Is my Mom trying to steal my shine?

[elektrik_rose 63]

So...I've been working toward my surgery since early last year. My Mom has always been against it. Over the last few months, as I hurried to get my last few appointments finished for insurance authorization, she's had a change of heart. Also, I've been showing her several people's before and after pictures. Well two months ago, she lied to me. She said she went to my surgeon's monthly seminar to learn more about my procedure. I found out a couple weeks ago, she is now almost finished with her appointments for her insurance authorization. I was proud of her. My Mom has been heavy all of her life, has high blood pressure and just recently found out she has severe sleep apnea. Today, I told my boyfriend about my Mom's plans for surgery next month and he flipped. He told me that he along with all of our family (including my Mom's and mine) and friends have always thought my Mom to be jealous of me. I told him she didn't want anyone to know about her surgery and he yelled 'because she is stealing your shine.' I just had surgery on the 12th, and now after talking to him, I can't shake the fact that my Mom can't handle the fact that she will now be the only larger person in our family. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I feel like I should be happy for her. Please help....

[Butterthebean 8,146]

Did you have surgery to be healthy or to be skinnier than your mom? Be happy for yourself....then her. Don't begrudge her a healthier life. Even if she is trying to one up you, be a better person than that.

[elektrik_rose 63]

@butterthebean You're absolutely correct!!!! I did this to be healthier. I am trying every day to figure things out, but very happy about my decision. I will think positively about my Moms surgery next month.

[KRB829 47]

Mr. butterthebean is right, this is for you and your health. Do not worry about others, focus on you and love your mom, because she is reaching out for help as well. That's still your mom and let it go, embrace her and maybe start working out together. It's enough shine to go around:)

[gingerRN 81]

Wow I would be so honored that my mom followed my lead. I see it as a compliment.

[AngelaEEEE 24]

Your mom needed to get healthy. Kudos to you for being an inspiration! shake the feeling and enjoy your new life together

sleeved 3/22/12, H 5'4, SW 217, GW 132, CW 135

[TamaraS 235]

I hope and pray I can convince my mom to get this surgery. She is being so stubborn and doesnt think it will work because in the 80's she had a stomach stapeling and gained all the weight back With how heavy she is I cant imagine her having much time left. Im very happy for you and your mother. That was awesome you were able to show her the many benefits of being sleeved and that she followed your lead

[elektrik_rose 63]

Thank You to everyone who replied!!!! My initial feeling was to be proud of her for her decision. She's lost over 130lbs on her own, using the Michael Thurmon method, but she is still fairly large (still close to 350lbs). I tried to talk her into the surgery years ago. I will continue to be supportive and shake the negativity.

[terrilynndrew 89]

I agree with everyone else, just be supportive...I have a co-worker who is openly jealous of the 80lbs I've lost and she constantly tries to compare her weight loss to mine (she lost 12lbs with the flu...) AND she constantly compares her "small" appetite to mine...sigh...it is what it is...do you, be supportive and the rewards and shine will come

Sent from my iPhone using VST

[lwilliams65 102]

So...I've been working toward my surgery since early last year. My Mom has always been against it. Over the last few months, as I hurried to get my last few appointments finished for insurance authorization, she's had a change of heart. Also, I've been showing her several people's before and after pictures. Well two months ago, she lied to me. She said she went to my surgeon's monthly seminar to learn more about my procedure. I found out a couple weeks ago, she is now almost finished with her appointments for her insurance authorization. I was proud of her. My Mom has been heavy all of her life, has high blood pressure and just recently found out she has severe sleep apnea. Today, I told my boyfriend about my Mom's plans for surgery next month and he flipped. He told me that he along with all of our family (including my Mom's and mine) and friends have always thought my Mom to be jealous of me. I told him she didn't want anyone to know about her surgery and he yelled 'because she is stealing your shine.' I just had surgery on the 12th, and now after talking to him, I can't shake the fact that my Mom can't handle the fact that she will now be the only larger person in our family. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I feel like I should be happy for her. Please help....

My mom did the same thing when i told her my plans for surgery. At first it annoyed me because i thought she was just doing it to one up me but honestly hun, some people are scared to do things on their own, and it helps to see someone follow through before they do. Take it as a compliment and be greatful that your mom wants to lead a healthy life. Congrats on your surgery. )

[elektrik_rose 63]

@Fishy You love punching huh? Punching for ice chips and now punching my BF in the face...LOL! J/K...I totally understand where you are coming from, but my BF knows my Mom always has a hidden agenda. This is the only time in life where my Mom has done something like this. I will be supportive and I am glad she is making a decision to be healthy.

@lwilliams65 I think out of all the answers, yours in the one I can relate to the most, as your Mom did the same thing. Maybe she did need me to move first. My Mom is so headstrong, I guess I never thought she could've been afraid to take the next step to a healthier lifestyle. Thanks so much for your input and for the Congrats! :-)

[ebonisekim 1,713]

So...I've been working toward my surgery since early last year. My Mom has always been against it. Over the last few months' date=' as I hurried to get my last few appointments finished for insurance authorization, she's had a change of heart. Also, I've been showing her several people's before and after pictures. Well two months ago, she lied to me. She said she went to my surgeon's monthly seminar to learn more about my procedure. I found out a couple weeks ago, she is now almost finished with her appointments for her insurance authorization. I was proud of her. My Mom has been heavy all of her life, has high blood pressure and just recently found out she has severe sleep apnea. Today, I told my boyfriend about my Mom's plans for surgery next month and he flipped. He told me that he along with all of our family (including my Mom's and mine) and friends have always thought my Mom to be jealous of me. I told him she didn't want anyone to know about her surgery and he yelled 'because she is stealing your shine.' I just had surgery on the 12th, and now after talking to him, I can't shake the fact that my Mom can't handle the fact that she will now be the only larger person in our family. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I feel like I should be happy for her. Please help....[/quote']

I think in my opinion what bothers you the most is that she didn't tell u her plans you had to found out later in going to the seminar in hopes of her supporting you she than to found hope it's a win win yall both are lucky be happy for your mom

[elektrik_rose 63]

@ebonisekim That could be true as well. Every time I talked to her she was at a different appointment. I now know why. She didn't have to keep it from me though.

[iggychic 1,405]

id punch him then ditch him and join your mom on this fantastic journey!

[Carol Watts 67]

I have a child that stopped talking to me after i had mine. Her dad and other family members say it is cause she is jealous