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SO CONFUSED...struggling with a decision



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Hey y'all. Sarah here. I was active on the boards until about a year ago...now I'm BACK! I am a 30 year old retirement planner, living the dream in the SF Bay Area.

Oh wait- almost living the dream- first I need to take off this 160 lb fat suit I've been dragging around the last 7 years.

See, I've always been fluffy, voluptuous, "a big girl". Still, I was ususally happy with who I was and how I looked. It wasn't until I broke up with my college boyfriend of 4 years at age 23-24, that I started gaining serious weight. I was about 170 back then, and had always worn a size 12 or 14...now I'm a 22. I just started eating to deal with the serious depression, then I would get more depressed because of the way my clothes stopped fitting, and thus began the ugly cycle that I've been in since 2006. At this point, I'm in treatment for depression (for WAY more issues than just the weight) and luckily, over the last 3 years, my depression has become manageable. It still rears its ugly head once in a while, but I can handle it now. The meds have really worked. I KNOW that WLS isn't a cure-all, but I also know in my heart of hearts that if I wasn't super-morbidly-obese, I would be loving life a lot more. Just ask anyone who has lost weight and kept it off. ANYONE. I also have co-morbidities: carpal tunnel syndrome, joint pain, foot pain, back pain, mild-to-moderate sleep apnea, hidradenitis suppurativa (its BAD right now). Most of the time, I can still buckle my airplane seatbelt, but I know it's because I have a pretty small frame (I'm 5'0")...still, I had to "fake it" during one flight because I couldn't bear the burning shame of asking for an extender. I'm effing fed up with this bs.

I have been trying to lose 35 lbs for the last 18 months. I have not been successful thus far. Gee, it almost seems like I have an overeating issue.... HENCE WHY I NEED VSG! Unfortunately, Kaiser Permanente NorCal approved me but only if I can get my weight down to 250. I have been in counseling and I've been trying to eat right...GOSH ITS ALMOST LIKE I NEED SOME SORT OF PHYSICAL RESTRICTION TO KEEP ME FOCUSED ON THE GOAL. Kaiser offers no ongoing counseling or diagnoses for overeaters, compulsive overeating, or binge eating disorder (even though it is in the DSM...they don't care). I was allowed one appointment with their eating disorders clinic therapist: She told me to buy Judith Beck's book, "Diet for Life"....that's right, that is the treatment offered to me by Kaiser: buy a book. They don't offer personal training or exercise programs, they don't offer ongoing counseling for overeaters, they actually told me, "Ma'am, if we did that for you, 20% of our patients would qualify for these programs". Ok, so....too many people need help, so they're just NOT GOING TO OFFER IT.

Look, I know that ANY surgery is safer if you're at a lower BMI. I know about fat on my liver, too- but I also know that the liquid pre-op diet DOES help to shrink that down. I know KP is VERY conservative when it comes to treatments, hey, they're a health maintenance org. However, I have begged just about every department I can (including seeing my surgeon, Dr. Baggs, personally & begging for the surgery)- no one cares. It's up to me to lose 35 lbs, or self-pay. Because you know what?? Chris Christie (governor of NJ) just got the lap band. His BMI must have been sky-high, but HIS TOP NOTCH WORLD CLASS DOCTORS still gave HIM the surgery... I truly believe that I am a fine candidate for VSG, and that is why i am now considering, very seriously, self-pay.

I'm going to post this in the main forum also. However, since I am on a limited budget, I am seriously considering surgery in Mexicali or TJ.

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I would stick with your own liquid diet for about 3-4 weeks, Atkins based shakes and if you only need 35 lbs you can focus for that short period of time, then weigh in and qualify.

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Do what you can but your on the right highway...

Self pay is around $4500 to $5500 in TJ

TJ is safe as far as we are concerned. My husband has been there atleast a dozen times over the last 3 years.

