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Feeling crappy and out of control, I honestly... can't wait for liquid diet
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So i've posted about falling off the wagon issues over the past month... and I feel like these "lasts" have taken over control... Before booking the surgery I had been reading about others struggling with the food funerals and I remember clearly saying I have no need or want for that, I don't want to de-rail my success, I want to continue my good habits until I have the surgery...
Somehow between that and 2 weeks later, I've somehow done the complete opposite
I still run 5km/3miles 4 times a week, (ok who am i trying to kid, it's like 2.9miles/4.59 km) but I'm getting there, I'm close, the program says I completed 5km but i'm just a bit off on the treadmill, I bet you if i lost the incline I'd have it already.
However, I am still happy that I am continuing my running schedule! That's the good news, the bad news is that I have GAINED 7.8'ish pounds in 1 month :| I kid you not! ( I weighed myself at night when I normally weigh myself when I do in the morning... however, I'm not using that as an excuse or Water weight, or I'm gaining muscle since 1 pound of fat/muscle/cheese etc is 1 pound.)
I honestly feel like crap, my runs have been getting a bit harder (prob due to the crap I've been eating.. and in all seriousness, i haven't been AS BAD over the past month as I have been before!!! I feel like if I look at food right now I gain weight even without consuming it!
It just seems since I lost the 26.6 pounds, it has come back SOOOOOOOOOO much easier and quicker than before. I am now sitting at a weight loss of 18.8 and no i'm NOT i refuse to update the ticker...
I honestly feel like crap, but cant help myself from doing my lasts... how bad was everyone else's food funerals? Did everyone else gain a substantial amount of weight pre-liquid diet? I know a few of you are super strict with wanting to loose a certain amount before their surgery date.. and I know that some enjoyed their food funeral or wish they did more since I've read a few crave what they didnt have for their funerals... I know that everyone is different
MY FEAR! I over the next 2 weeks and 6 days... lets just say hypothetically.... I get up to 260 pounds... which is NOT far off from now (254.4) The amount on my sheet I submitted to the surgeon was 249 (I later got down to 246.6 but they dont know that!) ... even if I was to lose 10 pound on my liquid diet... I'd get back down to 250... how bad would I look walking into surgery the same as what I said I was in November after completing a 2 week liquid diet?!?!?!?! I was hoping to go in at 240...
ugh... Im stressed... I should have never got on that scale last night. I seriously have thoughts of running over it with my suv :|
So my questions for those who are pre-op.... are you feeling the same way I am? are you gaining your last few weeks? or am I the only one who broke down?
My question for those who are post op, please tell me i'm not the only one who's gained 10 pounds ish before liquid diets? how bad were your food funerals?