Did you keep your surgery a secret?

[futureloser 190]

I have been very open about my surgery. I am beginning to hold back now, 7 weeks later. I see disappointment when someone asks 'how much more weight have you lost?' And I have to say I haven't lost any this week but I am losing inches and blah blah blah. Right now I would rather not have it the major topic in all my conversations.

[abbygirl 39]

I am being "selective" on who I tell pre-surgery. In part because I don't want the inevitable nay sayer trying to give me helpful stories about their "aunts husbands cousins neighbor who had________ go wrong" and in part because I don't need the natural judgement people shovel out. The people I have told have, in part, been part of my decision making process. After surgery I will take each person as they come. I work extensively in a public field with repetitive clients but some I don't see for months....others daily. I think each persons journey is their own and though we can all suggest and support each other ultimately each of us does what's right for us.

[Doing It 4 Them 84]

I've told my husband, kids, my parents and siblings. My brother asked me why? He said you've always been fat. Yea, no duh! But they are all supportive. I've started counting calories and my husband is drinking a few Protein Shakes too.

I've told a few people at work because they started questioning why I was on a diet. Im fat! that should Be reason enough.lol There's a couple of them who are jealous because our insurance won't cover it. I've also heard well so and so died from it. I also get questioned every week about how long will it take...blah blah. I know a few of them will be on my case after my surgery asking how much I've lost, why haven't you lost more, is that all you are eating...and you look unhealthy, you should eat more lol.

It's my decision and no one can do this but me.

[PhatKat 27]

I am early into this. I don't intend on telling anyone. I come from a nosy opinionated family (ahem that includes me). I have told my assistant at work. He is my right hand. I need him to be prepared for more work for a while. I know my family will be against it and judge. I am not strong enough for that yet. I am going to take a "vacation with my friend" which is actually true. She is going to get sleeved at the same time. I have two adult children and one child at home. I am going to send my youngest daughter to my parents. I plan on taking two weeks off from work. I hope I don't need more because I really can't be away from my job longer than that.

[newat52 1,612]

I am early into this. I don't intend on telling anyone. I come from a nosy opinionated family (ahem that includes me). I have told my assistant at work. He is my right hand. I need him to be prepared for more work for a while. I know my family will be against it and judge. I am not strong enough for that yet. I am going to take a "vacation with my friend" which is actually true. She is going to get sleeved at the same time. I have two adult children and one child at home. I am going to send my youngest daughter to my parents. I plan on taking two weeks off from work. I hope I don't need more because I really can't be away from my job longer than that.

Congrats on getting your sleeve! I think it is a very personal decision to tell or not tell and you must do what is best for you and you alone.

As long as your job is physical, you will probably do fine. I had been told by many that for the best chance of easy recovery plan a bit ahead. I was advised to start exercising, I walked a few miles each day a few weeks before to build up strength and as you probably will on your pre op diet, get lots of Protein, 100 grams or better each day and start your Biotin to minimize your hair loss after.

After surgery, start getting your Protein through your shakes and drinks. Isopure is a great protein source, it's on clear liquid and a 20oz bottle is packed with 40 grams of protein. The sooner you can get your protein after surgery it will help heal your tummy heal!

I did this and I have to say, my recovery was very easy and quick. Had lots of energy for the most part but about a day each week or so I would feel wiped so took it easy on those days.

Best of luck to you!

[PhatKat 27]

That is awesome information! Thanks!

[Tumbelyna 9]

Question...

If you are selective by informing or not informing individuals about your surgery, especially at the workplace, how do you respond to questions? Specifically, after you return to work from 2 weeks for an unnamed surgery or procedure, and people begin to notice dramatic weight loss?

My surgery is scheduled for May 20th and although less than a handful know that I am having surgery and should return by June 3rd, it is weighing on my mind on my response.

I'm not embarrassed or ashamed. I feel this is a personal, well thought out decision on my behalf for my health, not vanity. I informed 3 people (my sister, boyfriend & best friend) when I had my consultation in July 2012 and then told them in April 2013 that I was proceeding with it...nothing was discussed in between. The reason for that is I wanted to arrive at my own decision after my testing and research, without opinions from others; my mind was made up and I couldn't be influenced in one way or another after that.

[cls8402 26]

Tumbelyna- i only told my boss and HR lady. I am a few days out from surgery now. During surgery my doc found i had a hiatial hernia. If someone figures out I had surgery- I will tell them thats what I had fixed. As for weight loss I am going to say its a low cal high Protein diet with exercise. None of that is lying really..... :-) if I need to I can say its a physician supervised dirt. People aren't keen to detail iny office.I went the whole 2 week preop diet and nobody noticed anything different. Tell them what you are comfortable with. Surgery is a very personal decision! Good luck!!

