Hi Guys, I've posted here before after having my band re-positioned in April I'm not doing so well at this whole band thing anymore and have become really depressed and hopeless. I still have my same cravings and although I don't have a good fill yet im still choosing food that is horrible for me. I think im addicted to sugar and carbs. I cannot say no to them. I try and do okay for a day or 2 and then i get moody and upset and pissed off if someone says don't eat that... I feel like maybe I made the wrong choice with the band. Ive actually gained weight since my last surgery in april and im so sad. I've gained 10 pounds since April and not lost anything since back in November of 2003. I don't know what to do. I want to be able to eat things I like without gaining and yet I feel like i really have to diet and the whole reason i got this band was to help me because I couldn't diet... I guess I thought this would be a little easier than it is... I don't know what to do. My whole attitude about the band has gone downhill and im not sure what to do to get myself back into the mood that I can do this. I still have another 120 pounds to go to reach goal and although i've lost 55 pounds it's taken me a year and a half to get to that. I read about people losing 100 or more pounds in a few months and im so sad.. I feel like this is never going to work for me. Do any of you have any advice. I really need some help here.. I don't know what to do.

Thanks in advance

Cindy :phanvan

I'll just chime in here to say that I, too, have been on anti-depressants for years and Thank God for them!

Often, people think of depression as a weakness or fault. Even today, emotional problems still seem to have a stigma. What a shame. If I could just once give someone else a view of where my life was BEFORE anti-depressants. They would never believe the AFTER.

I'm sure there is someone who will correct me, but the truth is most severely overweight people DO deal with depression. Depression and compulsive behaviors all live in the same family.

Of course it's depressing to see others lose 100 lbs in a year while you fight every bite you put in your mouth. I know. I've lost 55-60 lbs since May 29th of last year and there are plenty of folks around me celebrating their century marks. But you have to give yourself credit where credit is due. You've come this far! You are banded. That's half the battle right there if you maintain and just try to meet it halfway.

Focus on protein. Everyday I just try to reach that goal of 58-60grams of protein. No one strays any more than me, either. I told myself I would not starve myself with this band and that if I really and truly wanted something (like chocolate or dessert) I'd have it with the full knowledge that it may set me back in my weight loss. And it has! LOL. I'm about halfway to my goal when others who started around the same time have disciplined themselves far better than I.

So what? I have the rest of my life to lose this weight. I have a Lapband. It's good for as long as I need it to be. I don't have a specific window of time in which I can lose weight. Some folks even let their fill out and take a break for awhile. Maybe you do need a rest. The coolest thing is that when you have rested and all the sudden you wake up one morning hating how bad your ankles feel when you walk or the fact that you can't ride a bicycle, then you just ask the doc to 'fill er up' and head out on your merry way once again. Is that not cool?

We all set expectations for ourselves, publicy or privately, then we get down on ourselves because we didn't meet that goal. You are definitely not alone. I have days when I just cannot believe I put that candy in my mouth (after ALL I've been through.) I'm such an out of control loser. NOT!! I took the first step, which was getting the tool. Now, I'm just leisurely (but steadily) learning how to work it. Some things I try work like a charm, others send me cursing the scale the next morning. Talk about metabolisms?? Mine was pronounced dead back in the 80's. (R.I.P.)

Anyway. I'll get off my rant, but please, please, please do not give up on this journey. Take a breather. Talk to someone who has experience with compulsive eating issues. Seek out medical care (believe it or not, depression IS a hormone imbalance and can be managed with great success!). Join Curves. Remove those things and people which threaten your success and surround yourself with people and things that encourage you to LIVE the rest of your life. (Often people sabotage us, because they're afraid if WE change, they might also have to. )

All this from a 43 yr old who's cholesterol was 306 just over a year ago and who's cholesterol is now 168. I have suffered blood clots in my legs, my lungs and came far closer to dying than anyone should at this age - all because of my obesity. I was headed straight for a serious cardiac event and had so many things left yet to do. (My kids, grandkids someday?, bicycling, sky-diving, seeing Ireland, kayaking, climbing stairs without needing oxygen:-( )

So many people want this chance, but can't afford it or have no insurance to help them with it. They still suffer from this horrible disease. We have been given a second chance.

