Why Lie?!?!

[*Dean* 1,594]

Funnily enough, my 8 year old daughter is walking around the house at the moment repeating her line for school mass this morning "Help me not to judge or I myself will be judged by the Lord".

[NurseGrace 509]

Please excuse her, it seems as though her ID has run rampant.

Rather amusing I must say, a nurse (I.e. NA, CNA, RN), who knows what her credentials are, is trying to provide a psychological perspective to the opinion that you provided... a field she has not been formally educated in.

I'm sorry, I don't quite know what you mean by that. I'm not trying to be facetious either, I just don't follow you. I don't know what you mean by ID has run rampant.

Almost ALL of my nursing education has been in the field of psych. It's my specialty and its what I'm going to grad school for, so again, I'm not sure what you mean by that. I thought I was clear about what my specialty is, not that anyone cares because this is the internet and I will be the first to tell anyone that they shouldn't take medical advice from internet forums, but if you are questioning where my training is, that would be it. I do inpatient psychiatric treatment on a locked ward. My patients range from personality disorders, borderlines, to patients who's issues have more to do with drug abuse than actual mental illness. That's my background.

I'm in transition right now because of grad school and will more than likely have diagnosing privileges and prescriptive privileges within the next 18 - 24 months. I don't expect anyone to care in the slightest what I do, its not very interesting, but I only explain myself to say that, yes, I do have formal education in this field, its my life.

[NurseGrace 509]

Everyone has their own way. I'm completely open about it, especially if someone asks a direct question.

I've only been sleeved last November and I'm happy to say that because of my openness and probably my enthusiasm two people I know are now on their WLS journey.

Things happen a lot quicker with WLS in Australia. One of the people is a daughter of a work friend. She had her surgery 3 weeks ago and has decided to keep it a secret from everyone, except me, her mum and her husband.

I don't judge her for that decision but I have seen that she's having some issues with maintaining the secret with her in laws. I'm hoping that over time, if the real story comes out, it doesn't damage her relationship with them. She's only young and newly married.

Yep, I think I am kind of like the girl you describe. Over time I will let more and more people in on what I have done more than likely, because the questions WILL come, and especially people who are heavy because it could do them could to understand that there are options but it will not be drug out of my before I am ready to talk about it. Fact is, there is still a lot I am unsure about, and I don't want other people's opinions about it clouding my thinking right now, because I feel that while I am doing really well, I also feel that I am in a state where I am vulnerable emotionally, because I take this surgery really seriously and I just cannot risk the negativity in my personal life at the moment.

[lessofmeismore 1,405]

Ahh yes Dean you are so right! It is a tangled web i have created... I originally wanted only my mom and immediate family to know but after just one family reunion, that I didn't attend, everyone knew because some one let it slip lol

I do worry about my lies coming back to haunt me and yes sometimes I wish it was easier and I had been honest and just dealt with it then but I didn't ... So this story will be continued... (Scary music plays)

As for other people asking I sometimes tell them and have conversations about it etc but there are times when I'm in a crowded hair salon and my hair dresser asks oh how have you done it and all eyes are on me and I lie... I say it's been hard and try and change the subject.

I guess I am uncommitted in my decision to tell or not to tell.

I suppose it makes me selfish at times, idk, I just do what I do at the time.

[NurseGrace 509]

Ahh yes Dean you are so right! It is a tangled web i have created... I originally wanted only my mom and immediate family to know but after just one family reunion, that I didn't attend, everyone knew because some one let it slip lol

I do worry about my lies coming back to haunt me and yes sometimes I wish it was easier and I had been honest and just dealt with it then but I didn't ... So this story will be continued... (Scary music plays)

As for other people asking I sometimes tell them and have conversations about it etc but there are times when I'm in a crowded hair salon and my hair dresser asks oh how have you done it and all eyes are on me and I lie... I say it's been hard and try and change the subject.

I guess I am uncommitted in my decision to tell or not to tell.

I suppose it makes me selfish at times, idk, I just do what I do at the time.

I wouldnt worry about it too much. Reasonable people understand that its personal when they find out that you have had surgery and have been less than forthright with HOW you lost the weight. The only time I absolutely will tell every time is if I am talking to a severely obese person, I feel like those are the people that need to understand that there are things they can do to help themselves. I'll tell a 300 pounder every day of the week. Other people - it just depends.

[Pelekania 156]

I'm sorry' date=' I don't quite know what you mean by that. I'm not trying to be facetious either, I just don't follow you. I don't know what you mean by ID has run rampant.

Almost ALL of my nursing education has been in the field of psych. It's my specialty and its what I'm going to grad school for, so again, I'm not sure what you mean by that. I thought I was clear about what my specialty is, not that anyone cares because this is the internet and I will be the first to tell anyone that they shouldn't take medical advice from internet forums, but if you are questioning where my training is, that would be it. I do inpatient psychiatric treatment on a locked ward. My patients range from personality disorders, borderlines, to patients who's issues have more to do with drug abuse than actual mental illness. That's my background.