[newat52 1,612]

Tumbelyna and cls8402

I have always been a private person regarding not only medial issues but most everything. When I was younger I used to feel obligated to answer every question put to me. As I have grown older I no longer feel that way.

I would diet every year, every year I would lose the same 30 pounds only to re gain it by years end. Even though I generally kept it quiet but sometimes people would ask how much have I lost, my reply would be "A good amount" or not as much as I had hoped." I would try to be polite with a reply and change the subject. If they persist, I would just state that is personal to me and really don't wish to discuss it.

As for your surgery, if people ask what you had done, simply tell them that you had a medical issue tended to but you are feeling much better now, thanks for your concern and change the subject. If people want to speculate, they are not someone you would want to share any personal information with anyway. Most people will respect your privacy.

I know a lot of people need or want to tell everyone everything about them. But the truth is most people don't care about what do other people do than giving them something to gossip about. If they want to share everything then they should do so and respect that.

For those who choose to keep things private, be it medical or any other aspect of our lives, that is our right and would hope that others respect that as well.

Good luck to you both, you will love your sleeve!

[Tumbelyna 9]

Thank you both for your support. I feel the same way. More than likely, the surgeon will be removing my gall bladder during surgery so that in and f itself is a surgery. I have always felt compelled as well, to answer questions directly instead of dodging them. My co-workers are aware that I have been watching what I eat and taking walks during lunch. I am Catholic and during the Lenten season, I did not eat any sweets: no chocolate, candy, Cookies, cakes, pies, ice cream, soda, etc. and they were all aware of that. A few have commented on my strides with weight loss. I work for a very large city agency in New York and regardless, people will talk, either in front of you or behind you. I just wanted to reach out to see if others had the same feelings and approach that I have.

Thank you both again and please keep in touch. If you come up with any tips for my upcoming surgery, please keep me posted

[SlimDreams 175]

I broached the subject with my step mom (a nurse) when I started considering wls..but then I held off from saying anything more until I finished my research, reading articles, watching the surgery (gross lol), going through the approval process.. in fact it wasn't until I had a surgery date (upcoming 6/26/13) that I felt ready to share.

I told my dad and step mom last night. We are a closely knit family so I expected it to be a difficult conversation, and it was. Not bc I'm unsure of my decision, but bc I knew my parents would be worried and fearful not just of the surgery itself, and possible complications, but also bc they would worry about the post surgery lifestyle implications.

My dad doesn't agree with the surgery, he thinks that if I just commit myself to Portion Control and excersize I'll lose the weight. Although for the first time last night he looked at me and acknowledged I am obese (i knew it of course, that's why I'm on this board, but it still stung). My step mom thinks its the right choice for me, and would consider it herself..

I think the convo was so difficult bc it felt like I had to confront openly the fact that though I was an athelete once upon a time, I've struggled with weight issues for 17 yrs and have yoyod between 200 & 300 lbs. And that it has limited me. Knowing this and saying it outloud to others are different things. In some ways I felt like I was justifying a personal decision..ultimately having this conversation with them helped me feel more secure in my choice. To my dad's credit he made it clear, that even though he wants me to reconsider, he supports me whatever the outcome.

The rest of the world is strictly on a need to know basis..... Work will find iut this week that I'm taking leave..Not telling coworkers, or extended family...and I'll cross the boyfriend/husband bridge once its built..

Heres my point: telling/not telling theres no shame either way..its about doing whats best for you, so that you have the support system in place to make this path lead to your goal...---wow! Things just got zen..lol ..Guess these anonymous forums just became part of my support system

[newlife27 323]

I told my mom brother and my.ex boyfriend who is very much still my friend but NO COWORKERS or any of that i touched the subject once at work biggest mistake of my life all negative comments " ur gonna die" " u gonna look sick" "u look better big" smh so now i chose to keep the negative ish away THIS IS FOR ME

[Capricornrose 59]

I've told my co-workers. I've also told my close family and friends. I'm not going to broadcast it though once it happens. I think i'm just going to say I changed my eating habits and started exercising. Which will be the truth.

[BenisaMartim4 369]

I stand up and shout it from the mountain top. I want everyone to know what it did for me. I hope my testimony helps others take back their lives. Only positive feedback here. 15 months out, 165# down and maintaining. Awesome!

Sent from my iPhone using VST

[zenliving8 47]

I work for a hospital, so nobody SHOULD ask questions - but people in my office are very nosey. A coworker had surgery to remove a benign cyst. He only told my boss, and that made everybody gossip about why he was out. My boss ended up blabbing anyway.

I am scheduled for 5/19 and I'm not looking forward to the questions. I'm not embarrassed, I just don't like answering personal qustions.