I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

Way to go Chrispy! I think I would hang onto that guy if I were you! That is such a cool gift. I'm sorry I missed your birthday. I've been really sick the past couple of weeks. Hope you had a great day!

~Joan~

So...kinda embarrassing to ask but, how does one go about getting back into the dating game? Any advice?

I am going to wait until I feel a bit better about my body first but...you never know do you.

Derick: Don't wait to get back in the game! I personally had good luck with online dating... that's how I met my dbf (2 years ago) before him, I had mixed luck, but boy was I busy.. and it was fun.... between emails, phone calls and the casual dates... I was always busy

I first joined Eharmony... I think the trick with them is to only do it for a few months.. otherwise you run out of potential matches, I had several matches that got to the email and phone part, and I actually dated 3 of the guys more than once.(one guy was semiserious, but too intense)......

All very different, but all that I had things in common with.......

Match.com..... had ok luck, but more of a meat market

on a whim I joined Yahoo because they were running some kind of mothers day special or something and I met several guys off there......

I had nicknames for them and the last guy I dated a few times ended up being a FREAK.... he was an IT guy and we got to the point that we would be arguing over the IM....... he actually gave my laptop a virus.. After him I WAS DONE.... then I got a faceless email from a person that made me laugh out loud.. the only reason I even responded was because he was funny..... (I was like.. hey dude your hilarious but I don't respond to people who don't post pics... I'm quitting yahoo.. so thanks for the last laugh) he ended up being on line and quickly gave me his real email before I cancelled........... and that was it.......and two years ago.

This is how I would work it....

1. email(s)

2. phone call (s)(via cell so that it could NOT be traced to my address)

3. meet somewhere neutral for a casual date.. (in my own car)

4. regular date if all went well and we both liked each other.

(oh and I never introduced my son to any of my casual dates, actually he only met dbf)

GOOD LUCK!

(You meet a lot of different people that are out of your normal circle of friends, some will be freaks, some will be nice but no sparks, and if your lucky you will have sparks with a couple... and of those couple one might be the lasting kind of sparks)

Omg Tracy...someone gave your computer a virus?? That is too funny. Not for you or your computer...but who would ever thing to do that to someone? What a dork.

Hi everyone! Just wanted to let you know that things are going GREAT with tattoo boy. I am really quite smitten with him. lol. We are getting along really well, and I like him more everytime I see him. I'm heading to his place tonight and I am looking forward to seeing where he lives. It should tell me a lot! The funniest part about this is that he was someone I was really not interested in online. But I thought what the heck, and met him on a whim. You never know I guess! lol

I hope everyone else is doing well!!

Omg Tracy...someone gave your computer a virus?? That is too funny. Not for you or your computer...but who would ever thing to do that to someone? What a dork.

I KNOW!!! He was fun when we went out, (he was on a pool league, and we'd meet up on his league nights.. his friends were a hoot) but he had major personality issues.... he did not take it well when I finally said... SEE YA FREAKBOY! :biggrin1: (his nickname became bipolar boy) because when he was UP he was really up, and in an instant he would be way out there.

Hi Guys,

I just wanted to let you guys know that I've met a guy on one of the online sites that I am really liking. He lives in Dallas, but since my daughter lives in Sherman, that would be great! I am going to be in Dallas around the first of next month, so I think we are going to meet then. I will let you guys know if we meet and how things go. I'm excited!!!!

~Joan~

OMG Joan, how exciting for you. Plz keep us posted. By the way, will you be in town the 1st thurs of the month?? Will you be able to make it to denton to the band support meeting?

I hope to see you there.

Chrispy...this boy sounds exciting and tattoos are HOT! Keep us updated!

Congrats Joan! That's so awesome.

Joan, I love callin you woots, too, thoughLOL--I hope you and this guy hit it off! And living close to your daughter does make for nice weekends, seeing the family and possibly the man. Good Luck. I am glad to hear you are feeling better.

MissyC, hey did you ever get that book? by Houston? I can't find it at the library for free, so I guess I am going to buy it. Sorry folks, information from another thread.

Chrispy, I am so excited for you. Although I don't like a lot of tattoos, I don't mind a few, but you know what you like, and all that really matters is how you treat each other, and mostly that he treats you like a princess.

