Why Lie?!?!

[NDN_RN 527]

Just to addend my post, if someone struggling with weight issues asks, AND I know them well enough that they would respect my privacy, I would likely tell them about the surgery. I often see people on the street or in a building with weight issues and I want to run up to them and tell them the wonders of gastric sleeve surgery. But I know most would not receive a cold call like that very well.

Done Did It!

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

I am open, lots of people know, but only if they have a reason to know. Friends and family who have been very supportive - they know. Even a few "new friends" who didn't know me at 300# know, again, just becasue we are friends and I am open about major life events.

Now, when it comes to aquaintances and strangers - it depends. Frankly, most of the time people don't really care so why should I bother? It isn't worth the effort. If they are someone who might genuinely learn something from my experience, I do talk to them about it. I met a lady working at a consignment store that was waiting for her sleeve, so I had no problem talking to her about it, for example.

So if someone asks me "how did you do it" - my evasive answer is "it wasn't easy!" or "low carbing, lots of exercise, small portions, big lifestyle changes" that sort of thing. If they persist and they meet my criteria of "worth bothering with" I tell them the whole story.

[amytug 996]

I do not plan on telling anyone at first, I hope that I can keep it a secret from my children even.

Part of it is because I don't want people to Be less excited about my weight loss or less supportive, Because usually people are un educated about weight-loss surgery and they think it is the easy way out. I also don't want to be labeled "The one who had weight-loss surgery"

Or now, when I lose all of the weight and am able to keep it off I hope that I can help others. If someone who is very overweight asks me how I was successful I will share with them. People who actually want to know. I still hope it never gets back to the in laws

[TheGamer 406]

There's still so much fat stigma out there, and even though WLS is just one tool to help with weight loss, there's a huge stigma about that, too! After all, you "cheated" to lose the weight when all you should REALLY need is "diet and exercise" (cue eye rolling here).

Personally, I've been very open with the people that I know that I see on a daily basis. After all, it's pretty obvious when I'm gone for two weeks and return not eating. My coworkers have been super supportive and amazing about the whole things. On the other hand, I have lots of people that I know say, online, and I've not given them specifics. All they know is I had "gastrointestinal" surgery. Why? I don't want to have to go through the whole thing multiple times and I don't want to deal with the fact that even if you're losing weight, fat stigma still exists.

[Boofster 159]

I was sleeved on Monday. I told a few people, like my immediate family, two close friends and cousin. The reactions have been mixed. Some friends said "oooh, that scares me", "that's not for me" and the best was: "get used to throwing up all the time." HA! People are so uninformed. I might tell other people and co-workers in time, but for now, if confronted, I will say it's a major lifestyle change (which is the truth)

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

.Why lie about having weight loss surgery

Pelekania

If someone asked me "did i/you have WLS???" and i answered "no I did not", that WOULD be a lie - but it still is up to,person what to say ( we are all in agreement about that)

No one ever asked me the "did you have WLS"

i received the "what diet did you use, did you exercise," stuff like that

if that person/aquaintance , friend of yours- is a little shy/ uncomftable to tell their story, and they only tell you "Water aerobics" they are stating one of their exercises that have helped her, IMO its fine that she said that

my friends, family - i shared "details" of WLS, my excitement, new found health and happiness they were thrilled

not wanting to go into big discussion with every tom, frank and harry, or sue, beth and ellen??? i would say the standby andswer of proper eating et al to others

thats it

PS

i just came back to edit, and where i had referrenced the names, Tom and Harry, and the name that "rhymes" with bic - they "censored" it - putting D***K - OMG

do we have "sleeve police watching our every move? LOL

[thinoneday 445]

Yup, sure have, because after 3 + years you get really sick of hearing "oh you took the easy way out" . . . that gets really old. . . so when i get a compliment and they ask how i did it, i just say "lots of determination" and leave it at that.

[Nicolanz 1,484]

Maybe it was Water aerobics? Why assume wls? I've lost 50 pounds in 4 mos before without wls.

[Pelekania 156]

Well, yes we DO have privacy but if a coworker (who is probably fat too I would guess) asks then I would TELL them the many benefits of WLS. It's your choice but informing other people who may need it is one thing that I look forward to doing. I tell ANYONE who asks and have had at least 2 people pursue WLS because of my openness.

I didn't tell anyone before hand besides my wife and openly tell anyone who asks about it now. And you question is the reason: Why Lie? We openly boast about so many things in our life, kids, work, homes etc, why not boast about the single most beneficial health decision that I have EVER made for myself?

Those are my sentiments as well! As a society, we boast about EVERYTHING in life whether it's our child scoring a touch down in a football game, the new hot item we just purchased, or something as simple as the fabulous meal we cooked. Yet when it comes to all things weightloss or especially weightloss surgery we take to being more reserved about it. Just because person A may not agree with what I did or the method of weight loss I chose to do...get over it because in the end you do not define who I am and your opinion is just that an opinion.

Your reply was definitely inspiring...it is about being a healthier, better you and if I can just help 1 person achieve a longer life through surgery, than I am in it.

[Pelekania 156]

Maybe it was Water aerobics? Why assume wls? I've lost 50 pounds in 4 mos before without wls.

Because she lost well over 100 pds in 4/5 months and her body had not caught up to it yet.

