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Did you keep your surgery a secret?



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Hi all. I'm new here to the forum. I'm just graduated the Tufts "Can Change" program and am finally finding out my surgery date on the 7th. I'm so excited! I was wondering how many of you kept your surgery a secret? So far I've told my family, my very best friend and my boyfriend. I was just wondering how others handled their situation.

Thanks in advance! :D

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Pretty much everyone that I told, told everyone else! That's ok though. Most everyone has seen me struggle with my weight and for the most part were supportive.

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I told my husband, my mom and my 3 best friends and asked them not to tell anyone else. My surgery is the 31st

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I have told a hand full of people, Husband, oldest child 8, mother in law, step father in law, brother inlaw, sister in laws, I told my family mom, sisters, brother and My mother took upon herself to tell on of my aunts her sister and I had to have words with her.

There are a few people in my family I didn't want to know and I just made it clear to the people on my husbands side that I shared with.

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Pretty much the same as everyone above mentioned I told my husband first and he knew I had been researching for a year then when I knew I was close to getting a date for surgery I told my family and a couple of very close friends. I didn't tell my job and my NP told me I didn't need to just to let them know that I have a major surgery that I will be undergoing and that I would be out for a few weeks for recovery. I also should mention that I work from home so know one from work would see my transformation so it was really of issue of having to come out and explain.

Good luck with starting your journey!! :D

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You will find many different answers to this, and the reality is - it's a personal decision. I told most of my family, close friends and only a few co-workers. Those that would be supportive and not judgmental. Much like any other personal information I go case by case. Not trying to hide it, but I don't share every detail of other aspects of my life with just anyone, so I used the same gauge. You'll know what is right for you.

Best of luck to you!!

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I've only told the inner circle - my husband, my sister, my two best friends, and my parents. I suppose more of my family and friends will know. If I'm asked I certainly won't lie but I'm not publicizing it all around.

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I told my Sons ( 20 yr and 15 yr ) my husband , mom and brother and that is it .... No one else needs to know in my opinion . I work out 4 times a week with a personal trainer and I eat well ... So I omit the surgery part and play on the workout and good eating habbits . Not too long ago my brother in law was talking about the lap band and saying I have no respect for losing weight that way ( with surgery ) which validated me not saying anything to anyone else .

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The only people that know are my mom and my husband. I'm going to keep it that way until after the surgery at least, maybe not at all. I'll play it by ear.

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I'm just starting the process, but it's going to happen. (Whether I can get it approved now or have to go through another year of diet!)

I am not telling many people. My family (brother and parents), my grandmother (I live with her), my boyfriend and his family (he and his sister also had it done), and one friend (who lives far away and has nobody to tell). That's it. I'm not even telling my best friend. She's thin, athletic & healthy. She doesn't understand why I just can't lose it on my own. I'll tell her the day before probably, just so she can't try to talk me out of it. That's more or less why I'm keeping it to myself. I don't want people's opinions. I've done my research and know my stuff!

Our HR lady at work knows I want to have it done, simply because I was asking her about the coverages. I plan on telling my boss when I am ready to schedule surgery in case of complications.

It's a personal decision. This is hard for me. I'm an open book, and tend to tell everyone everything. I have to bite my tounge sometimes! :)

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My husband and adult kids know. One niece- in-law accidentally found out because she's best friends with my daughter and saw a pic. My weight problem is very embarrassing to me and I tend to hide any issues related to it and it's very personal to me who knows

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Only husband knows that I am planning to have the surgery, a friend that had bypass and 1 coworker. I do plan tell parents and siblings a few days before surgery.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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