Family, Kids, Vsg, And Hospitals

[JustSayMoe 163]

Greetings!

I have my surgery scheduled for 2/14/13. It's me, my wife, a 2 yo, and a 6 yo. My closest family is almost 12 hours out and my hospital is 90 minutes away.

My plan was to get a hotel room the night before surgery with whole family. Report to surgery the next day and keep them in the area. They would either visit me in the hospital, hang out around the town, or be in the hotel until I'm cleared to go home.

Does this sound reasonable? I know most patients spend one night in the hospital, but what's the typical policy towards kids in recovery? Should I put my sister on plane to help out? I'm afraid my wife is going to be overwelmed with the kids, but she wants to be by my side at the same time.

Any advise would be welcomed.

Thanks!

[CoCo41 54]

Greetings!

I have my surgery scheduled for 2/14/13. It's me, my wife, a 2 yo, and a 6 yo. My closest family is almost 12 hours out and my hospital is 90 minutes away.

My plan was to get a hotel room the night before surgery with whole family. Report to surgery the next day and keep them in the area. They would either visit me in the hospital, hang out around the town, or be in the hotel until I'm cleared to go home.

Does this sound reasonable? I know most patients spend one night in the hospital, but what's the typical policy towards kids in recovery? Should I put my sister on plane to help out? I'm afraid my wife is going to be overwelmed with the kids, but she wants to be by my side at the same time.

Any advise would be welcomed.

Thanks!

If your sister can come, have her come. My sister came and that gave my hubby the ability to be with me everyday

[iggychic 1,405]

Have your sister come. I was in hospital 22 days and if we didn't have the support of a loving nanny and grandma, it would have been hell (ok it still was but it was not as bad) on my husband. Having them meant he could be with me when they had to make major decisions about my care and he was with me for both surgeries. My first doc was 90 mins away and the second hospital was almost three hours with ferry time.

Honestly, the kids don't need to be with you during recovery. You will need the break and the little ones won't understand anyhoo. It's better not to have to put up a good front for them.

My son is 7 but was six when I was in hospital. He came a few times with DH to visit...which was hell on me...we've never been apart that long, but when he was there I was really really sick. He is used to hospital (he was in for a couple years himself) so he takes sick well...but most kids would find the fact that daddy has tubes in his nose and arms and where ever kind of hard to see and understand IMO it's better you just have your wife and come home weak and tired, verses seeing all of the hospital stuff on kids not used to seeing that.

[sramos89 260]

In my opinion from someone who has been through it. You need a caregiver for YOU while in the hospital, don't bring the kids at all. Your wife is going to be stressed and worried about you and even the most well behaved kids are going to be bored to death for 2 days in a hospital. I would leave your kids at home with a sitter. Have your sister come take care of you and leave the wife at home or have the sister come to your home to watch the kids and take your wife with you. We left our daughter with my parents and my husband took me. We had a 5 hour drive, one night in a hotel and then two days in the hospital. I threw up, cried, demanded stuff from my husband in a rude way. No children need to see that from their parents.

[Kivtuar 59]

My 15 year old begged to come, and ended up bawling in the hospital room when I got in from recovery and then cried all the way home too. Kids just aren't prepared to see their parents hurt.

Plus as others have said, you will want to put a strong face on for them and there is really no way to do it. Especially those first few times you are trying to stand up and walk.

Leave your kids at home

[Butlersh 213]

I'm 5 days out, with a 7, 5 and 10 month old - I did not see my kids the day of surgery - i was way to out of it. They did come for a short visit the next day, I stayed two nights, but it was unnecessary. If your sister can come for the kids, and you can have your spouse there, then that's best case scenario.

[ozeedonkee 145]

I was way to out of it day of surgery

to even notice if anyone was there, day 2 I slept and loved it (don't get a lot of sleep at home), day 3 husband and kids came to visit. That was nice and even though they're good kids, they got bored quickly. I was happy to be by myself for a few days. I could concentrate on ME. Get someone in to help. It will at least give you and your wife some peace of mind knowing the kids are safe and your wife can come and go from hospital as she pleases.

[Fair2bslimLady 72]

Im in the same boat 3 kids family in another state, happy the hospital is 5 minutes away and the hubs will stay with the kids and pick me up when Im ready, no big deal dont over think it, if your wife can handle the kids and help you then great if not then you need help, the more you think the more worry you get. i will take my cell phone with me and the nurses will keep him updated.

[lexybloch 12]

Im having my surgery in Houston which is 2 1/2 hours from home...I have a 7 and 4 year old and my mom volunteered to keep them so my hubby could come....all right before X-MAS.....all of my other family live in Lubbock which is 8 hours away....I hope I am not crazy!

[altagirl 127]

You should also check the hospital policy. At the hospital where I work kids under 14 are not allowed to visit in most cases.

You really won't be up for visitors and like someone else mentioned kids really are not preparted to see a parent in pain.

Maybe your sister (or family friend) can stay with kids at home and your wife can go with you to hospital - it could be much more fun for the kids.

[lessofmeismore 1,405]

Bring your sister to help you. It will be too hard on your wife to help you and keep up with a 2 & 6 year old. Trust me! It wore out my 19 year old daughter just helping me.

You never know how you will be after surgery.

Bring your extra help

[lucky8mb1 167]

I'm mom to an 8 and 5 year old. They don't know what's happening, and for me that's best. My husband will visit me the day of surgery while the kids are in school. He'll leave to pick them up and I'll be on my own until the next day when he picks me up at discharge - again while the kids are in school.

It's a little different for us because the hospital is closer to home, but I'll be honest - I'm really looking forward to a couple days just for me. I have to worry about taking care of myself and that's it. No work, no wife stuff, no mom stuff. Just me. I would be ok all alone for the entire time, but my husband would laugh in my face if I told him not to bother coming on surgery day!

We both work, so it's not unusual for either of us to take an overnight business trip. The other parent is used to being "single" for a day or two here and there. It's what works for us.

[JustSayMoe 163]

I spoke to my big sister and she's willing to hop on a plane with my niece on 2/13 to entertain the kids and manage them at my house. They will fly out on Sunday.

What an awesome sister I have!

We fought like cats and dogs as kids, but she's there for me.

Looks like my wife will be with me the whole time.

[Kivtuar 59]

That is great! A much better alternative

[lessofmeismore 1,405]

Awesome sister and smart decision!