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Support System

Is anyone else having issues with family? It seems like for me I have to be on the defense about this surgery with everyone. They always have to tell me why it's not a good idea, and how I'm making a terrible decision. Of course, I think otherwise, but it's getting exhausting trying to defend my decision. I'm not really the type to keep it to myself and sneak off and do it, but sometimes I wish that I would have just kept my mouth shut about it! Lol

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  • I told them several months ago about this surgery, and the majority of the time they never say anything about it. I think that they hope I will just change my mind. I'd like to just have someone to ta

  • The best part is when I opened the front door and she has a half eaten cookie hanging out of her mouth while trying not to spill the rest of the tray!!

  • it took me 3 yrs to talk my husband in to it but when i finally convinced him that it was this or i would eventually die from obesity related problems he couldn't argue. my other family has been suppo

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I had discussed with my family as well they never really said anything until I was ready to book and their opinions started coming out. My moms main concern was doing it in Mexico. I literally broke down and said look this is why I am doing this and I need your support in this or don't say anything and from there on out they haven't said anything else negative. I know they are nervous but I am as well. I had to reassure them that I wasn't the first person to go to Mexico to have it done and had to is how them all of the research I have done. They also don't know how hard it has been to fight my weight my whole life and I had to let them know how I felt about myself right now and I really don't think that they knew that I was really this unhappy! Hope everything works out and you get the support that you need, I definitely found it comforting when I found this app on my phone! Best wishes!

I didn't tell my family until after for just that reason. My mother makes everything about HER and how she feels and this was all me. I had no intention of trying to make them feel better!

Put your foot down. Be firm and explain that your mind is made up and your telling them was an courtesy, not asking for an opinion. Every time someone wants to comment, say the same thing, "My mind is made up. Please just support me."

I am having the same issue as you. My sister says that she doesn't agree with the surgery but will be supportive. All of my friends are supportive. I told my parents tonight. My dad was cool with it. My mother kept trying to talk me out of it. She told me to just keep my mouth closed and not put so much food in it. She has never been supportive of anything I have done. I wanted to go ahead and tell them in case I slipped and mentioned it. I may not bring it up again until after it is already done. I just don't want to hear it. If you are anything like me this was not a quick or easy decision. Why can't people just express their feelings but be supportive of our decision.

  • Author

I told them several months ago about this surgery, and the majority of the time they never say anything about it. I think that they hope I will just change my mind. I'd like to just have someone to talk about it with, share my concerns, my excitement with. Sure, on here I can do that, but I want to be able to do that with my family. It's always been that way though and I have always felt alone.... Not feeling sorry for myself, but I can only hope surgery goes well, and none of them will say "I told you so!" Lol

I am 43 years old and still afraid to tell my parents. They know I am having surgery and are supportive but they have no idea I am going to Mexico to have it done. They would not be supportive of that in any way shape or form. I live 2 1/2 hours away from them but go to visit them every other weekend. I'm not sure if I can pull this off without them finding out. Me and my mom talk or text all the time and being in Mexico talking to her or texting her would be really expensive. They keep asking me the date of my surgery (3/6/13) and I keep telling them idk yet.

  • Author
I am 43 years old and still afraid to tell my parents. They know I am having surgery and are supportive but they have no idea I am going to Mexico to have it done. They would not be supportive of that in any way shape or form. I live 2 1/2 hours away from them but go to visit them every other weekend. I'm not sure if I can pull this off without them finding out. Me and my mom talk or text all the time and being in Mexico talking to her or texting her would be really expensive. They keep asking me the date of my surgery (3/6/13) and I keep telling them idk yet.

Who is doing your surgery?

it took me 3 yrs to talk my husband in to it but when i finally convinced him that it was this or i would eventually die from obesity related problems he couldn't argue. my other family has been supportive now i wish i hadn't opened my mouth to my co workers but that's another story.

Personally I think your dammed if you do and your dammed if you don't!!

I told my mom and she insisted on coming down and helping.. More like driving me crazy! oh and she showed up at my front door the day of the surgery with tons of food including a big tray of cookies! And I didn't tell my mother in law. And when she found out she was pissed! Now that I have it done they all drive me crazy by asking me daily " how much have you lost now?" And staring at me up and down when they see me!

Moral of story... Do what you need to do and never mind the wack-a-doodles !

  • Author
Dr Garcia

Really? I was having surgery with Lopez on the 11th, but I'm having to move it up a few days. It will probably be the 7th or 8th now!! I will definitely see you there I'm sure.

  • Author
Personally I think your dammed if you do and your dammed if you don't!!

I told my mom and she insisted on coming down and helping.. More like driving me crazy! oh and she showed up at my front door the day of the surgery with tons of food including a big tray of cookies! And I didn't tell my mother in law. And when she found out she was pissed! Now that I have it done they all drive me crazy by asking me daily " how much have you lost now?" And staring at me up and down when they see me!

Moral of story... Do what you need to do and never mind the wack-a-doodles !

This cracked me up! Especially the part about bringing the tray of Cookies on your surgery day! That sounds like my Mom. She will probably whip into Red Lobster on my way to the airport. Lol

Sorry Jesser I am new to posting but I have been reading on this forum since October. I don't know how to post under your question like u do under my post. I am using an iPhone.

The best part is when I opened the front door and she has a half eaten cookie hanging out of her mouth while trying not to spill the rest of the tray!!

I feel like I can somewhat relate. I'm not so sure my family is unsupportive, they just get quiet when I mention it. It bums me out because I'm really excited and i went them to be excited for me and they aren't. My husband is very supportive though so that helps. I know how much you want to have your family support you but they may not until after your surgery and they may not even then. But your verticalsleevetalk family will always support you! Message me if you just need to talk, vent, cry.. anything!!! :))

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