I wish you the best of luck in finding that determination to move forward with this journey!!!

Leatha

Plano, Texas

250/190/who cares? as long as I'm alive.

Letha

What a great inspirational post!! Thank you for posting it. I'm sure Cindy will appreciate it as much as I just did. This one is going into my inspriational file for when I have those down days.

Leatha,

That really is an awesome post. All you guys give such good advise, I just get so much out of reading these threads. I think I'll tow the line tomorrow, and start my morning with an Atkins shake and a smile on my face for the blessings I enjoy and thank God for my band. Some days are easy and some days just try to whip you. Hang tough and be kind to yourself.

Hi Cindy,

Please dont give up. I find that if you kick the carbs for a while, it helps with the sugar cravings. All of us here are food addicts with different weaknesses. Before I was banded, I was a bread-aholic. Then after having my second child, I became a sugar holic. I am also insulin resistant and gain weight very easily. You can conquer the addictions. Seek a therapist who specializes in food disorders if you can.

Babs in TX

334/211/170

-123

6/23/03

Cindy,

First I want to say DONT GIVE UP! Loosing 55lbs without a good fill is excellent!

Everyone here have given you great ideas!

PLEASE get some blood work to check your thyroid function, hormone levels and your blood sugar and have them check for insulin resistance. If they find an inbalance it could be easily fixed with medication and you'll be on your way to loosing again!

DId you know that one of the side effects of birth control pills is weight gain? This could be hindering your efforts. I know the pills are important for you to have but maybe you need a different kind of pill.

I also think you need a good fill. Making better choices is much easier when you can only fit a little food in your pouch! I was making bad choices too before I was restricted. Sometimes we have a little tinkering to do with our band before it works well! Hang in there.

Please let us know how you're doing.

Marsha, RN

Cindy hang in there. You have recieved excellent advise,I have enjoyed reading all of them. ...... Letha youradvice was insprational to me also,THANK YOU...I live in the mid cities but do a lot of murals in Frisco and Plano, would love to meet up with you someday...Janie

Originally posted by Janie Jackson

Letha youradvice was insprational to me also,THANK YOU...I live in the mid cities but do a lot of murals in Frisco and Plano, would love to meet up with you someday...Janie

Thanks Janie!

Yes. I think there are several of us who need to get together at some point.

Thanks again,

Leatha

Sorry this is a late coment, I've been off the computer for a few days, just being busy. Anyway, you have received tons of good advice here, I say try them all if you have to. Eventually, you will find your way again. Someone once told me "if you're going through Hell, for God's sake keep on going! Don't stop and get stuck there..." It is really true. Even if you don't know the right answer, keep up the fight and the prayers and you will come out on the right side. I wanted to chime in on the medication angle. I work in pharmacy and I have had my own struggles with both thyroid and birth control medication. Both of these drug classes are difficult to dose right. It takes a lot of trial and error for some patients. Do not give up or give in to the docs until your really feel better. One dose does not fit all! If you have access, check in with an endocrinologist (glandular specialist). All of these hormone systems affect each other, so messing with thyroid can change up your emotional status and or your sex hormone status or more. Also, check and see if you are insulin resistant. Those of us who are, with or without diabetes symptoms, sometimes overproduce insulin (to overcome the resistance) and that affects these hormone systems too. Plus, insulin is a potent fat storing hormone and appetite stimulant! AUGHH! That is so unfair for those of us trying to lose weight! A dietician consult can help you avoid insulin peaks and there is medication to fight insulin resistance. FIGHT! Just as an aside, check out Guinivere in the new King Arthur movie. She will inspire the fight in you. She kicks butt! Lois

"if you're going through Hell, for God's sake keep on going! Don't stop and get stuck there..." It is really true.