TracyinKS, I think you have a good strategy for dating. Have you ever read "He's just not that into you?" or "why men love bitches?" They are hilarious. I would recommend them to anyone trying to date. Well, except for men, I guess they already know this stuff.

JDru, ok we haven't heard much from you lately, what gives? No information coming from your end? How's life?

Lee4love1, well if thats not a pickup line of some sort, I don't know, but welcome to our little tribe of singles, keep posting, we need some male input every once in a while.

Where's Derek?

So here is my latest. I went out with "longhair" again. This is our second date. Haven't seen him since before I hurt my leg fighting that tree limb, so tis bean a wheel. Anyway, he was cuter than I remembered him, so that was a big plus, but we got along great, and I felt like I could open up to him, so I was pretty comfortable. He told me I was intriguing, which is cool, because when I am skinnier, men are ALWAYS about looks, never about what I THINK. We didn't get real romantic or anything, but he kissed me at the end of the date, and he has a bit of a scratchy little mustache, and he asked me if I liked men with mustaches, and I said sure, as long as you aren't a leg man! (BC we had just discussed my big scars on my legs from the battle with the tree limb and how I had better not meet any leg men). Although what I REALLY wanted to say was something along the lines of "it depends on what body part you are kissing as to whether or not I like mustaches"LOL But I was a GOOD girl and didn't say that BAD thing. And so now he thinks I am humorous also! So I am having a pretty good time with him.

Thanks for listening,

Kristi

I'm single, but not really looking right now. I've decided to take this time to focus on losing weight and getting my health in order.

Well...I'm around, but I'm afraid nothing much is happening on the dating front for me. I did sign up for E-Harmony and it sucks ass. There were like 4 matches when I first signed up and now none. Apparently there are NO matches for me in the entire state of Utah. My friend from Pittsburgh keeps trying to get me to post of Cragislist, but last time I checked it there was some guy who wanted to donate his "baby juice" and I can't handle that.

There is this guy from high school that I got reacquainted with at my 10 year reunion in the summer. But he's SO not my type...but I think he's interested. Maybe I'll hang out with him just to practice dating. I'm starting to see the benefits of an arragned marriage. :eek:

Jessica,

Look out, I re-met my old junior high school boyfriend in November, thinking we had nothing in common, and we fell madly in love.

Joan,

I'm so happy for you. Let us know how this progresses!

Hey Ladies Hows it going? Just had to jump in, an yes eharmony, and yahoo dating stinks. I have been curious about dating another "Bandster".

Thought it would be cool dating someone who knew exactly what was going on. Anyone had this experience? Good / bad?

Jack from Ft. Worth Texas.

2 years post op.

totally at goal, 210 pounds lost.

Life is good!

Woot Woot Wootsie!!! I'm so glad you're talking to someone! I hope you guys get to meet and that it's a good meeting. You will have to keep us updated!!

Kristi - oh girl I love your stories!! lol. I'm glad your second date went great. It sounds like there's some chemistry there for sure. I wonder when date three will be!!

JDru - I was in a complete dry spell for a good year and a half. I had gone out on a couple of dates but no one really worth seeing again. All you can do is put yourself out there and have some fun! Oh, and a little bit of faith never hurts. lol

Jack - I think dating a fellow bandster would be great, but I haven't done it personally. Congrats on your weight loss by the way!! You've done a great job!!

Well...I'm around, but I'm afraid nothing much is happening on the dating front for me. I did sign up for E-Harmony and it sucks ass. There were like 4 matches when I first signed up and now none. Apparently there are NO matches for me in the entire state of Utah. My friend from Pittsburgh keeps trying to get me to post of Cragislist, but last time I checked it there was some guy who wanted to donate his "baby juice" and I can't handle that.

There is this guy from high school that I got reacquainted with at my 10 year reunion in the summer. But he's SO not my type...but I think he's interested. Maybe I'll hang out with him just to practice dating. I'm starting to see the benefits of an arragned marriage. :eek:

Jessica,

Supergenius suggested that I sign up on PlentyofFish.com, and I've met 1 guys on there that I might meet. I have also met someone on BBWdatefinder.com who is the guy I'm really liking in Dallas. I can't wait to meet him! Wow is he good looking! Anyway, I thought you might want to check out those 2 sites. PlentyofFish is free and the BBWdatefinder is $50. Good luck girl!

~Joan~