Disgusted By Others Eating

[mylifeinpink 349]

I am now 6.5 weeks out and find I am SO judgemental of what everyone else eats now. I get sick if I see glutinous people and feel ashamed for having looked like that. Funny thin is' date=' I ate alone most of the time so no one would judge me that way and here I am.[/quote']

I agree 110%. And openly admit it.

No shame or guilt here. I own my feelings also.

[LouiseC 1,029]

Well sweetie it was meant to be ....this is called sarcasm....because as I read about others and the "disgust they feel"... (mind you astonised was not the chosen word used) in my own mind I wonder why are you wasting lifes valuble time watching someone else eat....the food on the plate....that they have paid for .....with their own money....

how much time does it take to look away and enjoy your meal and or conversation if you are with someone else....

I am glad that you found what I said rude...because it replicates (in an opposite manner) the lack of integrity that has been found in these post....

I just found it funny that anyone who has not even come to a half way point in their own personal journey.....can make such glorified statements of "disgust" ...the word itself is indicative of the most negative feeling a person can have....

all im saying is everyone on this post...did what they did....when THEY felt it necessary to do it....you discovered your own personal strength or need to make a very huge decision to change your life.....and you should Celebrate that!!!! not spend time in judgement of others.....what they eat...how much they eat....because I know for a fact not one of use got fat eating small amount of celery and carrots.....

OH... by the way you can control the direction your head turns' date=' the placement of your vision, and there is absolutely no need to peer into someone mouth and destroy their pleasure or experience....and the way the words felt so venomous on this page.....i am only assuming your facial exp<b></b>ression displays the same distain.....

so to make a long conversation short...try minding your own business...and allow others live their lives the way they please....[/quote']

Disgust is a feeling. I own it when it occurs. Fortunately I have self control and do not need to act on every feeling I have. Perhaps it is different for you but for me I can keep my feelings to myself. I never said I relished in the disgust nor that I felt self righteous. Just that I had a physical reaction now. Sure, pre op I never would have dreamed that sort of reaction. But none of us know how our physiology will change with this surgery. Removing the fundus and drastically reducing the ghrelin does have consequences I was not prepared for. One of which is feeling physically ill when I watch others eat.

You can get as judgemental and sanctimonious as you like, my disgust does not translate into my interference into others enjoyment of their food. I keep it to myself with everyone except my husband. I sure don't let my disgust show. I am, in fact, incredibly polite. I don't feel the need to pounce on others with my own views of right and wrong. I had thought this forum was a safe place to express unexpected aspects of this journey but clearly I was wrong. Too many people are waiting in the wings to pounce on others and call their experiences wrong.

[tovanta 49]

Disgust is a feeling. I own it when it occurs. Fortunately I have self control and do not need to act on every feeling I have. Perhaps it is different for you but for me I can keep my feelings to myself. I never said I relished in the disgust nor that I felt self righteous. Just that I had a physical reaction now. Sure, pre op I never would have dreamed that sort of reaction. But none of us know how our physiology will change with this surgery. Removing the fundus and drastically reducing the ghrelin does have consequences I was not prepared for. One of which is feeling physically ill when I watch others eat.

You can get as judgemental and sanctimonious as you like, my disgust does not translate into my interference into others enjoyment of their food. I keep it to myself with everyone except my husband. I sure don't let my disgust show. I am, in fact, incredibly polite. I don't feel the need to pounce on others with my own views of right and wrong. I had thought this forum was a safe place to express unexpected aspects of this journey but clearly I was wrong. Too many people are waiting in the wings to pounce on others and call their experiences wrong.

the last portion of you commentary.. has more power than even you know......This forum is a safe haven, however as you stated it is to" express unexpected aspects"....the fact that you feel you can make any statement and no one refute your thought process is still with in the reigns of some sort of superiority complex...

im not upset nor feeling self rightious....what I have stated and still stand by is simply this....how do you judge anyone who is on the very same path you have left.....I have been very small for the majority of my life and it wasnt until I dealt with breast cancer that my weight exploded....I dealt with the facing of death in my own way....so how can I judge or feel repulsed by anyone who is travelling the same path that i have (and not completely as of yet) veered off....some would say that I chose the easy way out by having the surgery ...so who I am to talk.....

This forum is a space for ALL to express their thoughts and respond to others thoughts...when ever the time is taken to share an emotion...I can only hope that all varying views and thought processes will come....I for one thrive in the diversity....good...bad...high ....low...if you are willing to say it.....shouldnt we be willing to express upon it.....this is not meant to be a back and forth dialogue between just you and I and if you have been offended....I wish I could apologize...but why should either one of us apologize for thoughts that are genuwine and honest.....whether or not we agree or disagree....lets be open to our differences....

You feel disguist.....and sometimes I feel as if I miss the ability to eat......neither one of these emotions are good...no matter how we look at it...

[LouiseC 1,029]

And again I say, though this time for the last time as otherwise I will think I am talking to a wall, disgust is a feeling. It isn't a judgement. A judgement is an opinion. Feelings and opinions are different things. My feelings are not wrong they just are what they are.

