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What Was Your Final "straw That Broke The Camels Back"



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finally realized that i have EVERY excuse not to go anywhere anymore because i feel so horrible about my weight. i refuse to take pics or let anyone take pics of me. my husband is 12 years younger than me and i am embarrased to be his OLD & FAT wife. i cant sleep at night because my legs and feet hurt. people have been asking me if i am pregnant.... when i see people i havent seen in a while they say "you look so different" yeah i look fat.... im down to one pair of pants that fit...

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My old Weight Watchers leader always said "pictures don't lie." I've done everything I can do to avoid getting in pictures, but someone snapped one of me--a group shot--and when I saw it, my old Weight Watchers leader's face flashed before me. I can stay in denial as long as I didn't have to look at myself! Nonetheless, I had my surgery a few days ago . . . I'm ready!!

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I'm sorry that you have had such a hard time. It's a vicious circle. You r depressed and then you eat and then you are more depressed. I like your post.

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For me, I used to look like Sophia Loren in my 20's. I was about 125. But, then emotionally over the years, a bad marriage and big weight gain. I was about 220 and I lost about 20 lbs. Being infatuated with a gorgeous man. Then the weight gain was 20 lbs. Reaching 240. I looked pregnant and all I want to do was sleep. I was addicted to Cookies, jellybeans and carbs

I hated my body. Also, my Blood pressure and Pre-Diabetic readings showed that I was headed for 300 lbs. So, I'm 218 lbs. Now. I can't wait to get below 200 lbs. I'm working out and eating pureed foods at the moment. People would tell me "You're just voluptuous. You are not eligible because you aren't 400 lbs.". But, I was unhappy and I was eligible. I will lose about 70 lbs. And maybe a little more. It's been 3.5 weeks and I'm being good. I love how I feel. I have so much energy. I live in a mobile home with a tiny bathtub. I know how much I've gained by how I feel in this tub. So, even a smaller body is desired by me. My BMI was 46.

, so I qualified.

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When I saw 349 on the scale, I had actually been watching the show Ruby to make myself feel better about just how heavy I was, because you know, I wasn't one of THOSE people. You know, the ones that have to have people come in and bathe them because they can't do it for themselves. How stupid and judgmental of me as an obese person to think that way, but I am working on keeping myself honest with... myself. I was diluting myself. I am no different or better than anyone else, simply because I am super obese and they are handicapped and super obese.

The 349 caused me to have about a week long spree of purging. I mean even normal amounts of food, and I had never done that and had always sort of looked cross eyed at the thought of someone indulging in bulimia. I mean, I loved food, that is what got me to this place, or so I thought. Why would I want to make myself miserable after eating? I actually went to my guy with the facts about me purging and told him I didn't want to live that kind of life. I told him I was tired of trying everything from weight watchers to Alli. I told him I would die if I didn't have this surgery because honestly, I would have.

Finally, I thought about my future.

In my future, there is a life that has yet to come into this world that I wouldn't dare bring into it with a Mom that was less than what they deserved. I want to have children, safely. I want to play with them, run with them, not embarrass them any more than normal sized parents embarrass their children, and I want them to know I am willing to do anything to protect them, I don't want to avoid going out with people because of my size, or avoid meeting new people because I am ashamed of myself. I want to ride the rides at six flags, sit in a movie theater comfortably, and not worry about what I am going to do if I have to fly on a plane. I want to buy normal sized clothing and shoes and honestly, I want to LIVE.

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I think mine was last summer when I went to go visit my younger more healthy and thin sister in San Francisco. She wanted to show me around where she lived and she wanted to walk everywhere. I was 272 lbs and with all the walking up and down the hills I just couldn't do it. We would walk for about 5 mins and I would just get exhausted!! She just didn't understand and was getting very frustrated. I had to just sit down and realize I needed a change!! Best disision I have ever made.

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Lizzyloo, I feel you. I can't go to to my favorite dog beach. I park and walk 1 long stretch of sand and I have to take breaks. My young dig looks me and doesn't understand. I'm not going back until I lose weight and exercise. My RA is so bad I can't even get up and down on my towel. It was hard to play ball with my dog. I'm looking forward to many things in the future. Going to the beach is just 1 of them.