We just got back a few days ago... VSG for $5200 with Dr. Kelly

He does alot of the more serious cases and teaches the procedures to many other surgeons in Canada, Mexico, USA and I think hes heading to Turkey next month for a week.

Do your best locally... but GET IT DONE! You wont regret it.

My honey has reached his goal within 12 months (120lbs gone) and he has so much energy and does so much more.

If Mexico is in your plans I suggest you pick a surgeon to your liking... we got to speak directly with Kelly, then pick the hospital facility... and yes some are bettter than others... and then your hotel. Oh... if you can book direct... I suggest you do that as well.

Good luck

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I knew my insurance wouldn't cover it. I checked on Summa up here in Akron. They said it was denied and I could contest it or see if my hubbies work could add it etc in Dec. Forget all that crap and wasting my time. I just self paid. Yeah, we had to tap the savings but my health was worth it. Did a good 2 months of research, called and had it scheduled for 2 weeks later....only because of the liquid diet. It went so quickly and I was virtually pain free. I used the same as westcoastlady and went direct. I'm now 3 weeks post op and doing just fine.

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Hey y'all. Sarah here. I was active on the boards until about a year ago...now I'm BACK! I am a 30 year old retirement planner, living the dream in the SF Bay Area.

Oh wait- almost living the dream- first I need to take off this 160 lb fat suit I've been dragging around the last 7 years.

See, I've always been fluffy, voluptuous, "a big girl". Still, I was ususally happy with who I was and how I looked. It wasn't until I broke up with my college boyfriend of 4 years at age 23-24, that I started gaining serious weight. I was about 170 back then, and had always worn a size 12 or 14...now I'm a 22. I just started eating to deal with the serious depression, then I would get more depressed because of the way my clothes stopped fitting, and thus began the ugly cycle that I've been in since 2006. At this point, I'm in treatment for depression (for WAY more issues than just the weight) and luckily, over the last 3 years, my depression has become manageable. It still rears its ugly head once in a while, but I can handle it now. The meds have really worked. I KNOW that WLS isn't a cure-all, but I also know in my heart of hearts that if I wasn't super-morbidly-obese, I would be loving life a lot more. Just ask anyone who has lost weight and kept it off. ANYONE. I also have co-morbidities: carpal tunnel syndrome, joint pain, foot pain, back pain, mild-to-moderate sleep apnea, hidradenitis suppurativa (its BAD right now). Most of the time, I can still buckle my airplane seatbelt, but I know it's because I have a pretty small frame (I'm 5'0")...still, I had to "fake it" during one flight because I couldn't bear the burning shame of asking for an extender. I'm effing fed up with this bs.

I have been trying to lose 35 lbs for the last 18 months. I have not been successful thus far. Gee, it almost seems like I have an overeating issue.... HENCE WHY I NEED VSG! Unfortunately, Kaiser Permanente NorCal approved me but only if I can get my weight down to 250. I have been in counseling and I've been trying to eat right...GOSH ITS ALMOST LIKE I NEED SOME SORT OF PHYSICAL RESTRICTION TO KEEP ME FOCUSED ON THE GOAL. Kaiser offers no ongoing counseling or diagnoses for overeaters, compulsive overeating, or binge eating disorder (even though it is in the DSM...they don't care). I was allowed one appointment with their eating disorders clinic therapist: She told me to buy Judith Beck's book, "Diet for Life"....that's right, that is the treatment offered to me by Kaiser: buy a book. They don't offer personal training or exercise programs, they don't offer ongoing counseling for overeaters, they actually told me, "Ma'am, if we did that for you, 20% of our patients would qualify for these programs". Ok, so....too many people need help, so they're just NOT GOING TO OFFER IT.

