I am sure that most of us sit here with our fingers poised over the keys, wondering what to write. Do I start of with my name, my age, what brought me here? Do I talk about my goals and dreams?

Well, here goes nothing!

My name is Kristine, I am 27 years old, and at my highest weight (that I know of) I was 415 pounds. I live in Montana and it has taken me a long, LONG time to get to the point of admitting I needed the help I am getting now. My whole life I have been the fat kid. I was "gopher cheeks" in the first grade per the bully on the school bus. I was "Porky Pig" per my own mom in a ruse to help me quit snacking after school. I was "thing" per my older sister in her rash of older sister contempt in my teenage years. But mostly, I was and am just me. It has taken me a lot of time, a lot of crying, and a lot of help from special people to know that who I am is not just a number on a scale. That number, however, comes with its own set of problems.

When I was 18, my mom died of a heart attack that left me knowing that I was going to be next if my life didn't change. I was even a realatively healthy weight at that age. I got sick right around the time that my mom passed and life has just spiraled out of control since. I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder that included treatment with prednisone and chemo that just made me sick and, well, fat. Then, once I was medically cleared of that issue, I started getting infections in my lungs that landed me in the hospital twice for a severe pneumonia. The first time it happened, my oxygen saturation levels were only in the 70s. I was lucky that I went in when I did or I wouldn't even be here to realize how lucky I am now. To figure out where the lung infections were coming from, not only was I put back on prednisone, but I started seeing a specialist that recommended I get a lung biopsy. That was done last July and the result was a diagnosis of cancer. Man, I can't even tell you how that blow felt. It was like I was punched in the gut and couldn't breathe (no pun intended). So, they tell me I have marginal zone, B-cell non-hodgkins lymphoma. Quite a mouthful, eh? When my oncologist came into an appointment, asked me how I was breathing, and then proceeded to tell me that the nodules in my lungs were dissapating and that I should be breathing better I realized that my weight was holding me back in more ways than just socially. I finally had something that was concrete to say, "Hey, dummy! Your weight is killing you!"

So, in May 2012 I started seeing the newest addition to my clinic: a bariatric surgeon. I was mortified to admit it to any of my family, so I went just to get things in line and see if it was something I was even eligible for. Four months later, I have a surgery date set for October 1. I started my pre-op liquid diet yesterday (and hating life because of it... Yuck!), and I am finally looking forward to the future. I am ready to start traveling with my best friend and get out of Dodge for the weekend. I want to be able to hop a plane every weekend and not worry about some skinny person telling me that they feel their space is being encroached upon. I want to meet my special someone and feel what it is to be loved without worrying about how I look. I want to buy clothes off the rack. I want to live for a long, long time.

That's the most important thing. I want to live for a long, long time. Sounds good to me, for sure.

Hello!

I'm soooo happy for you I'm 20 years old and still dealing with insurance but I'm glad to hear you are going be turning over a new leaf very soon! I'm so excited for what the future holds for all of us pre-op'ers Good Luck!

You have been through so much but your still here and your kicking butt! Thanks for sharing

I am sure that most of us sit here with our fingers poised over the keys' date=' wondering what to write. Do I start of with my name, my age, what brought me here? Do I talk about my goals and dreams?

Well, here goes nothing!

My name is Kristine, I am 27 years old, and at my highest weight (that I know of) I was 415 pounds. I live in Montana and it has taken me a long, LONG time to get to the point of admitting I needed the help I am getting now. My whole life I have been the fat kid. I was "gopher cheeks" in the first grade per the bully on the school bus. I was "Porky Pig" per my own mom in a ruse to help me quit snacking after school. I was "thing" per my older sister in her rash of older sister contempt in my teenage years. But mostly, I was and am just me. It has taken me a lot of time, a lot of crying, and a lot of help from special people to know that who I am is not just a number on a scale. That number, however, comes with its own set of problems.

When I was 18, my mom died of a heart attack that left me knowing that I was going to be next if my life didn't change. I was even a realatively healthy weight at that age. I got sick right around the time that my mom passed and life has just spiraled out of control since. I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder that included treatment with prednisone and chemo that just made me sick and, well, fat. Then, once I was medically cleared of that issue, I started getting infections in my lungs that landed me in the hospital twice for a severe pneumonia. The first time it happened, my oxygen saturation levels were only in the 70s. I was lucky that I went in when I did or I wouldn't even be here to realize how lucky I am now. To figure out where the lung infections were coming from, not only was I put back on prednisone, but I started seeing a specialist that recommended I get a lung biopsy. That was done last July and the result was a diagnosis of cancer. Man, I can't even tell you how that blow felt. It was like I was punched in the gut and couldn't breathe (no pun intended). So, they tell me I have marginal zone, B-cell non-hodgkins lymphoma. Quite a mouthful, eh? When my oncologist came into an appointment, asked me how I was breathing, and then proceeded to tell me that the nodules in my lungs were dissapating and that I should be breathing better I realized that my weight was holding me back in more ways than just socially. I finally had something that was concrete to say, "Hey, dummy! Your weight is killing you!"

So, in May 2012 I started seeing the newest addition to my clinic: a bariatric surgeon. I was mortified to admit it to any of my family, so I went just to get things in line and see if it was something I was even eligible for. Four months later, I have a surgery date set for October 1. I started my pre-op liquid diet yesterday (and hating life because of it... Yuck!), and I am finally looking forward to the future. I am ready to start traveling with my best friend and get out of Dodge for the weekend. I want to be able to hop a plane every weekend and not worry about some skinny person telling me that they feel their space is being encroached upon. I want to meet my special someone and feel what it is to be loved without worrying about how I look. I want to buy clothes off the rack. I want to live for a long, long time.

That's the most important thing. I want to live for a long, long time. Sounds good to me, for sure.

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Welcome to VST hsirk! Why a great day, October 1! A new month and a new you! I am scheduled one day behind you wish u all the best, ur gonna rock this!!!!

Hiya!!!! I'm so excited to follow your journey!!! Good luck!

Kristine,

Good for you, for taking the bull by the horns! You've made a huge decision, and should feel so empowered!! Do as much mental work as possible, before your surgery, to make life post-op as easy as possible. Understand your relationship with food....the reasons you eat, when you eat, what you eat....and develop strategies to change it for the better? I highly recommend the book "The End of Overeating"....it truly helped me get a grip on my food issues....mostly because it pissed me off! LOL

I wish you strength and great success, as you embark on your new journey!

Laura