[NDN_RN 527]

I am pre op working on losing 25 pounds before my surgery on oct 3. Not easy. All i have to say, is I am blessed for the opportunity, and when I do lose weight and see someone over eating, I will think, there but for the Grace of God, go I.

[tovanta 49]

And again I say, though this time for the last time as otherwise I will think I am talking to a wall, disgust is a feeling. It isn't a judgement. A judgement is an opinion. Feelings and opinions are different things. My feelings are not wrong they just are what they are.

Wow now the inspiring evangelist is being completely insulting.....well I take the crown or wall and wear it proudly....

[mylifeinpink 349]

Wow now the inspiring evangelist is being completely insulting.....well I take the crown or wall and wear it proudly....

Good Lord leave people ALONE would you.

How can YOU harass someone over THEIR feelings? Get off it!

[Cookeeeeez 269]

Bah! You're all nuts... lucky im a squirrel so I LOVE nuts!!!

Hows about we all agree to disagree over whether a dozen = 12 or 13... It's both depending on who you are

[Ryokokitty 26]

Disgust is a feeling. I own it when it occurs. Fortunately I have self control and do not need to act on every feeling I have. Perhaps it is different for you but for me I can keep my feelings to myself. I never said I relished in the disgust nor that I felt self righteous. Just that I had a physical reaction now. Sure, pre op I never would have dreamed that sort of reaction. But none of us know how our physiology will change with this surgery. Removing the fundus and drastically reducing the ghrelin does have consequences I was not prepared for. One of which is feeling physically ill when I watch others eat.

You can get as judgemental and sanctimonious as you like, my disgust does not translate into my interference into others enjoyment of their food. I keep it to myself with everyone except my husband. I sure don't let my disgust show. I am, in fact, incredibly polite. I don't feel the need to pounce on others with my own views of right and wrong. I had thought this forum was a safe place to express unexpected aspects of this journey but clearly I was wrong. Too many people are waiting in the wings to pounce on others and call their experiences wrong.

Your first paragraph was on track, its your feeling and you own it. When I look at pictures when I was at my heaviest, the word disgust enters my mind. All the bad choices and using food to comfort my pain instead of confronting it. Disgust is the word I feel. When I look at others eat, I don't feel disgust towards others, but more at amazement. I always comment to my husband how amazed I used to eat that much and sometimes more (don't forget dessert!). I don't judge the people eating. They're paying for it, and not just the menu price. If you get physically ill watching others eat, don't watch. I used to get ill watching my husband eat because he ate so fast. I simply told him I'll have to look away when he eats, since its my problem and not his.

Your second paragraph seems to contradict the first. You don't keep it to yourself. This is a forum you chose to express your disgust, a very public place where people are very sensitive to the scrutiny of others. There is no "safe haven" on the internet. This forum is a very informative place and many people here have good and insightful advice to share. However, to justify your feelings of disgust in a forum (their safe haven as you call it) where people who feel they've been judged by the skinny ones all their lives is hypocritical. The looks you give to the people you're frowning on are probably more clear than anything you could have said to them.

[TamaraS 235]

Beautifully said Tovanta!!! I couldn't have have said it better!

[LouiseC 1,029]

. The looks you give to the people you're frowning on are probably more clear than anything you could have said to them.

What looks? Who said anything about giving anyone any looks? Massive assumptions being made here.

Seriously, people way over react in this place. You somehow interpreted my post as though I sit and stare at people eating. Of course I don't. I look away, just like you do. it doesn't mean I don't see and doesn't mean I don't have a physical reaction to what I see. I eat out a lot and travel every week for work so I am frequently in restaurants and other places where people are eating. It is impossible not to see others eat. But for goodness sake, it doesn't mean I sit and stare at them. How ridiculous..

[doxieville 799]

I'm with Cookeeeeez......possibly nuts :-).

But let's drop this. Enough. I don't come here to be lectured, or judged. I come here to help me cope and help others with my limited experience. There's enough tension in our 'real' life, we don't need it here. I, for one, just won't be reading certain people's posts anymore.

[LizInTexas 125]

I'm with Cookeeeeez......possibly nuts :-).

But let's drop this. Enough. I don't come here to be lectured, or judged. I come here to help me cope and help others with my limited experience. There's enough tension in our 'real' life, we don't need it here. I, for one, just won't be reading certain people's posts anymore.

I'm with ya Doxie, very well said... If nothing else, this thread has given me great insight as to who I will and will not choose to pay attention to and even more so to the fact that there will always be judgmental hypocrites in this world. I don't associate myself with those types in my real life, so I certainly won't associate myself with them here. It's just a crying shame that my "disregard list" has gotten quite a bit longer after following this thread...

[ppatterson 24]

Jennrus, I'm sorry you felt judged. You are right that this should be an environment where you can discuss feelings and get encouragement. I personally think the feelings and thoughts you have are normal

I think it has more to do with how our view of food has been altered. We now struggle to eat or get enough food in. It is common for food to turn my stomach. So to see people eat after I've eaten my little portion can make me nauseous. Maybe it has less to do with what or how much someone else is eating but more to do with our new reaction to food. I just remind myself in those moments of "disgust " that I am truly blessed with a new life.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

I don't have anyone on my "ignore" list because everyone can occasionally have something to contribute. But I will say, they have closed better threads than this.