Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

Is anyone else having issues with family? It seems like for me I have to be on the defense about this surgery with everyone. They always have to tell me why it's not a good idea, and how I'm making a terrible decision. Of course, I think otherwise, but it's getting exhausting trying to defend my decision. I'm not really the type to keep it to myself and sneak off and do it, but sometimes I wish that I would have just kept my mouth shut about it! Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had discussed with my family as well they never really said anything until I was ready to book and their opinions started coming out. My moms main concern was doing it in Mexico. I literally broke down and said look this is why I am doing this and I need your support in this or don't say anything and from there on out they haven't said anything else negative. I know they are nervous but I am as well. I had to reassure them that I wasn't the first person to go to Mexico to have it done and had to is how them all of the research I have done. They also don't know how hard it has been to fight my weight my whole life and I had to let them know how I felt about myself right now and I really don't think that they knew that I was really this unhappy! Hope everything works out and you get the support that you need, I definitely found it comforting when I found this app on my phone! Best wishes!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't tell my family until after for just that reason. My mother makes everything about HER and how she feels and this was all me. I had no intention of trying to make them feel better!

Put your foot down. Be firm and explain that your mind is made up and your telling them was an courtesy, not asking for an opinion. Every time someone wants to comment, say the same thing, "My mind is made up. Please just support me."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am having the same issue as you. My sister says that she doesn't agree with the surgery but will be supportive. All of my friends are supportive. I told my parents tonight. My dad was cool with it. My mother kept trying to talk me out of it. She told me to just keep my mouth closed and not put so much food in it. She has never been supportive of anything I have done. I wanted to go ahead and tell them in case I slipped and mentioned it. I may not bring it up again until after it is already done. I just don't want to hear it. If you are anything like me this was not a quick or easy decision. Why can't people just express their feelings but be supportive of our decision.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told them several months ago about this surgery, and the majority of the time they never say anything about it. I think that they hope I will just change my mind. I'd like to just have someone to talk about it with, share my concerns, my excitement with. Sure, on here I can do that, but I want to be able to do that with my family. It's always been that way though and I have always felt alone.... Not feeling sorry for myself, but I can only hope surgery goes well, and none of them will say "I told you so!" Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am 43 years old and still afraid to tell my parents. They know I am having surgery and are supportive but they have no idea I am going to Mexico to have it done. They would not be supportive of that in any way shape or form. I live 2 1/2 hours away from them but go to visit them every other weekend. I'm not sure if I can pull this off without them finding out. Me and my mom talk or text all the time and being in Mexico talking to her or texting her would be really expensive. They keep asking me the date of my surgery (3/6/13) and I keep telling them idk yet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am 43 years old and still afraid to tell my parents. They know I am having surgery and are supportive but they have no idea I am going to Mexico to have it done. They would not be supportive of that in any way shape or form. I live 2 1/2 hours away from them but go to visit them every other weekend. I'm not sure if I can pull this off without them finding out. Me and my mom talk or text all the time and being in Mexico talking to her or texting her would be really expensive. They keep asking me the date of my surgery (3/6/13) and I keep telling them idk yet.

Who is doing your surgery?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

it took me 3 yrs to talk my husband in to it but when i finally convinced him that it was this or i would eventually die from obesity related problems he couldn't argue. my other family has been supportive now i wish i hadn't opened my mouth to my co workers but that's another story.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Personally I think your dammed if you do and your dammed if you don't!!

I told my mom and she insisted on coming down and helping.. More like driving me crazy! oh and she showed up at my front door the day of the surgery with tons of food including a big tray of cookies! And I didn't tell my mother in law. And when she found out she was pissed! Now that I have it done they all drive me crazy by asking me daily " how much have you lost now?" And staring at me up and down when they see me!

Moral of story... Do what you need to do and never mind the wack-a-doodles !

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dr Garcia

Really? I was having surgery with Lopez on the 11th, but I'm having to move it up a few days. It will probably be the 7th or 8th now!! I will definitely see you there I'm sure.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Personally I think your dammed if you do and your dammed if you don't!!

I told my mom and she insisted on coming down and helping.. More like driving me crazy! oh and she showed up at my front door the day of the surgery with tons of food including a big tray of cookies! And I didn't tell my mother in law. And when she found out she was pissed! Now that I have it done they all drive me crazy by asking me daily " how much have you lost now?" And staring at me up and down when they see me!

Moral of story... Do what you need to do and never mind the wack-a-doodles !

This cracked me up! Especially the part about bringing the tray of Cookies on your surgery day! That sounds like my Mom. She will probably whip into Red Lobster on my way to the airport. Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry Jesser I am new to posting but I have been reading on this forum since October. I don't know how to post under your question like u do under my post. I am using an iPhone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×