Look, I know that ANY surgery is safer if you're at a lower BMI. I know about fat on my liver, too- but I also know that the liquid pre-op diet DOES help to shrink that down. I know KP is VERY conservative when it comes to treatments, hey, they're a health maintenance org. However, I have begged just about every department I can (including seeing my surgeon, Dr. Baggs, personally & begging for the surgery)- no one cares. It's up to me to lose 35 lbs, or self-pay. Because you know what?? Chris Christie (governor of NJ) just got the lap band. His BMI must have been sky-high, but HIS TOP NOTCH WORLD CLASS DOCTORS still gave HIM the surgery... I truly believe that I am a fine candidate for VSG, and that is why i am now considering, very seriously, self-pay.

I'm going to post this in the main forum also. However, since I am on a limited budget, I am seriously considering surgery in Mexicali or TJ.

I wish there was a right answer. Unfortunately, I don't think that's the case. I can't say what I'd do if I were in your shoes. My insurance doesn't cover WLS, at all, under any circumstance. Right now, I look at that as kind of lucky...simply because I didn't have to jump through any hoops to get to surgery.

Would I have self-paid if my insurance covered it? Probably not. Simply because I'd have *rather had surgery near home, if it had been an option. Also, the cash is a consideration...it took me around a year to be able to manage the trip for surgery. But I also would have had an entirely different experience. I don't know if it would have been better or worse or what, but it would have been different.

I hope you are able to work out which decision is best for you. If you decide Mexico is it, there is certainly a ton of information to be found here! Don't be afraid to ask questions. :)

~Kat

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Looking for recommendations for SVG surgeon in Mexico. Have far to travel so piece of mind is super important. Any advice please?

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Looking for recommendations for SVG surgeon in Mexico. Have far to travel so piece of mind is super important. Any advice please?

Dr. Aceves is fabulous. Absolutely fabulous. :-)

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Dr hurtado did my friend surgery snd doing mine.

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Thanks for the responses.

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Looking for recommendations for SVG surgeon in Mexico. Have far to travel so piece of mind is super important. Any advice please?

Love, love, loved my surgeon, Dr. Illan.

~Kat

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        I can relate to the parent's situation. I am 42 and still struggle with pleasing them. Yet they do whatever they want with no concern for how it affects anyone else, so why do I feel so obligated to them? I wish I had some advice that could help. One thing I have tried to do is stop sharing things with them that I really don't want to hear their opinion on. (like the business I am starting)

        Like with this surgery, I knew I was going to need their help getting to the appointments and back from the surgery, so I knew I had to tell them. But I did not tell them until I was almost at the point of getting surgery that I was doing this.

        I got hard judgment from my father, which I expected, I made him promise not to share this with his brothers (who are assholes) I told him whether he likes it or not I am an adult and I deserve respect and privacy especially when it concerns my health. (he begrudgingly agreed)

        My mom on the other hand was supportive, but she has the tendency to add some dramatic flair about everything. her typical M.O. is to pop onto social media and rattle on about how something that is not happening directly to her, is affecting her ( I get it there no talking to the man she married about this stuff, so it's nice to have someone to listen).

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        I'm glad your father did agree to respect your privacy by not sharing with your family. And I guess I should be glad my mom keeps the dramatic flair off of the socials!

        I'm both lucky and unlucky that my brother had VGS 15 years ago. On the one hand, my mom understands the concept and has seen my brother's good results from it, (we inherited the obesity from my father's side, and Mom has never dealt with more than those pesky 10 lbs average weight people always want to lose). On the other hand, my brother took exactly the opposite approach from me. He didn't live near family and told no one, had no support. He went to Mexico as self-pay and didn't say a word until about 4 weeks after when he was having some serious emotional struggles, living alone, and compounded by the fear of realizing that to get family support, he had to "confess." So his recovery was very different than what I anticipate for me. But because of all that, my mom definitely sees this as a "REALLY BIG DEAL." Which it is, but not the level she's at with it. Like, it's not an open heart surgery being performed in 1982, or experimental cancer treatment. I've also noticed that as my mom ages, she takes change a lot harder. She doesn't have the mental flexibility anymore to make an instant change of plans and roll with it, whereas I do that probably a dozen times a day.

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