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My "Final Straw" was a series of events.

Last November my weight began to creep back up in usual fashion. My friend recommended this weight loss doctor who had a program consisting of high Protein, low carb and appetite suppressants. When I went to the doctor he was so rude and the meds had some scary side effects that it pushed me to start exercising and dieting.

Jan 2014 I started exercise DVD programs and low carb dieting. Lost 23lbs by April 2014. May 2014-June 2014 I began to experience some weird debilitating light headedness so I stopped the dieting and exercise. By July I was feeling normal and had gained back 7lbs. By the end of August I gained back 15lbs.

*Final Straw*

September rolled around and a vacation that I had saved up for all year was approaching. Sadly, my weightloss goals I set for myself had failed and many of the cute outfits I bought in June for my vacation could no longer fit.

3 days before vacation I cried myself to sleep. I cried cuz I gained the weight back and because I failed another weight loss goal.

2 days before my vacation I texted my older sister that I was gonna have WLS. She texted me back "me too."

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I broke my leg thru the knee joint 9/6/13. Had a plate and 8 screws put in to hold it together, spent 12 weeks in a wheelchair waiting for it to heal. The repair did not hold, and the plateau collapsed. Was told mid April 2014 that I needed a total knee replacement. I told the ortho doc, ok, but let me lose some weight first. He then told me that for every pound I lost, there would be 4 pounds less pressure on my knee. That was major incentive to finally have the WLS that I had been thinking about for years. I was self pay, so they "fast tracked" my gastric bypass surgery date. Had WLS done 10 June, 2014, gall bladder surgery on 28 July, and total knee on 15 September. Have lost 69 lbs since I started this journey, and aside from some knee pain, I feel great! Bypass was the best thing I have ever done for myself.

Edited by Mayaresearchmom

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My history. Started 120 pounds. Gained 50 pounds with first child, lost 30, gained 50 pounds with second child, lost 30. Gained 60 pounds from working 7 days a week, lost 50. Gained 70 pounds from stress of husbands cancer, lost 80 pounds for daughters wedding. Gained 90 pounds back in less than 2 years. Changed jobs and found out I had hypothyroidism. I'm praying this will be a tool and severe counseling to lose it and keep it off once and for all.

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The depression and realization that I had alienated myself from everyone because I was so ashamed of my obesity.

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I dread getting on a plane and if I do I get the window seat because I feel like I have a little more room. I had a slight melt down on my last trip in September because I had a middle seat and my husband was in another part of the plane. At the last minute they were able to change is to the exit row and I got my window seat.

My husband wanted to go to an amusement park and I said I didn't want to go which confused him since I love roller coasters. I didn't want to go because I knew I would fit into the seat.

I'm starting to have issues with my left knee and I have a hard time getting up from sitting and forget getting down on the floor!

Just a few things... There are more little things that convince me that this is the right choice. I can't wait to do whatever I want and my size being the last thing on my mind!

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What finally made me decide was when I went with my family to a fireworks show this Fourth of July on the ohio river...when walking back to your car it is all uphill. By the time we got 1/3 of the way back I was dripping sweat and my lower back was killing me. I am 25 years old and felt 80. My family with me were mostly over 40 and I felt like compared to me they were practically running up the hill. I was almost in tears by the time we got back to the car because I was in so much pain and out of breath. The whole ride back with my family all I could think was this 300+ pounds is going to kill me it stops now. From that point I began researching what help was covered under my insurance whether surgical or non surgical and stumbled upon the hidden section of bariatric resources.....made my decision last month and am starting my journey to save my life.

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What finally made me decide was when I went with my family to a fireworks show this Fourth of July on the ohio river...when walking back to your car it is all uphill. By the time we got 1/3 of the way back I was dripping sweat and my lower back was killing me. I am 25 years old and felt 80. My family with me were mostly over 40 and I felt like compared to me they were practically running up the hill. I was almost in tears by the time we got back to the car because I was in so much pain and out of breath. The whole ride back with my family all I could think was this 300+ pounds is going to kill me it stops now. From that point I began researching what help was covered under my insurance whether surgical or non surgical and stumbled upon the hidden section of bariatric resources.....made my decision last month and am starting my journey to save my life.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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