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I didn't tell many people about my surgery only close friends. Well today I posted a picture on my wall same one for here just stating "down 42 and many more to go" someone that I never really talk to HAD to write "hey boo glad your surgery went well xoxo" I know who told her and I texted her letting her know that's know she told this girl and that it was not something I wanted everyone to know especially on Facebook and messages the girl who commented telling her thanks but my surgery wasn't anyone's business which is the reason I put it online. It was something private for the people I chose to know" am I overreacting?? My husband thinks my friend is jealous because she also struggles with her weight and feels I took the "easy way out" as she put it. Please I need the feedback ....thanks all

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I don't think you're overreacting. Your friend should have never said a word. I wouldn't hesitate to talk to both of them.

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I agree! I would definately say something to them. When I was doing all my research I found a girl on you tube that I really liked and in one of her videos she made a comment about how you have to change everything to be successful. And that includes your habits and friends... i have't eaten anything but liquids for 2weeks.... how is that the easy way?

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I, agree with Jar312! There will and must be changes that we'll face during this new journey in our life! I was told to be prepared for friends, co-workers, and even family that will treat me differently. For those that think we took the easy way out, I say, " Go kick rocks barefoot, you idiots"!!!!

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When you first told your friend about your surgery, had you made it clear to her that you didn't want her to tell anyone? If so, then she betrayed your trust. In that event, no, you're not overreacting. And I certainly wouldn't tell her anything else private in the future.

I made that mistake too, actually. I didn't want anyone to know except for a few people. However, I told someone I thought was trustworthy, but he spilled the Beans to a person we both know likes to gossip. I had to forgive the friend I told because I consider it "my" mistake that I told him in the first place. Looking back, I really had no reason to consider him trustworthy because I had never had to trust him with anything before.

I suppose the moral of my story is that just because someone is your friend, it doesn't mean that they will always do what is best for you, consciously or unconsciously.

And, I guess the best way to disseminate information is to tell people it's a secret.

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I tell this to my daughter all the time. Information is power the more information someone has on you the more power they can assert over you. Most people dont realize it but this is a perfect example of that. It may not be something they can do to cause you any major problems, but it is an inconvience that you shouldnt have to handle. Play things close to the vest and for those that think this is easy, they are ignorant. I'm 12 days post op and I have had only liquids for the past 26 days what is easy about that?

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The reason my husband is supportive is because he knows I struggle with it. People sometimes think this is like plastic surgery which I had my fair share of. It isn't. I haven't had my surgery yet but know things will change. They need to because I need to be physically unable to eat 3 giant banana pancakes with butter Syrup and a side of bacon.

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No your not overreacting i told my best friend let me have my surgery then i would join the gym with her and she said for what thats the easy way out! I thought i could go to her for support in anything i do not! So i told her this was not easy if it was a quick fix everyone would do it, and people who do decide to have surgery go through alot of changes so whats so easy. After that i didnt mention nothing to her anymore about it and when ahead and did it.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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