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Does Anyone Else Have Problems With Their Coworkers?



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This is my first post on this forum and unfortunately, it's not going to be very positive. I only told my closest friends about having weight loss surgery so the majority of my coworkers are unaware of what I have done. I've lost a lot of weight in the last three months and every day someone has said something about it to my face and/or behind my back. Some of its nice, a lot of it is petty. Does anyone have any tips for dealing with this type of situation?

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I don't think I understand the situation--they're saying nasty things to you because you're losing weight? If that's true, I'm just as befuzzled as you as to why that would be happening. Can you give us an example of what you're talking about, just so we're talking about the same thing?

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I didn't tell anyone at work. I am 4 months post op and 75 pounds down and it is very noticeable. I get a lot of compliments at work and I just say thank you. I really don't care what people at work think or say. It's really not any of their business and it is inappropriate for the. To be commenting on it.

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I am a teacher - and they can be the best support group in the world - and the most critical! I told my team I was having the surgery this summer - and they are 100% supportive. There are also others who were not so supportive - calling it a crutch, easy way out, etc.... We had an aid that lost 100 pounds over 2 years, they all got together and gave her a $100 gift certificate for new clothes....I have a feeling that won't be the case for me :)

I just remind myself that I did it for me and my family - not anyone else :)

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I also chose not to tell any friends or coworkers. It's been about 2 months and many people have commented and said I look like I'm losing weight. I just say oh thanks and change the subject. Just stay strong and remember the reasons why your doing what your doing.

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I mean no disrespect here at all. I am going to ask the question though! Do you feel your coworkers offered her money because aides make significantly less money than teachers do? Are you an Aide or a teacher? Also, her weight loss was very gradual..as a sleeve patient, ours happens in a matter of months for some..I am 82# down and reaching for that 100# club..in a short 4 months. I am not saying that you shouldn't be treated the same in turn, but their reasoning may be you make more money..and anything they give you now and you bought would only be worn for a short time?? Perhaps they are waiting until you level off? Or they could just simply not want to give that to you. Either way..be proud of your personal accomplishments! Besides, statistically speaking your coworker if she didn't have surgery has a greater chance of gaining the weight back ( lord I hope she doesn't) and you will not have as great of a statistical chance of gaining it back! Hang in there. People are resistant to things they don't understand!

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The kindest comments I have received were from the maintenance and janitorial staff. Just yesterday one dear lady said, "You have lost so much weight. You are simply beautiful. Good job!" I could have kissed her.

Other, more gentile coworkers are uncomfortable with it and won't mention it.

Take the nice comments to heart and consider that the petty comments are from petty people and let it go.

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I would suggest if you don't want it going around the office don't tell anyone even your office bff about your surgery because it will get out. So it might have gotten out with out you knowing just yet and that can be some of the bad talking. I would suggest just ignoring it for the most part it will go away. If someone asks you something about your weight loss answer them in the most comfortable way you can answer their question.

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This is just one of many reasons I'm glad that I'm the only female on my team at work. :)

I guess what I would do depends on what kinds of things they're saying - e.g. are they speculating you had surgery, or that you're sick, or is it just catty stuff since your body is changing, or what?

I'd probably also consider the relationship I had with the people. Are you close? Are you frenemies? Good terms? Etc.

And also the work environment. Most of my work history is on large scale enterprise - corporate headquarters of Fortune 500 and up companies. How things work there, and how things work at Joe-Bob's Burgers & Tackle is a little different. What type of environment are you in? Do you have an HR department, or an HR person who is also your boss? :)

This is my first post on this forum and unfortunately, it's not going to be very positive. I only told my closest friends about having weight loss surgery so the majority of my coworkers are unaware of what I have done. I've lost a lot of weight in the last three months and every day someone has said something about it to my face and/or behind my back. Some of its nice, a lot of it is petty. Does anyone have any tips for dealing with this type of situation?

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It's so sad that some people can't just be simply happy for someone because they've accomplished something. They have to find criticism in it because it helps to justify their own feelings of low self-worth.

I don't hide it from anyone. If people ask, I tell them the truth. I have before and after pictures up at my desk for all to see. There are still a few people who don't know I had surgery but can obviously tell I've lost a lot of weight. They ask me what my secret is and I always tell them "Good insurance". Haha.

I know it's easier said than done but try not to pay too much attention to the nay-sayers. Like I said, they do it because it makes them feel a tiny bit better about themselves. Much like bullies. You did this for yourself and you should be SO proud of your success. Don't let the small minds of insignificant people put a damper on that.

Keep up the great work!!!! We all support you here!

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I mean no disrespect here at all. I am going to ask the question though! Do you feel your coworkers offered her money because aides make significantly less money than teachers do? Are you an Aide or a teacher? Also, her weight loss was very gradual..as a sleeve patient, ours happens in a matter of months for some..I am 82# down and reaching for that 100# club..in a short 4 months. I am not saying that you shouldn't be treated the same in turn, but their reasoning may be you make more money..and anything they give you now and you bought would only be worn for a short time?? Perhaps they are waiting until you level off? Or they could just simply not want to give that to you. Either way..be proud of your personal accomplishments! Besides, statistically speaking your coworker if she didn't have surgery has a greater chance of gaining the weight back ( lord I hope she doesn't) and you will not have as great of a statistical chance of gaining it back! Hang in there. People are resistant to things they don't understand!

Hi! :) I am a teacher, so yes, my income is more.....My comment wasn't made in jealousy (as I contributed to her gift card with gladness in my heart!!) It was more in reference to the comments people made when it was presented to her - that she did it all on her own, not the easy way with surgery! I am not in need of assistance with clothes - just noticed the prejudice with which many view having bariatric surgery. Sorry if that wasn't clear.... :)

I can't say it doesn't twinge a bit when people view my choice as an easy way out....That was my point!

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Now that makes sense! Well realize that people who aren't educated on the procedure don't realize you took the hard way out...some people would rather live with their ignorant bliss than became educated about something they don't understand..

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Hi! :) I am a teacher, so yes, my income is more.....My comment wasn't made in jealousy (as I contributed to her gift card with gladness in my heart!!) It was more in reference to the comments people made when it was presented to her - that she did it all on her own, not the easy way with surgery! I am not in need of assistance with clothes - just noticed the prejudice with which many view having bariatric surgery. Sorry if that wasn't clear.... :)

I can't say it doesn't twinge a bit when people view my choice as an easy way out....That was my point!

Most of the support staff in my office are the unclassy, gossiping type of women who are all at least 30-50 pounds overweight. Even though I told no one at my office that I had surgery, I've already heard rumors that I used WLS.

So when they say it's an easy way out, I look at their waistline and say, "At least I found a way out."

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So when they say it's an easy way out' date=' I look at their waistline and say, "At least I found a way out."[/quote']

I about snorted Water through my nose ..I planning on using this one!!!!!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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