[Pelekania 156]

I despise liars. I wouldn't stoop to her level and say something rude, but I would secretly wish the fat fairies left a huge deposit for her overnight.

Water Aerobics? Yes, Water aerobics, a couple of Beans, a hell of a climb up that beanstalk, and to a surgeon (or gym).

I respect privacy, but she needs to get her story together.

Loved it! You had me rolling!

[PJ_Sleeve 45]

I am open about the surgery. I try to stick with the belief that I can accomplish two things by being open:

1. I can educate the ignorant (the "easy way out" people)

2. I can help or inspire someone through my experience

The fact is...people notice the rapid weight loss. WLS is so common today that people will suspect that I have had WLS and either talk behind my back for not being forthcoming (and they will not know what they are talking about) or I can just be upfront and if they have anything negative to say about it, I can have the opportunity to tell them how it really is.

However, I don't meet new people and say, "Hi my name is Pam and I had the Sleeve." That is just weird. But if someone asks...I just tell them the truth. Most of the time the response is very positive.

[Jen35 283]

I'm on the fence on this one. I'm pre-op and maybe I'll feel differently later, but at this point I've only told a few close people that I will be having WLS. And not all overweight people really want to know - they can be judgemental too. One of the friends I told has a higher BMI than I do and she is very judgemental about the surgery.

I agree that this should be something that we are proud of and should be able to shout on the rooftops. But, let's face it, people judge us for being overweight and I don't want that judgement AGAIN after I've undergone surgery to NOT be overweight.

Yes, people will notice the weight loss and ask. This doesn't make it their business. If I got a boob job, and people noticed that my boobs were noticably larger, is it okay for them to come up and ask me about it? Then am I obligated to tell them the whole story as to why I made the decision, change the stereotypes they may have about it, etc.? NO - it is not any of their business because it's my body.

I'm not a liar. I just choose not to tell strangers all of my business as with the rest of my personal life. I will tell them what they need to know and I will tell others of my choosing that I had surgery. Okay, maybe I'm not on the fence about this! lol

[iggychic 1,405]

BTB wrote what I would have, but I would add that I had mixed feelings about telling initially.

When I first decided to have surgery I wasn't going to tell anyone but my husband, mother and our nanny because they all would have to know as they're part of our network of support. But then as time went on, and friends were inviting us to dinner, making plans with us etc, it occurred to me that I had to tell my closest friends. To not do so would be in essence lying to them IMO. How do you decline dinner plans made a month prior to the puree stage without lying LOL

So I took my dear friends to the beach we like to walk on and told them. They were all shocked, because they've always known me overweight and don't know that ten years ago I was slim and healthy and some of them were worried to tears. I assured them that it was safe, risk free basically and that I'd be back on the beach the next week.

Then I nearly died....

So their fears for me were quite valid, and their assistance to me and my family, from delivering home made broth, taking my son out with their kids while I was in hospital, and even painting me a picture of the spot where we normally had wine and cheese on the beach and delivering that to the hospital so I had a happy memory to look at, was invaluable in all of my family making it through. How would they have reacted if I'd lied? They would have been hurt, shocked, and heck probably angry that I kept such a big thing from them. One of them is my son's future mother if my husband and I were to die....that I wouldn't tell her when I was risking my life??? Bad me!

My perspective on telling is so different than most other people's because of the experience I had. I thank god that I had the courage to tell my friends and family, and enough love in my heart to share my journey with them.

I also tell people who are not so close. I didn't have much choice as I disappeared from society for 60 days while suffering from the complications. We live in a small town...I was lucky it wasn't front page news LOL And while traveling this week I also mentioned it to my husband's family when it made sense. I feel much more comfortable being honest....100% honest

Do I knock people down in the street and sing WLS praises? No, I actually regret the surgery, so I guess that wouldn't make sense LOL But if I'm asked I would be happy to answer the questions people have. This has happened to me twice at my son's school and I have no problem with it. Rumors die if you put them to bed What's there to gossip about if you yourself start the gossip

I'm not ashamed, though I do regret that I took this road. And that's what I share with others who ask. Much like I do here.

Funny story though...I was pregnant with triplets several years ago. Anyone who has experienced this would understand that early on in that kind of pregnancy most people just look fat LOL and I tend to carry a pregnancy all over anyhoo....no basketball tummy for me! Anyhoo, I started the pregnancy about 15lbs over weight and gained rapidly from the beginning until I lost them. One day while at the store a gal approached me and said (while in line checking out) that she had struggled with her weight all of her life and wanted to suggest I see her doctor (who had given her phen phen). She did probably feel like a butthead when I told her I was five months pregnant...at least I hope so! So I also don't approach strangers to sing a WLS song! Some of us are happy as we are. Some are pregnant. Some are sick and some...well they might want to hear the WLS story, but I'd let them ask first LOL

[mrsflyboybs 62]

I tell EVERYONE! I plastered my journey all over my Facebook page and if I knew how or had time to blog I'd do that too. I've met some people that were negative about my surgery (oddly enough, they were super overweight , so figure) but most people were supportive. And by showing my struggles to get through the program and how I can't have the stuff I used to love (diet soda and champagne, to name a few) I don't think anybody thinks its the cheater way out. And if they do, they can suck my balls. With me being so open about my surgery, I've had a few coworkers approach me about having the surgery (and these are people who can truly benefit from it).