**Nevermind****

Hi Leener,

The "tone" is something that can't be dictated, and ebbs and flows with time. It's also very subjective; people read into posts what may not be there, projecting. The fact of the matter is that there is and has always been plenty of room for discussion on this board. It's something we value. If people think a support board must only be peaches and cream and pats-on-the-back all the time, they're just mistaken.

This is a very robust community, with people coming and going all the time. There's no reason at all to worry about the traffic.

I don't think, at this point, that it's any worse than most venues of this ilk. Most of the ones who left did so in support/protest because a few trouble makers were suspended, or because others weren't. One member left yesterday because she didn't like something one of the Mods posted. So be it. No matter how careful you are (and believe me, I try to be VERY careful), you will still get slammed occasionally.

I think this happens, in part, because we are allowed to vent our spleen, pretty much (Rant and Rave), but I love that about this board. If we had to stay on topic all the time, it would be soooooooo boring.

Many times I have written long, scathing posts and never submitted them. Why? Because sometimes, when presented with an opportunity to keep your mouth shut, you need to take advantage of it. Really.

We just all need to remember that once you cross the line (name-calling, flaming, creating bogus profiles, etc), you lose the right to argue your point. You can be pithy without being a horse's @ss, I promise.

I agree with both of you that this is not a perfect board nor a perfect world and it's not all fairy dust.

Rants & Raves, anything goes, but I'm talking more about outside of R&R.

Personally, I can handle it, I' can tell someone to you know what. But there are more sensitive souls, or newbies posting and not expecting to have to dodge a bullet. Me, I'll do a Matrix move on their arse. :-p

It just stinks. I have to admit, I'm more annoyed at reading posts here than I used to be, reading people getting hurt, angry, etc. so I visit less often, which is why I brought up the subject.

But I know, you can regulate people or force people to be nice.

And I agree Carlene, you can get your point across to someone without being an ass about it. Tact, my mom always said. ;-p

I try to read as many posts as possible given the small amount of time I have for the internet....and I can tell you.....reading selected posts during the past week has been an absolute pleasure.....we are back to lapband / support business again. The only negative post I have come across is this one.

Sorry.....but that's my opinion.

Carol

I was just thinking the other day how happy I was that the topics and posts were questions about pre-op diets, fills, and PB's, and how to control head hunger, etc...and lots of really good responses from the experienced bandsters in reply to those questions.

I am not aware of any overt negativity that is pervasive.

My posting this was to open up discussion, and it was not negative at all. I asked what other's thought, opinions, etc.

I guess we can't have civil discussion either?

I was simply expressing my own opinion. My saying to you;"clearly you need to get around more"---now THAT would be a negative.

Leener, see, I thought this discussion was perfectly civil and pleasant. Your observation was absolutely valid, and other people's opinions are absolutely valid as well. You seem to think this wasn't civil discussion? Now I'm

Anyway, since you edited out your opening remarks, would you like this thread to be closed?

Hi Alex, Yes close it. I edited because I could see where it this was heading.

My intention was to discuss how we can create a lively, but supportive and informative atmosphere and debating without being argumentitive, not create any more drama. I