female only Ex Issues- Please Help!

[notime 340]

MDM is right. This man does not sound like someone who will support you on your weight loss program, on your path to better health and longer life. Is it wise to turn to an enabler? Please consider this in your deliberations.

[diamondkized 70]

My husband is against me having the surgery and he said that I wouldn't look right skinny and in my head I am thinking I wouldnt look right dead either cause my fat ass had a heart attack! I have to say that although I love my husband this is my body and he doesnt and has never walked in my shoes. My grandmother always told me that a man can come and go and she is right. If you stay big is a man guaranteed to stay with you- NOPE. If you lose weight is he guaranteed to stay with you- NOPE. You have to live your life for you. When you look in the mirror how do you feel? If you could go back would you? Love is unconditional regardless and as long as he can offer you that, you two will be fine. Ask yourself, if you had a daughter in your situation what you would tell her. Just my two cents...

[Fallenangel2904 494]

Thank you all for all the honest answer, tough love and all. It's a rough day for me. I know I need to tell him soon. And to answer the question- we broke up for a few reasons. Honestly there are a little blurry now. We live a bit far from each other that was one of the issues, but things are different now he used to live at home with his mother and now he has his own place. We really just started to take each other for granted, lots of back and forth and we both hurt it each other. It was a messy breakup. We spoke several times over the last two years even saw each other a few times but never really 'tried' again. I'm thinking that our time to really 'try' may never come. I've always been a romantic, only when it came to my relationship with this guy- but maybe this just wasn't meant to be. Maybe the timing is so off because it just wasn't suppose to happen.

Thank you all I'm still trying to mull it over because its never been easy when it came to my feelings for this guy. He's the only person who's ever really gotten to me. I really don't think ill win either way here

[Almostthere34 128]

Thank you all for all the honest answer' date=' tough love and all. It's a rough day for me. I know I need to tell him soon. And to answer the question- we broke up for a few reasons. Honestly there are a little blurry now. We live a bit far from each other that was one of the issues, but things are different now he used to live at home with his mother and now he has his own place. We really just started to take each other for granted, lots of back and forth and we both hurt it each other. It was a messy breakup. We spoke several times over the last two years even saw each other a few times but never really 'tried' again. I'm thinking that our time to really 'try' may never come. I've always been a romantic, only when it came to my relationship with this guy- but maybe this just wasn't meant to be. Maybe the timing is so off because it just wasn't suppose to happen.

Thank you all I'm still trying to mull it over because its never been easy when it came to my feelings for this guy. He's the only person who's ever really gotten to me. I really don't think ill win either way here [/quote']

I personally think you should take some time and focus on you. Your health is important. He doesn't sound like the one because the one will love you no matter what you look like. My husband who is so far from perfect I should call him the antiperfect has never made my weight an issue, fat, skinny, or in-between. If he loves you he will think your sh#*! don't stink.

[on the way to the new me 18]

The only way you will win is by being healthy!! My opinion is to spend time working on you now! get to a weight where you feel comfortable and than revisit this... All this stress will just slow you down from your ultimate goal of being healthy! You deserve that and it seems he thinks the same thing. Maybe you will never be romantic again but maybe you two can be really good friends. Just my opinion I know it is easier said than done! Good luck!!

[iggychic 1,405]

The fact that you and he are so focused on your weight tells me it's not a relationship worth hanging onto. He wouldn't be sure if he'd be attracted at 250? That's just not something a man who "loves you" says. And if he's loved you so much for the last two years...where's he been?

You broke up for numerous reasons. Write them down and remember them. They don't get better the second time around and distance is NOT a reason for a break up. When I met my husband I lived in Alaska and he lived in Texas. We didn't live in the same state, even within driving distance for heck...three no maybe it was five years almost. If you were actually in love you'd make it work, you'd make the effort.

We are married now, 12 years later, with a 7 year old child. He fell in love with me when I was a size 2 and he's never been out of love with me, even when I was an 18. In this, size does not matter! The fact that the douch would even say that he might not be attracted to you at 250 screams slimeball...sorry but it does. It's not love honey, it's a bad break up romance that will fail and hurt you more later. You got out once, stay out and focus on yourself.

[Kelsan 117]

Stop talking to him! You're on a different path now and he's an X for a reason.

[alabamaorthogirl 9]

Do not get back with this guy. You need to move forward and be with someone who will encourage you with your goals. You will find someone else. I believe in second chances but he isn't really giving you a reason to give him one.

[Ima Loser 197]

If he even uses your weight (higher or lower) as a reason not to be attracted to you he has issues. If he loves you truely he will love you no matter what size you are and he will continue to be attracted to you if you lose 1 more pound or 100 more pounds... I dont think you NEED to tell him about surgery, I think you should take some time and spend it by yourself. Get to your goal no matter what that might be... If you still have some lingering feelings for him, meet up with him, talk in person, let him see how you are as beautiful thin as you were heavy. If he looks at you and still can't resist you then he truely does have feelings for you... If not then his loss!

[maharet111 544]

Reconnecting with ex lovers is like going to an all you can eat buffet...never a good idea and you always pay for it later.

Junk punch him to the curb..be the strong and confident woman you are!!!

[Finding MeMe 204]

Good luck, I think you are more confident and know what you want in a man and what is best for you...

[vonego82 36]

okay, for me my ex has been dying to get me on a date and its all because of my weight loss! he knows I'm confident and I'm looking great! but what we both need to remember is that, there was once a reason for why we broke up and if they truly love us, then they need to accept us either fat or skinny! normal exercise or sleeved!

best of luck!!

<3