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Truthful Regrets, Anyone?



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I'm just over 2 weeks out and I've gotta say, I'm miserable. I don't know if I've hit the depression stage or what but I keep asking why I did this to myself. I was working out every day and had lost 25lbs on my own before surgery and kept telling myself the sleeve was a preventative measure to keep myself from getting that fluffy again. Now I can't stop thinking that I ruined my life (as I knew it). Of course, prior to May I wasn't working out and wasn't watching my intake, which is why I got up to 240lbs. But in the last 3 months I took control and really thought the sleeve would be my new best friend like everyone on here seems to say. So did you ever have any regrets? I've heard the "my only regret is not getting it sooner" but please save that response. I want to know about real regrets. If you had/have them, how and when did you get past it? When will I start to be okay with my sleeve and not feel like I'll never be "normal" again?

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I know a lot of people think "what the h3ll have I done". I was one of them. Your body I, furious at you for the lack of food, you're swollen from surgery still, and all those hormones are pouring out of the fat that is melting off of you. But I promise it is fleeting. It happens around a month to 6 weeks. When your diet is released to more normal foods. When your body adjusts to the hormones and diet. And when YOU start noticing the difference in your own appearance. Hang on. It's not easy, and mentally draining at first. But soon you'll forget you have been sleeved. Thinks become normal again.

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I know a lot of people think "what the h3ll have I done". I was one of them. Your body I, furious at you for the lack of food, you're swollen from surgery still, and all those hormones are pouring out of the fat that is melting off of you. But I promise it is fleeting. It happens around a month to 6 weeks. When your diet is released to more normal foods. When your body adjusts to the hormones and diet. And when YOU start noticing the difference in your own appearance. Hang on. It's not easy, and mentally draining at first. But soon you'll forget you have been sleeved. Thinks become normal again.

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I think the regrets fade over time. I think when you start seeing results and you remember to look at before pictures and start to feel healthy and lighter, it is then that its easier to say goodbye to how we use to be..the unfortunate truth is we abused our bodies with bad food/too much food and now we are at the other extreme..very little food and its got to be healthy to make it count.

Just hang on, your really early out...give yourself time to accept the changes and embrace them.

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I had the same feeling two weeks out. But then I got to soft foods and saw that I can eat pretty much the same just smaller amounts. I kept tellings myself before surgery maybe I Dnt need this if I try harder. But the harder I tried the more I failed before surgery. After surgery I felt what did I just do. I'm three weeks out and feel more positive now. I've lost 20 lbs so far and can tell the difference in how I feel and how my aches and pain have gone. Once u start eating again I'm sure u will feel different I did after that. Hope it makes you feel better trying to help :-)

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I was excited and happy thinking cool, no buyer's remorse, and then a week ago (5 weeks after surgery) I had an evening of crying and regret. I worried about not being able to eat to excess and choose lots of food at one meal.

But the next day after shopping I made myself a platter of a tiny bit of so many delicious things I had bought from Trader Joe's--a mini meatball, some fancy dip, an amazing slice of Italian cheese and a couple other things I forget. I savored each taste slowly and enjoyed the food and then was full.

Since then I've been okay knowing I can have anything.

I was especially okay after my MIL gave me tons of clothes since she lost weight and they will carry me through the winter I'm sure.

I also tried on all these clothes I had that I had forgotten about and was amazed they fit.

The thing is, I could lose the weight but without this ability to control my portions and hunger I don't think I could keep it off. Just that I was able to run up and down the steps yesterday like I haven't done in years was amazing. My feet and ankles were fine and I wasn't out of breath.

Now when I think of things I wish I could eat- it's not like the stuff I used to shovel in without thought. I will eat "fattening" foods again- but a taste and be satisfied.

I've repeated this so many times because it helped me...

Someone here said that having this surgery is like being at Thanksgiving after you're done and looking at table and feeling like this food was incredible but I can't eat another bite.

I hope you eventually get to this...it's really freeing.

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I'm just over 2 weeks out and I've gotta say, I'm miserable. I don't know if I've hit the depression stage or what but I keep asking why I did this to myself. I was working out every day and had lost 25lbs on my own before surgery and kept telling myself the sleeve was a preventative measure to keep myself from getting that fluffy again. Now I can't stop thinking that I ruined my life (as I knew it). Of course, prior to May I wasn't working out and wasn't watching my intake, which is why I got up to 240lbs. But in the last 3 months I took control and really thought the sleeve would be my new best friend like everyone on here seems to say. So did you ever have any regrets? I've heard the "my only regret is not getting it sooner" but please save that response. I want to know about real regrets. If you had/have them, how and when did you get past it? When will I start to be okay with my sleeve and not feel like I'll never be "normal" again?

