Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Anyone Not Tell Family Or Friends?



Recommended Posts

*Hope this post does not offend anyone*... I am on the fence about this topic. I have only told select family members (brother, mother, husband, grandmother) and a very very select few friends. The ones who I know will give me positive support and so far except for one person the few have been positive. I will tell all my coworkers right before surgery, because I work night shift and we all eat together. They are starting to notice my change in food choices and portion sizes. I almost slipped in front of my whole shift one night at lunch and I just giggled... A few asked me was I having surgery was I ok.. And I just said with a strait face "ok... Here it is... I'm having a sex change operation. I want to have a penis just for a few days, then I'm having it reversed) everyone who knows me what a joker I am and just laughed.... I'm not ready to tell yet. It took me about 2 years to decide to have this done and my whole process from initial consult to surgery 3 months. I am 9 weeks from surgery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've made a solemn vow...if I EVER hear someone say this surgery is fat people's easy way out' date=' I'm going to punch them in the throat. I suggest you do the same!! :D

[/quote']

This is the hard way out... I agree!! This is life or death for some people, and just choosing to live a better life for others!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have told family but only a few close friends.I feel it really isn't every one else's business. I know my MIL has probably told everyone she knows and that is enough people gossiping about me and naysaying . It is all about your comfort level as far as who and what to tell:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My sister and I are getting sleeved together. We decided not to tell our family (other than our husbands) until after the surgery. Sometimes their concern comes across as negative, we've brought the subject up before and it wasn't wholly approved of. However, we are both very excited.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was banded in June of 2010 and I only told my immediate circle which included my husband, parents, siblings and 2 best friends. I felt like a liar when people were asking me what I was doing. I was partially telling the truth because I was eating less and working out but I omitted the part about the band being the main reason for the eating less. I was sleeved in December 2012 and I am shouting it from the roof tops lol. People are starting to notice the weight loss and I am being honest and I actually feel better this time around. Honestly to each their own if you feel like telling people go ahead if not keep it to yourself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tell everybody and give updates on FB. I couldn't care less what people think. This is my life and I love it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am only beginning the process and have told my sisters, my parents and my husband. Will not tell anyone else unless they ask and not until after the surgery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally understand. I am in the same boat. For now only my ex-husband (yes we are friends lol) and my daughter know and a friend. Right now it's not something I want to discuss. I hate hearing "where is your will power", "that's being lazy" etc etc!! It's actually no ones business and its your decision whether you want to or not. GOOD LUCK IN WHATEVER DECISION YOU CHOOSE!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I only told some family and 2 friends and one of them told me not to do it. So now I'm not going to tell anyone I want to take my life back. I just wish I had more sport.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I only told some family and 2 friends and one of them told me not to do it. So now I'm not going to tell anyone I want to take my life back. I just wish I had more sport.

WE TRULY UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL!! I GUESS THATS WHY WE'VE ALL JOINED THIS FORUM FOR BIASED SUPPORT!! GOOD LUCK AND ALL WILL BE FINE!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank u. It will work out we just need to keep our head up. And our eye on what we need to take our life back from the fat

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not really telling a lot of people. I have a three friends who are all big as well, and they know because they are my support system. I'll tell my parents and brothers when I am done jumping through insurance hoops and have a surgery date. That's it, right now my plan is to say nutritionist, diet and exercise. But I have a big mouth so I am not sure how long that will work. Not even sure I am going to mention having surgery. Will be taking two weeks off. I have a very physical job so I might have to get a doc note to put me on lite duty for a little while. So he might find out there was a stomach surgery. Now there may be a case by case basis after my weight is lost. For people I see struggling as well, I will tell my big secret too. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My question is how do you handle answering someone who asks what your doing when they ask in front if the few ppl who know. Like if people ask when I'm with my mom and I answer dr supervised diet low carb high Protein ect. Is my mom or friend that knows going to be thinking "she had surgery!! She's a liar?"

My thought is, although having surgery, the only way you will be successful IS modifying your diet and exercising, so even if you didn't mention you had surgery, telling someone you're seeing a nutritionist and doing a doctor supervised low carb, high exercise diet isn't lying!!! Not to mention, anyone I do tell (very few people) will KNOW that they're one of the 'chosen' few and wouldn't think I was being a liar, just not telling ALL of the information...since they will know my decision is on a need to know basis I'd have to think they would expect such an answer :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree! Make sure the people you tell KNOW that you're not telling everyone. And a doc supervised, low carb, high Protein diet is NOT a lie. Your just leaving out the most important tool! LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I also am keeping this under my hat my mom of course my husband and some sibling other than that mums the word here

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×