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post-op depression, anyone? :(



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Hi.

So I'm 6 days post-op, and boy do I feel out of place. Everything is SO different! I feel somewhat separated from my family. All this intense focus on trying to get Protein, my tiny little meals, eating so slow... etc etc etc. Still recovering from surgery a bit. I honestly feel like an alien!

'Just tried to go to bed, but found myself lying in tears instead. This is PERMANENT. There is nothing to do but move forward. Part of my stomach was removed... because I somehow got/allowed myself to become so overweight that this seemed like the only solution.

:'(

Will I ever feel normal again? Will this really all be worth it in the end? Did any of you go through some heavy post-op depression regarding the overwhelming change in life?

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I am 10 months postop and still feel "out of place"...especially when eating out and I sit there and watch everyone inhale their food. For me IT IS TOTALLY worth it. Lost 100 lbs so far and feel TEN times better. Keep your eye on the reasons you had the surgery. At least that is what I try to do. I do not feel "depressed" every day...usually about one day a week now.

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The first thing you have to stop is thinking that this is all your fault. Whatever happened to get you to the point where you needed to ask for help about your weight is nothing to be ashamed of. We all have our pride. I certainly do and for the longest time, I was in denial that I could do this on my own. You took a step to change your life for the better. Yes, you had part of your stomach removed. at this point, there is no buyers remorse. So, you now have to deal with the things you can control and what you have to looked forward to. I've heard that some people do experience some form of depression and at least you are recognizing it before you go into a full blown depression. Coming from someone who has been in a severe depression, it's no fun and you do feel like you are having an out of body experience. Once I took the shame out of what I was feeling and got some help, things started to get better. My advice is to go see someone even if you think it will pass. This is an overwhelming experience and it is a total lifestyle overhaul.

BTW. you are normal, just feeling different right now. Hopefully, when you are all healed up and have adjusted to your new lifestyle you'll see and feel the difference. you can't have regrets now, just keep moving and please go talk to someone( even if it's just once)

Take care

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Thanks, guys... I appreciate your words. This is all pretty new right now... I was planning on setting up some counseling after the new year, "whether I needed it or not" - just because I'm so set on making this as successful as possible. :/ I guess I do need it!

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I sure did feel depressed after surgery. I have battled depression in the past and can't tell you whether that bout was directly related to the surgery (hormonal changes) or not. I was experiencing "buyer's remorse" and stayed up nights watching the food Network and looking up restaurant menus online just torturing myself with "all the things I would not be able to eat anymore".

I also was feeling lost socially. My life had always revolved around food and now I was taking that component out of all my relationships. It was so bad that I didn't know how to go out with my wife since we couldn't go out to eat!

Eventually, things started to look "more normal" for me and as I progressed through the food stages I realized that food wasn't out of the equation, but that it simply was different as far as quantity and quality. I also learned, or am learning (still struggle at times) new ways to related to people socially as well as things to do.

Anyway, every person is different and every surgery turns out to be different. I would not dare to say I know what you are feeling since we all go through a different process. I can tell you though that in my case things did get better. I will be three months out the day after tomorrow and feel much, much better with every day that passes.

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I didn't feel normal until about week 3. You will be fine just yake it one day at a time!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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