I'm in transition right now because of grad school and will more than likely have diagnosing privileges and prescriptive privileges within the next 18 - 24 months. I don't expect anyone to care in the slightest what I do, its not very interesting, but I only explain myself to say that, yes, I do have formal education in this field, its my life.[/quote']

First and foremost, congrats to you. I have a few friends that are NPs and it is a very rewarding career! Especially since it seems that you enjoy psychology, becoming a psychiatric NP should be rewarding and interesting as well.

When I stated that your id was in control, I was referring to one of Freud's psychoanalytic theories of personality, the founder of psychology.

I have never met an RN, even one with a specialty in a particular field, make the claims as you have in regards to being able to diagnosis mental illnesses or disorders. That's is why I mentioned your credentials, as those are things that are left to psychologist and psychiatrist.

Again, best of look with your education because you will have tedious, yet wonderful years ahead of you.

[*Dean* 1,594]

Ahh yes Dean you are so right! It is a tangled web i have created... I originally wanted only my mom and immediate family to know but after just one family reunion, that I didn't attend, everyone knew because some one let it slip lol

I do worry about my lies coming back to haunt me and yes sometimes I wish it was easier and I had been honest and just dealt with it then but I didn't ... So this story will be continued... (Scary music plays)

As for other people asking I sometimes tell them and have conversations about it etc but there are times when I'm in a crowded hair salon and my hair dresser asks oh how have you done it and all eyes are on me and I lie... I say it's been hard and try and change the subject.

I guess I am uncommitted in my decision to tell or not to tell.

I suppose it makes me selfish at times, idk, I just do what I do at the time.

Now that the cat is out of the bag with your family it will be fine. I don't see how anyone could hold any ill will against someone with a heart as big as yours Lisa. I'm sure you'll find in the short term it will be a weight off your shoulders.

Some situations I have to admit sound harder for women than men, like the hairdresser one. But I have been in in a similar situation with a bunch of Detectives and SWAT operatives (read massive alpha males) and when asked felt on the spot. It was like swallowing glass answering. They all responded really well.

Over time this will be a 'non issue'. Eventually we won't be the fat person now skinny and the questions will stop getting asked. I'm looking forward to that day

[lessofmeismore 1,405]

Thank you! I am so looking forward to that day as well... For all of us

[ebonisekim 1,713]

Damn...post my picture' date=' tell my story on a social network to hundreds of strangers....yet my surgery is private..WTF![/quote']

That's what I'm saying ..preach I believe I said this in at earlier post

[ebonisekim 1,713]

I have been thinking the same thing since I started reading some of these replies to my OP. This reinforces my opinion that because of the negative connotations that has been associated with WLS by society' date=' we (generally speaking) are ashamed to share our journey with those who have not experienced it.

Everyone is entitled to disclose whatever they wish with whomever they choose to. I am open with whom I choose and those that I don't wish to share the entitle truth with, I just don't answer their question. Call it rude.[/quote']

Aye and then sex comes up on some threads for example ppl would consider this very private but yet surgery is.. not judging just taking notes ..

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

Talking online to total strangers is not the same as talking to people that are in you're real life.

I don't talk to people in my life about my sexual life either. So what?

[VSG_me 184]

My old boss lied and told everyone in the office she had hemorrhoid surgery when anyone asked where she had been after missing work for about 2 weeks. After she started losing weight so fast, everyone put two and two together and figured out what really happened and it became all the rage of office gossip.

On a high note she lost a lot of weight with her sleeve and was part of the reason I looked into it for me!I didn't want to fall into that category with nosy coworkers so I was straight up about it when I came back from surgery. It took the taboo and guessing off their lips for sure! And almost all have been very supportive and happy for me, at least to my face! The ones who didn't comment, well to each his own - like the saying goes, if you don't have anything nice to say......

[Mrs Havelock 154]

I lost over a hundred pounds in five months without wls - crash dieting and lots of exercise. You can't assume she has had surgery. I think some of the comments here are really mean and horrible.

Maybe she has cancer and doesn't want to share it - who knows? Not any of us, certainly.

[No game 14,437]

I lost over a hundred pounds in five months without wls - crash dieting and lots of exercise. You can't assume she has had surgery. I think some of the comments here are really mean and horrible.

Maybe she has cancer and doesn't want to share it - who knows? Not any of use' date=' certainly.[/quote']

The voice of reason thank you.

[VSG_me 184]

I lost over a hundred pounds in five months without wls - crash dieting and lots of exercise. You can't assume she has had surgery. I think some of the comments here are really mean and horrible.

Maybe she has cancer and doesn't want to share it - who knows? Not any of use, certainly.

Well, my boss confirmed it to everyone after the jig was up It's a cruel world, some people will speculate.