Never, not one. Things will look up, I'm sure of it. It's like Christmas morning when you slip into a pair of jeans a size of two smaller. I went from wearing 18's and 20's to 4's and 6's. When I got to single digit sizes....my first pair of 8's.....I was practically orgasmic!!!!! There is nothing like it! You'll be thrilled, I wanted to go shout it to everybody else in The Gap!!! LoL

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I have no regrets now and never had any. I was so miserable being fat. I knew it was major surgery and I was going to hurt, have a recovery period, maybe not be able to choke down enough fluids or protein...but regret something that was going to change my life? Nope. I vowed to give it a chance. Life is great now!

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Those who know me at this site know what I've been through during the whole sleeve process. I've had my share of complications and difficulties and I've also had my share of regrets. But I can honestly say I have overcome all of it. The weight will start dropping and you'll feel better everyday. You'll be able to do things you either never have done or wanted to be able to do again. You will get surprising comments from people, wonderful compliments. Children will even take notice and you know how honest they can be. food will become something for survival and necessity instead of a habit and you will wake up one morning and realize it and things will just change..your eyes will open. You are so early out, it's very difficult to put things into perspective at this time so I would just focus on doing what your supposed to do..fluids, Protein, excercise,,etc..and let the warm fuzzy feelings come with time. I know it's so hard but you made a decision to take charge of your life. It doesn't seem like the perfect thing having the surgery right now but you will be so glad someday soon and all the bad experiences you are having will fade. Although it's so wonderful, it's not just about the cute clothes or the compliments for me. I'm going to be so much healthier and live my life instead of watching others around me live theirs.

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Okay - truth - I, like you, am just over two weeks out. I was very active pre-surgery and was in pretty good shape. I had also lost weight before surgery (about 40 pounds) and ended up weighing 223 the morning of surgery. I was pretty miserable the first few days after surgery and the two week liquid diet sucked and absolutely made me question whether I had made the right decision. Today, I went on one of my two daily walks and had to stop part way through because I suddenly wasn't feeling well. Again - I started to question this whole decision. So - I don't think your feelings are abnormal at all! All of this being said, I'm trying to just hang on and give my body time to finish healing. There are just too many ups and downs right now. I am supposed to start back to exercise at 6 weeks - so hopefully will be feeling better by then. For now - just try to push the negative thoughts away and hang on to the good ones! I will have to say the weight loss has been great so far, so that help! Good luck!!

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I felt regret on day 3, I cried to my husband that I was sorry I did this, cause I wanted to eat, he hugged me and gave me a kiss and ended up not eating lunch that day cause he felt sorry for me! But that feeling left as fast as it came and I'm almost 6 weeks post op and haven't looked back at all! I've lost 22 lbs and 23 1/2 inches, it's awesome to wake up every morning knowing your outfit you wore in the past is now almost too big! You will see, hang in there, you will get past this feeling of regret before you know it! ;)

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I'm not sure how I feel. I had surgery on 7/25/12 and have lost 27 lbs since my surgery date. Problem is eating, I have so much difficulty eating anything. On a typical day I have a Protein Shake for Breakfast, greek yogurt for a snack, string cheese for lunch, Unjury chicken broth for a snack and by dinner all I can force down is a piece of chicken breast (from a chicken shish kabob) and 2 pieces of sliced squash. Eating is uncomfortable and is a chore. Nothing tastes good and I have no desire to eat, I'm5 weeks post-op, when will this change? I don't want to gorge myself, but eating without feeling sick or experiencing gas pains in my shoulders would be great.

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Hey gettingsleevedintexas,

I'm 4 months out and your daily intake is just like mine. Anymore than that and I'm miserable. I've just come to accept that I will never eat like I used to and actually I'm so glad!!!

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I felt the same way at 2.5 weeks I cried for like two days I felt depressed and just wanted to feel normal and questioned if I had done the right thing and that's also including that my recovery didn't go so great I ended up in the hospital for two nights at my 2 week point. I am a month out today I can tell you it does get better a 100 times better I'm still on soft foods, I'm down 22#s and for the most part I feel normal most of my days. I say most because I'm a pharmacy school student and my schedule is hectic and crazy so some days im just super drained and tired but I blame school not my sleeve on those days lol :)!! Try and stay positive as much as you can you will get through this stage.

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Hang in there... Like others have said, you are still early in the process. I never had buyers remorse or the wtf have I done feeling but I definitely had my moments. Every time I doubted myself or my decision, I look at all the times I lost and regained ( usually plus some ) and all the time wasted. This time it is different. The first 6 weeks were tough but now I feel pretty normal, it's just that food is not constantly an issue. I'm more active and feel more in control. Just get thru the next month... And see where that leads you, I think you'll be pleased. It will never be the same but it can be better!

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      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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