What a great saying ! I will have to remember this one

Even though this thread is so old, I am so glad I found it and hope that we can renew it again. I had that thought all day today, " I don't think I can do this anymore" I am not even a month post-op and I feel like I am already a failure and back to my old ways of eating. Why can't this be easier? It was the first three weeks and all of a sudden the last few days, I feel so out of control and I am eating to the point that my lower stomach is stretched and hurts so much! I feel miserable! I am not doing the right things-taking my time ,taking small bites, chewing enough and it is just slipping right through the band, making me so full and horrible like I always used to. I feel like I gained back the 30 lbs I lost. I know this isn't true but my mind is so confused and I DON"T KNOW HOW TO LISTEN TO MY BODY!!!! I never did before, so why did I think this would be the magic to cure a behavior I have carried with me for 30 years? The difference is now I am in so much pain from overeating and I risk complications of all sorts because now I have to worry about hurting the band, too!!!! I feel helpless. I know I will probably wake up with my period tomorrow and that has to do with it but right now I can't take this feeling!!!!! I feel like I am suffocating. Can anyone relate? Give me some advise? I know tomorrow is another day, the minute I get this in writing, I can think of it as a cleansing and the next minute is a new one! I know I can pull myself together, but why does it have to be so F****ing Hard!:thumbup::wub::w00t::thumbs_down::w00t::thumbs_down::thumbs_down::thumbs_down:Thanks for letting me vent here.

It's been hard for me too. I don't know why it seems like some people don't have as many issues being banded as others. I know now that the band really wasn't the best choice for me but it doesn't mean I'm going to totally give up on my health. I'm going to be one year post-op in August and never lost any weight. There are always going to be a percentage of people who the band doesn't help no matter what people tell you it's not for everyone. Whether or not that's true for you I think is too soon to tell. Good luck and discuss it with your doctor. Nanook.:teeth_smile:

Barb, Please read back through this thread and listen to the messages from the people who have responded to Cindy. I have not yet been banded, and can only imagine how hard it is for you right now. My heart goes out to you and I pray you will be able to get past these fears of failure. You have many years before you and you have plenty of time to accomplish your goals. Everyone is different - different metabolism, different life experiences, different strengths and weaknesses. Try not to compare yourself with others - your experiences will be your own, and you will be successful.

There are threads available that offer mentoring by other bandsters - go to the main page and find the main thread. Then look for one titled "Available LapBand Buddy/I'm here to help..." That has been a very active thread for new bandsters (and those in-waiting like me) as well as those who are struggling with different issues. IndioGirl is the mentor on that thread, and it would be good if you read back through the postings so she does not have to repeat those suggestions she has made several times.

Also --- YOU have lost 33 pounds in under a month. THAT is something to celebrate! Good for you...

Good luck to you.

Edited July 28, 200818 yr by JoannMarie

JO,

You are very sweet and a special person,I can tell. Thank you so much for those words of encouragement. You are right, I have to be patient. We(me!) want instant results and I have to look to the positive. Yes, I did lose that weight(all during the first three weeks,all liquid) I was so great about sticking to that and then when I was given the OK, I went full force into eating again. WRONG! I have learned from it and am on the right track again. When is your date? Love to keep in touch and hear about how you are doing. I will check out the mentoring sites, thanks for the suggestion. If you want to PM me, feel free!

Barb, I'm so glad to hear you are feeling better this morning. You are going to be fine! From what I have gleaned from all the experienced people I have read about on this site, there are a lot of ups and downs associated with this particular lifestyle change -- but then what can I expect from a lifestyle change?? Be tough!

I am moving along in this Quest. All the paperwork is in, met w/psych, nutrition classes complete, scheduling a sleep study, and have an apptmnt set with the surgeon for Sept. 3. The surgeon's coordinator told me I should have my band "in the fall". I'm pushing for early fall. DH and I have a trip to South Korea coming up around Christmas to visit our daughter and her family who are there with the USArmy. I would really like to be settled in to this program well before we go. Long flights and different food choices concern me - I would like to have a routine established by then. (not to mention lose a few pounds to make the whole trip easier!)

Thank you for your kind words. Let's do keep in touch with each other. I will be anxious to hear how you are doing.