started this thread. Way to go!

PigsRFlying, get lots of rest. Sounds like everything is going normal if the gas is your only complaint. That was my biggest complaint as well.

JC, I didn't know you HAD a son. What's the Eagle Scout project? Hey, sometimes I go to Chuck E. Cheese just for the live show. I like to hold up my glow-stick yell FREEEBIRD!!! Just kidding.

Welcome Donnaj! And I think I forgot to welcome you, too, Leona. I'm having trouble keeping up here lately.

Denise, how have you done with the band? You don't have a ticker or anything, so I'm curious.