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Well, now I don't know what to do. Talked to my patient advocate and she said a second study may be ordered. I said at this moment I say absolutely no. There has got to be an alternative to this.

Then my husband says I may have talked myself out of being a patient. No! This is my last hope! I will not spend any more time than necessary in this body! And I was crying so hard on the way home, I peed myself and didn't know until I got home a few minutes ago.

I'm terrified I'll be dropped because of a panic attack over a stupid sleep study. I told my husband I didnt have much support before from others now he can join them. I don't need his support either. Screw everybody. Done with this crap. If I were thin and wanted new boobs, I have them. But I'm fat and the places designed to help us make us jump through hoops to just see what the fat kids will do. What's next? Eating worms? Getting pudding cups thrown at us? Whispers down the hallway?

I've had it. As soon as I had hope, it for taken away by a stupid sleep thing!

If they order another sleep study, maybe you can go to another sleep clinic or ask for another technician. Panic attacks happen, and sometimes there are no clues that they are coming, especially in people who have not had panic attacks before. It was an unfamiliar place, in a stressful setting, with someone making you even more stressed, probably on a medication you haven't had before (Not all sleep meds work for everyone, sometimes it's trouble shooting to find one that does), and amped up anxiety about not getting to have your surgery. Who in their right mind can blame you for having a panic attack? It sounds like the opposite of what they're trying to get you to do - relax and sleep!

This is not over for you, you can get through it. Maybe they can give you anti-anxiety medications prior to the next study. Maybe some deep breathing. Will they let a family member stay in the room? A white noise machine? Bringing blankets/pillows from home? I don't know what they allow since I haven't had one, but I imagine I would have trouble sleeping in a strange place too. If you do go again, I think you need to go in with the attitude that this is something you can conquer too. It is one step in your journey to your surgery. You will give up your phone, etc to give it a real go, because you can do this.

Also, maybe it would help if you would learn a little bit about why it's so important to identify sleep apnea prior to surgery. It's a concern that post-surgery (and really any time you're asleep) that you are getting enough oxygen while you sleep. This page explains a little bit about the risks that you'd be going into if you did have unmanaged sleep apnea during surgery: http://www.sleepandy...-anesthesia.htm

It may be difficult/cause you to panic if they put a CPAP mask on you post-surgery if you've never worn one before. That would be horrible/frightening/stressful, and this will help avoid that too.

You will get through this! Take some deep breaths and move on from here.

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I had a really easy sleep study but it was nothing to do with insurance or if I could or couldn’t have surgery.

They put things around my torso and on my finger no mask no oxygen no sleeping pills just me and another chick on the whole ward.

I watched tv for a bit in the tv room right by out ward section then knew because I sleep crap in hospital and coz everyone knew i had it just not confirmed et I went to sleep got up a couple of times to pee in the night but did my 6 hours.

I found it a breeze.

The woman opposite me however cried for 3 hours was on the phone and missed her kids she did settle down and go to sleep not long after I turned my light off and stuff I think it was a kinda your there its nothing bad the only other person in the room is going to sleep so maybe I should too.

It sounds to me like you were fighting the whole thing sleeping pills should have had you going to sleep keeping yourself active to keep awake is just counter acting the pill.

Speaking to people working yourself up its all ways even if you didn’t mean to, to keep you from just getting on with it and sleeping.

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Update:

The psychiatrist believes the sleep meds were making my anxiety worse and helped bring on the panic attack.

I'm going in for ANOTHER sleep study but with the mask this time. I stopped breathing for 30 seconds twice during the last study and apparently that means I need a mask. I'll do what I need to do to get to surgery.

This time I'm armed and very dangerous. The psych and surgeon agreed and sent me home with 4 Xanax. One to try out this past week to see how it works and how it makes me feel. The other 3 are for me to dole out over the sleep study.

I also upped the ante a bit. My hubby has a cpap machine. So tonight I had him hook me up so I can feel it. As soon as he clicked it on, I started to cry. Lots of anxiety, but hubby layed down next to me and just let me work through. He's also going to make the trip with me and stay with me until he sees I'm calm enough to be left alone.

We're leaving the boys alone for the first time. They are 14 & 15 and their grandma lives .10 of a mile away. She'll keep an eye on them. They plan to stay up all night and play video games.

But my family is so supportive of me. We are calling this a trial run for surgery.

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You can do this!!! I hope the Xanax works for you!! If they don't explain anything fully to you please ask questions. If they scare you or are moving too fast for you, say something to them.

Good luck!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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