Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Anyone Not Tell Family Or Friends?



Recommended Posts

I'm telling pretty much everyone with the exception of a few family members. May tell them eventually but maybe not.

It's not that I'm not hiding it, I just don't think it's an issue. I was recently diagnose with psoriatic arthritis and have gained weight from the meds & lack of mobility. Most people have been very supportive & understand I'm doing it for my health. The rest, well, they can kiss my fat (soon to be thinner) ass.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Telling people and not telling is kinda a double edge sword! You wanted to share in your excitement that your finally getting that extra help that you meed to reach your goal. Then there the other side where you don't want to share because you don't want to hear other peoples feedback. I almost backed out of the surgery because I got scared. My friends were telling to work harder. I barley eat to begin with. I work out 6 days a week doing various activities. I have lost 7 lbs in the last two weeks.

My parents are not supportive whatsoever. They think I am being dramatic. I always have to take it to the next level. I think to myself you don't know what its like to live in my body.

Then I have the coworkers that say stuff "omg its going to be weird to see you skinny" you really find out who your friends are when you go through life changing events like this.

5 years ago I had a breast reduction and I had one friend tell me " I don't know why your doing this your just going to be another fat girl with small boobs" needless to say she has been erased from my life. Last I heard she is bitter and over weight with small boobs! ????Karma will get ya.

I told my x husband and he is very worried. He thinks its his fault that I want this surgery. -wake up honey this is not about you! This is about bringing the new healthier me! Sorry your missing out.

My true friends are very supportive they have wished me nothing but a speedy recovery and just want to know if they can have my clothes after. ????????

This is our time to shine! Let your haters be your motivators!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I chose to tell only those that I knew would be supportive. I was surprised when MIL and extended family were so excited they started going to the pre op support groups with me and they too have decided to have the surgery. Surprised that my husband is not as supportive as I thought. He still thinks diet and exercise would have the same success. I asked, "if that was the case do you really think I would do something so drastic?". Now he goes back and forth saying if I'm successful he'll look into for himself. My brother is the one I will not be telling. He works very hard to stay fit and healthy and I've heard him say that WLS is the "easy way out". To the contrary, this will be the hardest and most difficult thing I have ever done to control my weight/health.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My brother is the one I will not be telling. He works very hard to stay fit and healthy and I've heard him say that WLS is the "easy way out". To the contrary' date=' this will be the hardest and most difficult thing I have ever done to control my weight/health.[/quote']

I've made a solemn vow...if I EVER hear someone say this surgery is fat people's easy way out, I'm going to punch them in the throat. I suggest you do the same!! :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've made a solemn vow...if I EVER hear someone say this surgery is fat people's easy way out' date=' I'm going to punch them in the throat. I suggest you do the same!! :D

[/quote']

I love this, I usually punch people in the face, but I think I might change it up;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love this' date=' I usually punch people in the face, but I think I might change it up;)[/quote']

It's unexpected. And that's 1/2 the fun. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've made a solemn vow...if I EVER hear someone say this surgery is fat people's easy way out, I'm going to punch them in the throat. I suggest you do the same!! :D

ROFL HAA!! :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told my husband of course and my kids. ages 10 and 6. told my mom and mother in law. and just a few other people. I didn't wanna get the well you weren't that big to begin with. or just diet and exercise.. so I only told a few to begin with. I'm almost 6 months out and ive told a few more..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Only my husband knows. I too did not want the negativity and my family trying to talk me out of surgery. I have been overweight since I was a child, I just can't take it anymore. It's hard staying on a diet, and the weight comes back on so fast! I am a slow loser and probably won't have to explain for a while. I am 53 years old and did not make this decision lightly, it took years to convince my husband that this was necessary. I am still trying to believe that I actually had surgery on Aug 31st. I am still trying to believe that this will actually work. So for me, I need this time all to myself, to make the physical and mental adjustments, without being under scrutiny by everyone I know. I hate being questioned about what I should or should not eat, what I should or should not do. It's my life and my health, it's my decision! When I do finally have to explain, it will be when it's obvious that it has been successful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am not telling a soul for now, but will tell my sons and one friend as I'm headed to the hospital.

Like GAmom and others, I would get a lot of negativity and I just don't have time for that!!

And, like mwrarr - my privacy is at a premium.

I'm still trying to figure out the semantics with work schedule. I'm taking personal time - but need to be accessible via email. . .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Plus, I'm a little bitchy, so I don't think too many people will say idiotic things to me! ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have not been sleeved yet. But very excited for my surgery date, which is 1-2-13. I have been curious how many sleevers, or wls patients have told everyone, or no one in their circles, or just a select few.

I told my husband first, earlier in this year, and my boys who are 16 AND 17, soon to be 18 on the 18th of this month. My co-worker/friend knows, who wants to be thiner, and loose her co-morbidities too, so I was hoping to be an inspiration to her, and let her see how much better I will feel with this choice I have made in my life.

I have been hesitant to tell anyone else, because like most that I have read here, want to keep the negative away.

I have been best friends with someone since the 7th grade, and I told her a couple weeks ago. Her first response was "great! I am glad you were approved, I know how much this meant to you" And then 2 days later, I receive an e-mail from her ( our main sourse of communication due to our busy family/work lives) and she had a million and one questions, and is so against it, and said she was really sorry if she was hurting my feelings, but she was just concerned) I told her this has been a life long struggle for me since I was about 10 years old, I am a year from 40, and 30 years is just long enough. I have a lot of life to live still, and I want to feel good living it. I have proved over and over again that I can loose the weight, but I also have failed , ever time, to keep it off, and end up heavier than when I started to diet to begin with. She has never been more than 130 pounds, and that is at 9 months pregnant with her 1st of 3 babies. She hangs around 100 - 110 pounds ever since I have known her. So I did the best I could to have her see it from my shoes, and gave her links to very informative youtube videos and websites about the sleeve, and how it has changed so many peoples lives for the better. I told her thank you for loving me so much to be so concerned. This is a decision I have pondered for a few years now, and made my decision last Christmas, and have planned all year for this big step in my life, and to start my new journey.

I am very confident I am making the right decision for myself and my family. I think I will treat my response on an individual basis.. and share as needed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told a few friends when I had my lapband surgery in 2009. One of my friends told her friends and when I heard it, I didn't like that. When I had my revision surgery in June, only my husband knew and that's the way I plan to keep it. It's actually nobody's business how I lost the weight.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Only household members know and one coworker. I'm trying to be an inspiration to her to get WLS because she's unhappy with her weight as I am.

2013 is my year....SD 11/19 Methodist Hosp in NY

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was banded I only told very close family and friends. As I lost the weight, no one new I met thought anything about it. Now that my band has failed and I am contemplating the sleeve, I'm in a different work situation. I work in the health industry and everyone around me is naturally thin, as far as I know. I love my employees and coworkers, but I know they wouldn't keep it to themselves and I really don't want everyone and their dog knowing. I hate to not tell my boss because she and I are pretty close, but she's an athlete and I know she wouldn't understand. It's not about hiding or being ashamed, I'm just a very private person and don't want to be known as the girl who had WLS. I've seen it happen before, it ends up defining you in some ways and to some people. There will always be discrimination. I don't want to tell anyone, but worry what I'll do if I have complications or anything. Guess I'll have to cross that bridge when I get to it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×